Want to ask nanny to be surrogate.

[Anonymous]

this is fucking absurd.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We are contemplating this. The last pregnancy was too rough on my body. We want to have at least one more. Nannies, would you be put off by this or would you be willing to do it?
I already planned to tell our nanny that she is welcome to say "no" and there will be no hard feeling or anything. What would you suggest?

I may be in the minority, but I would do it in a heartbeat for the pay. Obviously there needs to be some legal documents involved. I would love to carry a baby for someone I cared for, I'm not in the point where I'd want my own.

I don't know if I would ask your nanny, that would make the relationship between you two very different. She will have a tie to your infant, and if she were fired it would be very hard on her. I'd find someone else, through a company.

[Anonymous]

I am a nanny. It would be beyond difficult for me to carry a child to term and then care for it as an infant and then go home without it at the end of the day. How can you expect your nanny not to get attached to this child? What happens when you decide that you want to move on with your life and family and leave nanny behind. It seems kind of cruel to me to involve your nanny so intimately in this child's life when her position with your family (as much as you might think otherwise right now) is not permanent.

Also, if I was your nanny I might have a very hard time saying no despite my reservations.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:this is fucking absurd.

[phone]

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am a nanny. It would be beyond difficult for me to carry a child to term and then care for it as an infant and then go home without it at the end of the day. How can you expect your nanny not to get attached to this child? What happens when you decide that you want to move on with your life and family and leave nanny behind. It seems kind of cruel to me to involve your nanny so intimately in this child's life when her position with your family (as much as you might think otherwise right now) is not permanent.

Also, if I was your nanny I might have a very hard time saying no despite my reservations.

This. You want your nanny to birth your carry your child, give birth to it, care for it day after day, then just move on when the job ends? Would you be able to do that?

[Anonymous]

I will go under the assumption that this is a real post, and just say that it's hard to imagine this working out well at all. Even if she offered voluntarily, I think it would be a bad idea. How horrific to ask her to be a nanny to a child she gave birth to. Way too many lines being crossed.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Such an obvious troll post. Yawn.

I really, really hope you're right.

[Anonymous]

Let's be honest here. A surrogate leaves the baby anyway. A nanny gets attached to the kids. How is this different.

[Anonymous]

Op, contact your board certified therapist and ask if they think your plan is a good one for all parties involved.

Your nanny is NOT like family. You watch a relatives child for free.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Let's be honest here. A surrogate leaves the baby anyway. A nanny gets attached to the kids. How is this different.

All of it put together is just too much to ask of someone. Do you have children? If you have ever carried a child, you understand how difficult it is for anyone, even surrogates to part with that child afterward. That baby grew inside you. You talked to it. Sang to it. Questioned you every decision and its consequences for the little life you were carrying. To the give birth to that baby, hand it over to someone else, and then care for it every day, but leave it in the evening, to have no say in the big decisions that concern that baby but to have to carry them out whether you agree or not. And to then one day have the job end and that child is out of your daily life, after caring for him/her for however many years. That is too much to ask of even the strongest of people, let alone your employee. Just don't OP. there has to be someone else you could ask, or go through an agency.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Let's be honest here. A surrogate leaves the baby anyway. A nanny gets attached to the kids. How is this different.

It's just too much all together. That's completely ignoring the fact the OP doesn't even want to compensate the Nanny at the norm.

[Anonymous]

I assume this is a troll post but if not, your surrogate fee needs to be raised 3x to be fair/market/competitive. Otherwise, your plan sounds fair except for surrogacy compensation.

[Anonymous]

I'd do it.

[Anonymous]

So, increase pay to 27K? I think that would be fine. If she had multiples however we would not be able to double that along with everything else.

[Anonymous]

Op, please update if you do decide to follow through with this