Never had an MB who didn't discuss potential plans with me first

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Nannies need to get over themselves. It isn't "your day". You are working and the parents and kids don't need to get your approval on their interests or who they like for play dates.

No, you don't need my approval, but you do need my consent. Now if you were
my master and I was your slave, I would have to do whatever you told me to.

We know that these master/slave relationships still exist, but I'd like to think that none of those masters are on this forum.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Nannies need to get over themselves. It isn't "your day". You are working and the parents and kids don't need to get your approval on their interests or who they like for play dates.

No, you don't need my approval, but you do need my consent. Now if you were
my master and I was your slave, I would have to do whatever you told me to.

We know that these master/slave relationships still exist, but I'd like to think that none of those masters are on this forum.

OMG with the slave comparisons. The entitlement! You wouldn't last a day in a professional setting with this kind of attitude. Of course your employer gets a large degree of say over how your day is spent. It's a freaking job that they are paying you for. That doesn't mean you are their slave.

[Anonymous]

I am a MB who posts fairly often on DCUM. I can honestly say I am beginning to disagree with most posters on here in most situations and it really bothers me. I have an amazing nanny. She has so much experience, she is kind and caring and loves my children greatly. She is like family to my children. I do not at all think the nanny profession is like and other profession at all. I would never "manage" my nanny, tell her what to do, etc. My nanny is another parenting adult in my household and is given full freedom to make child raising decisions just as my DH and I. I seriously don't understand MBs who feel their nannies are just employees when they are helping raise your children. Thats just me I guess.. I feel very blessed with our past nanny and present one. Both who will forever be like family.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am a MB who posts fairly often on DCUM. I can honestly say I am beginning to disagree with most posters on here in most situations and it really bothers me. I have an amazing nanny. She has so much experience, she is kind and caring and loves my children greatly. She is like family to my children. I do not at all think the nanny profession is like and other profession at all. I would never "manage" my nanny, tell her what to do, etc. My nanny is another parenting adult in my household and is given full freedom to make child raising decisions just as my DH and I. I seriously don't understand MBs who feel their nannies are just employees when they are helping raise your children. Thats just me I guess.. I feel very blessed with our past nanny and present one. Both who will forever be like family.

Thank you for posting. We love you for expressing your appreciation for your nanny. I suspect some of the other MBs have little understanding of what a nanny is. What they have, is simply a FT sitter who they need to constantly manage and complain about.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Other than the occasional doctor's appointment, playdate, or a class she wants us to take, I typically plan the day with the children, not the mother. The families I work for know I have a proven track record of being a professional nanny, so there isn't the need to micromanage my day with the kids. I also keep a log of what we do everyday, so the parents know I'm not just putting little John and Suzy in front of the tv all day.

One of the big parts about accepting a job is the chemistry between you and the family. I took a couple of jobs where I took them for other reasons, and they did not last more than a year. But the jobs where I knew we were all on the same page would end up being jobs that lasted several years.

I don't sleep on the job, I don't expect mb to provide my food, I don't complain because I have to take the kids to the pool, I don't bring my laundry to work to wash it, I do more around the house than just what the children use. I also interact with my charges at the playground and have plenty of activities planned for us, I teach them to do chores around the house and how to be respectful to people. Why? Because I am a professional nanny and know I am there to provide the family with awesome service and not the other way around.

Nannies, THIS is what an MB will pay top rates and bend over backwards for. You sound amazing.

Thank you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Sorry. My friend called at 9pm last night saying her toddler kept asking for mine so she wanted to know if they could get together today. I don't see anything wrong with saying sure, my nanny will meet them at the park/zoo/library/whatever at 10am. Rather than disturb my nanny in her off time I just left her a note for when she got in this morning. I didn't think I needed to get her approval or give any warning ahead of time for things like that.

My MB would leave me a note asking me to call the mom to let her know if we'd like to get together that day. It's how we have a mutually respectful relationship.

Exactly. If your toddler had another friend that had wanted to go to the library for story time with her at 10am and we had already made plans for that, and then you set up a different playdate for that same time, then we would have a problem. If I had the option to call and say that day wasn't good for us, and then plan a day that WOULD be good, that would be much better. As their nanny, I tend to make the playdates or work WITH the mother to do so for the time I have the kids, and so the mom doesn't always know what we have planned. She doesn't ask for our "schedule" in advance, I just let her know that day what we think we will do.

[Anonymous]

PP here, that would be assuming the playdate the mom set up was for a specific place as well and the playdate couldn't be combined with both other kids and my charge.

[Anonymous]

To 14:35, thank-you! I understand that as a nanny, yes, we need to abide to what are employers want for their children. But, to the MB's and DB's that want to plan out the whole day and micromanage...QUIT YOUR JOB AND WATCH YOUR KIDS YOURSELF!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Sorry. My friend called at 9pm last night saying her toddler kept asking for mine so she wanted to know if they could get together today. I don't see anything wrong with saying sure, my nanny will meet them at the park/zoo/library/whatever at 10am. Rather than disturb my nanny in her off time I just left her a note for when she got in this morning. I didn't think I needed to get her approval or give any warning ahead of time for things like that.

My MB would leave me a note asking me to call the mom to let her know if we'd like to get together that day. It's how we have a mutually respectful relationship.

Exactly. If your toddler had another friend that had wanted to go to the library for story time with her at 10am and we had already made plans for that, and then you set up a different playdate for that same time, then we would have a problem. If I had the option to call and say that day wasn't good for us, and then plan a day that WOULD be good, that would be much better. As their nanny, I tend to make the playdates or work WITH the mother to do so for the time I have the kids, and so the mom doesn't always know what we have planned. She doesn't ask for our "schedule" in advance, I just let her know that day what we think we will do.

It's great that works for you. I leave the house before our nanny arrives in the mornings and normally get home after she leaves. Just because your way works for you it doesn't mean my way is disrespectful. My nanny and I have a different setup is all. She would never make plans for a future day without running it by me first.

[Anonymous]

I am in charge of our daily schedule when I am on the clock. I find our activities, set up play dates, etc. I have never had MB tell us what to do with our day nor have I ever had to ask MB if our plans were ok with her... She leaves me in charge when I am on the clock...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Sorry. My friend called at 9pm last night saying her toddler kept asking for mine so she wanted to know if they could get together today. I don't see anything wrong with saying sure, my nanny will meet them at the park/zoo/library/whatever at 10am. Rather than disturb my nanny in her off time I just left her a note for when she got in this morning. I didn't think I needed to get her approval or give any warning ahead of time for things like that.

My MB would leave me a note asking me to call the mom to let her know if we'd like to get together that day. It's how we have a mutually respectful relationship.

Exactly. If your toddler had another friend that had wanted to go to the library for story time with her at 10am and we had already made plans for that, and then you set up a different playdate for that same time, then we would have a problem. If I had the option to call and say that day wasn't good for us, and then plan a day that WOULD be good, that would be much better. As their nanny, I tend to make the playdates or work WITH the mother to do so for the time I have the kids, and so the mom doesn't always know what we have planned. She doesn't ask for our "schedule" in advance, I just let her know that day what we think we will do.

It's great that works for you. I leave the house before our nanny arrives in the mornings and normally get home after she leaves. Just because your way works for you it doesn't mean my way is disrespectful. My nanny and I have a different setup is all. She would never make plans for a future day without running it by me first.

My boss trusts me and has hired me for a reason, to do things like this. She leaves the activities up to me as I know most of the friends, I know what our usual regular schedule is for certain activities and I am the one bringing the child everywhere. She would never insist that we do something without talking to me about it first or giving us the option to schedule it for another day. You never know what might happen that day including the child getting sick and us not being able to go for that reason. She will leave me the contact info for the friend in question, a possible place and time, and then let me confirm with the mother/nanny/au pair of the other child or set something up for later. There is no reason to have someone else confirm for me when it is just a simple playdate and not that important in the grand scheme of things. It is a totally different story if it is for something like a lesson or doctors appt that has to be structured a bit more and doesn't always let us just pick and choose when it would be convenient for us.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Nannies need to get over themselves. It isn't "your day". You are working and the parents and kids don't need to get your approval on their interests or who they like for play dates.

Seriously. How many people have jobs where they get to determine their jobs?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Nannies need to get over themselves. It isn't "your day". You are working and the parents and kids don't need to get your approval on their interests or who they like for play dates.

Seriously. How many people have jobs where they get to determine their jobs?

I meant schedules. The parents are the boss

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Nannies need to get over themselves. It isn't "your day". You are working and the parents and kids don't need to get your approval on their interests or who they like for play dates.

Seriously. How many people have jobs where they get to determine their jobs?

I meant schedules. The parents are the boss

Unless they normally leave that up to the nanny to decide, which many parents do. If I was always checking in with the parents about schedules than I don't see it being much of a problem. When I am in charge of the schedule and don't tell them every single thing we are doing every single day (because they really don't want to know in advance unless it is something big like a day trip to the zoo), then it could mess with already set plans.