Day off...sick kids...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

It would be nice if it were as simple as the parents just asking and nanny saying no, but most of us know that it just isn't. There is always a level of guilt that comes with saying no (hence this thread) and a level of resentment that the parents know its their employees day off and still feel entitled to ask anyways. Unless it is a dire emergency or something incredibly unexpected came up, parents really should not be contacting the nanny on her day off at all, especially not to come in on their day off/ask where Jack's missing shoe is/to see if they can stay late in three weeks. Boundaries seem to be impossible to establish in this field and, more often than not, it's because the employers can not seem to adhere to them. It's just unfair to put your nanny in these kind of situations.

Being asked to come in on your day off is not exclusive to a nanny position, nor does it necessarily indicate an issue of boundaries not being respected. I have not had a job yet where I wasn't asked to come in on my day off on occasion and I have worked in all sorts of environments from restaurant jobs in college to professional/ corporate jobs. Being asked to work on your day off has to do with how many people are trained and available for a certain job, not how much your employers disrespect you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

It would be nice if it were as simple as the parents just asking and nanny saying no, but most of us know that it just isn't. There is always a level of guilt that comes with saying no (hence this thread) and a level of resentment that the parents know its their employees day off and still feel entitled to ask anyways. Unless it is a dire emergency or something incredibly unexpected came up, parents really should not be contacting the nanny on her day off at all, especially not to come in on their day off/ask where Jack's missing shoe is/to see if they can stay late in three weeks. Boundaries seem to be impossible to establish in this field and, more often than not, it's because the employers can not seem to adhere to them. It's just unfair to put your nanny in these kind of situations.

Being asked to come in on your day off is not exclusive to a nanny position, nor does it necessarily indicate an issue of boundaries not being respected. I have not had a job yet where I wasn't asked to come in on my day off on occasion and I have worked in all sorts of environments from restaurant jobs in college to professional/ corporate jobs. Being asked to work on your day off has to do with how many people are trained and available for a certain job, not how much your employers disrespect you.

In a field where almost all FT workers are working regular overtime, and when the requests are usually made by employers who are more than capable of handling situations on their own (they just don't want to), it IS disrespectful to ask someone to come in on their day off. And, though this point has been made on TONS of other threads, your previous office/restaurant/retail jobs are not comparable to nannying.
In restaurants and other service industries you have much more flexibility with your schedule and likely can get someone to cover your shift when you need it. Your one day a week off is generally doesn't have to be your only option to be off.
In a corporate situation you are likely being compensated in a host of ways, monetarily to say the least, that nannies are not. If I had a pension, health care, a real lunch hour, a company gym and the paycheck to match, you bet I would expect and be fine with pitching in on an occasional day off. For most nannies, the weekend is the biggest perk they get.

[Anonymous]

I definitely agree that OP is right in not going in on her day off but you go over the top, 16:19 with how special nannies are and how aggrieved they should be with simply being asked to come in on the day off. Parents can ask and nannies can decline.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Being asked to work on your day off has to do with how many people are trained and available for a certain job, not how much your employers disrespect you.

Wait so the PARENTS aren't trained to take care of their own children!! I mean both parents are available (or at least one). Shouldn't they know what they are doing????

[Anonymous]

OP, don't worry about how they feel about it. That's not your problem. If you are doing your job well, they can feel however they want about your refusal to come in. No one can make another person feel guilty. That's our own choice.

I'm a nanny and don't see anything wrong with calling me on my day off. I'm okay occasionally answering questions. And if I'm free and feel like it, I would come in. But if not, I would just decline. If I'm busy, I might not answer. The parents can feel however they want about it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I definitely agree that OP is right in not going in on her day off but you go over the top, 16:19 with how special nannies are and how aggrieved they should be with simply being asked to come in on the day off. Parents can ask and nannies can decline.

Never said nannies were special. Just that the job is not comparable to working in an office or restaurant. And, not why this is so hard to grasp but, yes parents can ask/nannies can decline, of course. It is seldom this cut and dry thoug.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I definitely agree that OP is right in not going in on her day off but you go over the top, 16:19 with how special nannies are and how aggrieved they should be with simply being asked to come in on the day off. Parents can ask and nannies can decline.

This is the issue. In most jobs, you may be asked to come in on your day off, but you can say no. Your boss can be peeved, but there are likely procedures in place to protect you from being fired because you annoyed your boss. These protections do not exist for nannies. Nannies have been fired for much less, and MBs/DBs answer to no one. A nanny can feel incredible pressure to acquiesce to every request, for fear of losing their job to the whims of their boss. There was no harm in asking, sure, but a conscientious boss recognizes the imbalance of power, and would do their best to recognize how difficult it'd be for their nanny to refuse this request and would make it clear that she is free to do so without repercussions. If OP came away from the conversation feeling guilty and as though her bosses were upset with her, questioning her right to say no, something isn't right.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Are they sick too? If so, I can understand. If not, then don't feel bad at all and enjoy your day off!

What can you understand?

I can understand that if the parents are puking right along with the children that they might have asked her if she could come in. Not demanded, just asked.
She also has the right to say no and that is perfectly understandable as well.

It would be nice if it were as simple as the parents just asking and nanny saying no, but most of us know that it just isn't. There is always a level of guilt that comes with saying no (hence this thread) and a level of resentment that the parents know its their employees day off and still feel entitled to ask anyways. Unless it is a dire emergency or something incredibly unexpected came up, parents really should not be contacting the nanny on her day off at all, especially not to come in on their day off/ask where Jack's missing shoe is/to see if they can stay late in three weeks. Boundaries seem to be impossible to establish in this field and, more often than not, it's because the employers can not seem to adhere to them. It's just unfair to put your nanny in these kind of situations.

Comes with the territory. This just isn't like any other line of work, so there aren't a clear set of rules.

[Anonymous]

MB here. As long as you were polite, of course it's fine. They asked for a favor, you were unable to provide the favor, so you said that. It's fine.

[Anonymous]

Don't feel bad OP.

I wouldn't have wanted to come in on my day off, but esp. when the kids were sick.

Who in their right minds would want to be exposed to kid's germs??

Screw your bosses if they were annoyed.

They are able to care for their own sick kids themselves.