Would like a reality check here please

[Anonymous]

$15.40/hr for all that, OP? The poor woman is getting screwed. And your kids are getting screwed if they end up needing "speech therapy", because they aren't learning much English.

[Anonymous]

What I see is that she is clearly unhappy w/the tax issue that occurred and is still holding a grudge against you and your husband for it. When you first hired her on a few yrs ago, you and your husband should have made it clear to her that she would have to pay some of her own taxes. If I were in her shoes, I would have assumed that you as my employer would have just deducted what needed to be taken out. After all, that is what most employers do, right?? However, w/her language barrier she should have had someone explain to her and clarify the whole tax issue prior to accepting the position.

Well now that is all water under the bridge.

Seems things have deteriorated a lot and since two innocent children are involved here and may be affected if they not already are, I would strongly advise you to give her her walking papers.

It's neither side's fault here. It's just a miscommunication that went a little too far and now it's hard to rebuild what has most likely been destroyed.

You can always give her an excellent childcare reference since you said she has been good w/your children.
But it is not for you to worry about whether or not she can secure future employment or not.

If having stable and secure employment was a high priority for her, she wouldn't have slacked off on her job.

I have had issues w/past families, but have never EVER let it affect my work ethic.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:$15.40/hr for all that, OP? The poor woman is getting screwed. And your kids are getting screwed if they end up needing "speech therapy", because they aren't learning much English.

The woman isn't getting screwed. She doesn't speak English and doesn't drive. Those people are not going to make as much as someone who drives and speaks English.

Did you ever consider that the employers want their children exposed to another language? And where is your proof that kids who grow up with non English speaking nannies need speech therapy? Do your research.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What I see is that she is clearly unhappy w/the tax issue that occurred and is still holding a grudge against you and your husband for it. When you first hired her on a few yrs ago, you and your husband should have made it clear to her that she would have to pay some of her own taxes. If I were in her shoes, I would have assumed that you as my employer would have just deducted what needed to be taken out. After all, that is what most employers do, right?? However, w/her language barrier she should have had someone explain to her and clarify the whole tax issue prior to accepting the position.

Well now that is all water under the bridge.

Seems things have deteriorated a lot and since two innocent children are involved here and may be affected if they not already are, I would strongly advise you to give her her walking papers.

It's neither side's fault here. It's just a miscommunication that went a little too far and now it's hard to rebuild what has most likely been destroyed.

You can always give her an excellent childcare reference since you said she has been good w/your children.
But it is not for you to worry about whether or not she can secure future employment or not.

If having stable and secure employment was a high priority for her, she wouldn't have slacked off on her job.

I have had issues w/past families, but have never EVER let it affect my work ethic.

The first part of your post doesn't make sense. It's not an employers job to say "by the way, you still have to file taxes for the year and if you owe anything it's your job to pay it." She's an adult and should know that for herself. I've never needed that explained to me in any job I've had.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:$15.40/hr for all that, OP? The poor woman is getting screwed. And your kids are getting screwed if they end up needing "speech therapy", because they aren't learning much English.

The woman isn't getting screwed. She doesn't speak English and doesn't drive. Those people are not going to make as much as someone who drives and speaks English.

Did you ever consider that the employers want their children exposed to another language? And where is your proof that kids who grow up with non English speaking nannies need speech therapy? Do your research.

Proof? Open your eyeballs, woman.
-Proudly bilingual

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
$15.40/hr for all that, OP? The poor woman is getting screwed. And your kids are getting screwed if they end up needing "speech therapy", because they aren't learning much English.


The woman isn't getting screwed. She doesn't speak English and doesn't drive. Those people are not going to make as much as someone who drives and speaks English.

Did you ever consider that the employers want their children exposed to another language? And where is your proof that kids who grow up with non English speaking nannies need speech therapy? Do your research.

Proof? Open your eyeballs, woman.
-Proudly bilingual

Enough with the lies. There is no correlation between bilingualism and the need for speech therapy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What I see is that she is clearly unhappy w/the tax issue that occurred and is still holding a grudge against you and your husband for it. When you first hired her on a few yrs ago, you and your husband should have made it clear to her that she would have to pay some of her own taxes. If I were in her shoes, I would have assumed that you as my employer would have just deducted what needed to be taken out. After all, that is what most employers do, right?? However, w/her language barrier she should have had someone explain to her and clarify the whole tax issue prior to accepting the position.

Well now that is all water under the bridge.

Seems things have deteriorated a lot and since two innocent children are involved here and may be affected if they not already are, I would strongly advise you to give her her walking papers.

It's neither side's fault here. It's just a miscommunication that went a little too far and now it's hard to rebuild what has most likely been destroyed.

You can always give her an excellent childcare reference since you said she has been good w/your children.
But it is not for you to worry about whether or not she can secure future employment or not.

If having stable and secure employment was a high priority for her, she wouldn't have slacked off on her job.

I have had issues w/past families, but have never EVER let it affect my work ethic.

OP here. In retrospect I understand that you are right. I should have explained to her how taxes work and that she will have to pay some. It was my ignorance. I did not realize that there are people who do not know how taxes work. We have offered to deduct on her behalf at some point. She turned us down on that. I suspect that she was thinking we will just take the money.

[Anonymous]

I don't see how it's your responsibility to explain taxes to your employee. She should be a responsible adult and educate herself. If she knew she was being paid under the table, she knew she wasn't paying taxes.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don't see how it's your responsibility to explain taxes to your employee. She should be a responsible adult and educate herself. If she knew she was being paid under the table, she knew she wasn't paying taxes.

She was and is paid on the books

[Anonymous]

Do both kids take an afternoon nap?
Honestly, I'm appalled that she's lived here for 20+ years and hasn't even attempted to learn the language. I was in a foreign country for two weeks and learned at least a few basic phrases.

Let's look at some of the things you wrote in your original post:
"She try to get us to pay [taxes] using manipulative methods." When you gave her money to help out with it, she put it in the wrong account.
She didn't have time for laundry. Did she say why? If I don't have time to get to a specific thing (laundry, dishes, etc) it's because of a specific reason.
"She is now few minutes late each day and we can see her standing in front of the house and chatting on the phone." Absolutely unacceptable. Is there a family emergency going on?
"She ignores me some time, i.e. just would not do something we agreed on." Why do you accept this terrible behavior?
True, she has been great with your kids.

"I also feel bad since I am not sure she can find a job that pays her what we pay her since she does not speak English and her native language is not Spanish." Not.Your.Problem. Eventually, you won't need her anymore. Why not bite the bullet now when everyone is unhappy?
Allergy to cleaning supplies? What sort of cleaning was she doing?

I'd find a new nanny. The caveat is that you won't find one as inexpensive as her.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Do both kids take an afternoon nap?
Honestly, I'm appalled that she's lived here for 20+ years and hasn't even attempted to learn the language. I was in a foreign country for two weeks and learned at least a few basic phrases.

Let's look at some of the things you wrote in your original post:
"She try to get us to pay [taxes] using manipulative methods." When you gave her money to help out with it, she put it in the wrong account.
She didn't have time for laundry. Did she say why? If I don't have time to get to a specific thing (laundry, dishes, etc) it's because of a specific reason.
"She is now few minutes late each day and we can see her standing in front of the house and chatting on the phone." Absolutely unacceptable. Is there a family emergency going on?
"She ignores me some time, i.e. just would not do something we agreed on." Why do you accept this terrible behavior?
True, she has been great with your kids.

"I also feel bad since I am not sure she can find a job that pays her what we pay her since she does not speak English and her native language is not Spanish." Not.Your.Problem. Eventually, you won't need her anymore. Why not bite the bullet now when everyone is unhappy?
Allergy to cleaning supplies? What sort of cleaning was she doing?

I'd find a new nanny. The caveat is that you won't find one as inexpensive as her.

Cleaning the nanny does involves kids' rooms, she cleans the dishes, table, kitchen floor , etc. after their lunch, she wipes the floor of the leaving room where they play, she would clean kids bathroom once in a while. she does not do what I would consider to be deep cleaning like scrubbing the oven or washing windows

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don't see how it's your responsibility to explain taxes to your employee. She should be a responsible adult and educate herself. If she knew she was being paid under the table, she knew she wasn't paying taxes.



She was and is paid on the books

I apologize for not being clearer. OP mentioned that ALL of the nanny's previous employers paid her under the table. She had to know, during 17 years of being paid under the table, that she was not paying her taxes. OP also mentioned nanny tried to get her to pay all the taxes, using "manipulative methods".

These two things seem to indicate the nanny knew about the taxes she hasn't been paying for years. This is why it isn't OP's problem that her nanny hasn't followed the law.

[Anonymous]

If she doesn't do deep cleaning, what cleaning products could she possibly be allergic to?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If she doesn't do deep cleaning, what cleaning products could she possibly be allergic to?

Op here. She wipes the counters with clorox wipes and uses windex to clean the kitchen table

[Anonymous]

I'm pretty amazed by the fact you haven't fired her yet. You have a big heart but she is bad news. I don't think you are at fault but if you have doubts, simply increase the amount you pay to her as a lump-sum severance. At any rate, sanity check is sustained -- you aren't crazy, this arrangement has run its course. It wasn't a failure, it was just time-limited, and the time has run out. Move on.