Hiring a Nanny: A Road Map for Parents

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I completely disagree with the child development paragraph. This just is not necessary unless you have a very unique situation (don't plan to go to preschool, have no educational toys and materials in your house, plan to be away for 80 hours a week). Infants and young children need someone who is loving, patient, and enjoys interacting with young children. They actually have very simple needs. A nanny who loves to read to and with children is giving them the exact same advantage as a nanny who is reading to them because she took a class on why reading is important. In fact, the nanny that loves to read to kids is probably better anyway.

In our experience, the nannies with an interest in child development or who had taken courses actually had pretty bad ideas about how to spend the day with a small child. There were too many preschool teacher wanna bees offering to bring an inappropriate curriculum so they basically could "pretend" they were being a preschool teacher rather than a nanny. They tend to be more of the lets run to all over town to a ton of outings type because they find it boring to just play with a child. They tend to be the ones who think they are the best thing ever while they chat and text away on their funs. None of this benefits your child. Its just bull and a scam.

Hands down the best nannies are the ones who have experience with multiple age ranges, have been with families for several years, have shown flexibility as tasks and needs change, and have a good work ethic where there perform valuable household tasks rather than expect a 3 hour break in the middle of the day. These nannies give your child an environment where they can thrive and enjoy being kids. They give you quality time with your kids in the evenings and weekends because light housekeeping is done. They give you piece of mind not drama and aggravation for a high price with little value to your kids in return.

I didn't read the child development part the way you did. I agree with you that child development doesn't equal dragging a poor kid all over town before he's ready to appreciate any of it.

What I understood the child development bit to be about is a sound knowledge of what is normal for kids to do at what age, and why. I'm a first-time mother, what do I know? Of course, I read up on parenting books and whatnot, but I found it very helpful when my nanny said something along the lines of:

- it's time for him to start learning to drink from a sippy cup - why don't we try and see what happens
- it's a good time to start potty training; why don't you get a pack of underwear and we'll see
- it's a good time for him to start playing with utensils, do you want to try that?
- I notice that he isn't doing XX, and many kids his age have, you may want to mention it at your next dr visit
- don't kill yourself arranging playdates, kids at that age don't play with other kids anyway

etc. That I would find, and did find, very helpful.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
Huh? Don't you even know what a nanny is? A nanny is not your housekeeper. Every family I have ever worked with, had a housekeeper and it wasn't me. You must be new on this forum.

How special for you that you've only worked for families wealthy enough to have two domestic employees.

Sorry if this seems harsh to you, but middle class families do family care, friend care or daycare. Or God forbid they do their own. Only well to do families can afford an exclusive nanny. Unless the "nanny" is that bargain deal. Even the poor can afford that.

I recall a newspaper article where there was a shooting in a low-income, high crime part of the city. A witness reported what she saw, as she was leaving her "nanny" job.

Don't know any middle class families who leave kids with friends to care for them.

[Anonymous]

What I understood the child development bit to be about is a sound knowledge of what is normal for kids to do at what age, and why. I'm a first-time mother, what do I know? Of course, I read up on parenting books and whatnot, but I found it very helpful when my nanny said something along the lines of:

- it's time for him to start learning to drink from a sippy cup - why don't we try and see what happens
- it's a good time to start potty training; why don't you get a pack of underwear and we'll see
- it's a good time for him to start playing with utensils, do you want to try that?
- I notice that he isn't doing XX, and many kids his age have, you may want to mention it at your next dr visit
- don't kill yourself arranging playdates, kids at that age don't play with other kids anyway

etc. That I would find, and did find, very helpful.

These are things that you will hear from an experienced nanny regardless of her educational background. The bolded statements are ones that would be more likely to come from an experienced nanny rather than a less experienced nanny with a degree in child development.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

What I understood the child development bit to be about is a sound knowledge of what is normal for kids to do at what age, and why. I'm a first-time mother, what do I know? Of course, I read up on parenting books and whatnot, but I found it very helpful when my nanny said something along the lines of:

- it's time for him to start learning to drink from a sippy cup - why don't we try and see what happens
- it's a good time to start potty training; why don't you get a pack of underwear and we'll see
- it's a good time for him to start playing with utensils, do you want to try that?
- I notice that he isn't doing XX, and many kids his age have, you may want to mention it at your next dr visit
- don't kill yourself arranging playdates, kids at that age don't play with other kids anyway

etc. That I would find, and did find, very helpful.

These are things that you will hear from an experienced nanny regardless of her educational background. The bolded statements are ones that would be more likely to come from an experienced nanny rather than a less experienced nanny with a degree in child development.

Yes, I agree, and just to clarify, I do not believe that this knowledge MUST come from formal schooling, degrees etc. I just want my nanny to know that. I don't care how she comes by that knowledge.

[Anonymous]

FYI this was selectively copied and pasted from NannyNetwork.com

http://www.nannynetwork.com/Library/Parentlib/hiringa.cfm

[nannydebsays]

For those parents who prefer to hire housekeeper/nanny combos, how do you manage if your nap expectations are not met? Do you start dropping housework if your child is a poor napper from the start of his time with HK/Nanny? (Say, 20 minute naps 5 times a day as an infant, 1 hour nap as a toddler, no nap at age 2.)

What happens when your child drops his naps at age 3 or 4 but your second child is now napping 1 hour stretches 3x a day? Do you still expect HK/Nanny to clean your house?

I guess my question is, how do you keep your expectations realistic and do you choose to have HK/Nanny focus on your kids or your floors and laundry? Do you consider what you could accomplish in your HK/Nanny's place, or do you expect more of them than you do of yourself?

[Anonymous]

How is this housekeeping issue even an issue. I have been exclusively a nanny for 10+ years and have always done light housework as part of my job, not because I have needed it outlined in some bs contract, but because it is common sense and easy to just complete things throughout the day. It doesn't even need to cut into my precious break time either-
unload the dishwasher while LO is playing with some play dough
-laundry takes 2 minutes at a time
-sweeping/general cleaning up can just happen as messes are made
-not all toys are taken out at once, and we pick up as we go
-the rug looks dirty, vacuum it
No, I don't clean bathrooms or mop (unless there is a major spill) but seriously, are there nannies who don't just do all of these things as the days go along??
I am baffled that people who fancy themselves able to care for children are unable to multi-task and complete basic household cores. I don't think it's at all indicative of the profession as a whole, but there seem to be an awful lot of lazy people out there.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:How is this housekeeping issue even an issue. I have been exclusively a nanny for 10+ years and have always done light housework as part of my job, not because I have needed it outlined in some bs contract, but because it is common sense and easy to just complete things throughout the day. It doesn't even need to cut into my precious break time either-
unload the dishwasher while LO is playing with some play dough
-laundry takes 2 minutes at a time
-sweeping/general cleaning up can just happen as messes are made
-not all toys are taken out at once, and we pick up as we go
-the rug looks dirty, vacuum it
No, I don't clean bathrooms or mop (unless there is a major spill) but seriously, are there nannies who don't just do all of these things as the days go along??
I am baffled that people who fancy themselves able to care for children are unable to multi-task and complete basic household cores. I don't think it's at all indicative of the profession as a whole, but there seem to be an awful lot of lazy people out there.

Of course good nannies do many of these things and then some. At least I do, out of the goodness of my heart. I'm just that kind of person. But like you, I'd be insulted if anyone tried to make those demands in a contract. So they could cough it up when the child was sick and totally needed me? No. Not even an option. Your child comes first. Always.
I always leave the house better than I found it. You parents just need to hire more wisely and you wouldn't be dealing with all this nonsense.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

What I understood the child development bit to be about is a sound knowledge of what is normal for kids to do at what age, and why. I'm a first-time mother, what do I know? Of course, I read up on parenting books and whatnot, but I found it very helpful when my nanny said something along the lines of:

- it's time for him to start learning to drink from a sippy cup - why don't we try and see what happens
- it's a good time to start potty training; why don't you get a pack of underwear and we'll see
- it's a good time for him to start playing with utensils, do you want to try that?
- I notice that he isn't doing XX, and many kids his age have, you may want to mention it at your next dr visit
- don't kill yourself arranging playdates, kids at that age don't play with other kids anyway

etc. That I would find, and did find, very helpful.

These are things that you will hear from an experienced nanny regardless of her educational background. The bolded statements are ones that would be more likely to come from an experienced nanny rather than a less experienced nanny with a degree in child development.

MB here. To me, these things are the ground level of child development knowledge. Yes, it is good for a nanny to know this stuff, but everything on this list can be picked up by an engaged parent from a quick skim of a basic book like "What To Expect." What I want from a nanny--and the reason I've sent my experienced nanny to trainings and asked her to commit to reading certain child development and toddler curriculum books--is an understanding of how to encourage skills development through planned activities and an understanding of how to talk with children in a way that stimulates language development, self awareness, and emotional IQ. I read this stuff, too, but the nanny needs to be on the same page as the parents in order to provide sufficient reinforcement and consistency.

I require some light housekeeping as well, to supplement what my regular cleaning service does. Light housekeeping and a commitment to professional development need not be mutually exclusive.