Being Jerked Around
![[Post New]](/nanny-forum/templates/default/images/icon_minipost_new.gif){kind=icon}
Anonymous
|
OP here and I apologize for not using paragraphs and proper grammar. I just really needed to get everything out and express myself because I'm upset about the situation. I understand to some degree why they did what they did but in the end I still feel that they could have handled things a lot better.
I do plan to look for a full time job so that I can let them know in mid-July that I won't be returning. If I tell them in mid-July then that gives them a month to find someone for after school care. I think that's a reasonable amount of time to find someone new. I don't want to go to their level and give them virtually no notice because I'm just not that kind of person. When it comes time to provide a reference for me I hope they remember all of the kind things that I have done for them and for their children. I hope they remember that I'm always on time, always offer to do things for them when I know they could use the help, do extra hours without complaint, find enriching and educational activities for their children every day, give the children endless amounts of cuddles and love every day, and above all I have really enjoyed my job and hope that they know this. All I ask for is a great reference and in return I will still babysit because I really adore their children and couldn't imagine never seeing them again. I know everyone tells nannies to not get to attached but after being with them as long as I have it's impossible to not get attached. I cried after I left their house the other night when I realized that this has come to an end and I won't see the children every day any more. It will be hard for me to leave but I know it's the right thing to do. |
Anonymous
|
OP, I read through your first post without a problem.
Good luck with your job search. I would be frustrated as well. |
Anonymous
|
It sounds like you have your head in the sand. The parents have been upfront with you all along the way with what they are thinking. This is far better for you than being kept in the dark until they make a final decision and give you two weeks notice. You need to realize that ensuring your continued employment is not the family's responsibility. You have known for a while that your job will be coming to an end at some point in the not so distant future.
A smart person would have started saving immediately, began work on updating certifications, updated their resumes, gotten a written reference letter and started seriously looking for another job that is a good fit. |
Anonymous
|
OP, it sucks to be told your job is ending. However, it's not their fault your husband isn't working. And it's not their fault that you have not saved much despite working for almost three years.
Quite frankly, you are lucky. Most people get no notice at all that their job is ending. They just get told, handed their final check and then are escorted from the building. Be professional, ask for a reference letter, and go out to find another position. Once you get the new position, set up a line item in your budget for monthly savings. |
Anonymous
| 14:39 and 14:46 it's hard to save when I make $12/hr. and support 2 people on that. My husband is working hard to find a job but he can't force someone to hire him. I was originally told that my end date would be mid-August with a full time paycheck until then. I then was told the other night that my end date is now June 30th. I really don't think you would have liked it if this had happened to you. I did revise my resume a couple months ago in case they decided to send him to Kindergarten but didn't start sending it out until recently when they told me they had ultimately decided on that after already telling me that they were going to do pre-k for another year and my job was safe. It would be great if you had read everything. I am sending my resume out all over the place trying to find something that starts asap. Much like my husband can't force someone to hire him neither can I. Btw I have been professional. I asked them for a reference letter today and we had a very civil conversation the other night about the position ending. I'm not sure why you would think something different happened other than that. |
Anonymous
|
It sounds like you have until the end of June to work a regular schedule, and then the parents are prepared to pay you one or two weeks severance? I would put your frustration and surprise aside and focus on pushing for the two weeks severance. That is the right thing for the family to do given how long you've been with them and the fact that they are changing your end date rather abruptly. However, even if they only give you a week of severance they still would have given you two weeks notice overall. That's not great, but not unreasonable either.
It isn't clear from your post why they don't need you at all in July, but I wouldn't necessarily assume this is something they've known about. It sounds like they are just getting around to locking in summer and fall plans--not ideal, but not that unusual for a busy family. Again, they seem like they are trying to balance your needs with theirs. Explain to them why you think two weeks severance following your last day on June 30 is fair and necessary to give you a cushion while you find another job. Remind them that it is late for people to be looking for summer nannies and early for them to be looking for fall nannies, so the family's timing really puts you in a bad spot financially. As for the August dates, tell them you're open to helping out then but can't commit because you need full time work and if the right fit comes up before then, you will need to take it. Also, ask the MB if she can help you find another job by posting a recommendation on her neighborhood listserv, at her local gym, or in similar outlets. |
Anonymous
| Op here: PP I think they knew because they always have things planned out way in advance, especially summer activities. For two week their oldest child is going to a sleep away camp which would have left me with just the youngest child. It turns out that their aunt is a school teacher and has a child that will be going to this same camp so she will be staying here for 2 weeks and watching the youngest child. Both of them going to this camp was planned a few months ago. Then their former nanny from where they used to live is asking to come visit for a week and they wan to pay her to watch them that week and don't want to pay both of us. The last week in July they are going to the beach. So I am not needed for all of July. She said they had the schedule all done out a while ago but it didn't dawn on them til the other day that they don't need me at all that month. I was supposed to have guaranteed full time pay until Mid-August. I'm trying to suck it up and be greatful for the pay I will get and find another job. |
Anonymous
|
OP it's really lame that they only gave you a week or two of notice for the end of a 3 year commitment. I'd be hurt and angry as well, regardless of whether or not I had a nice savings cushion.
Good luck finding something new and I hope this position ends on a happy note so your reference stays intact and you get to continue seeing the kids 
|
Anonymous
I agree with this poster (and, OP, I read your whole post despite the lack of paragraphs). Unless one of the parents was just laid off or a grandparent or someone is coming for the entire month of July and they *just* found out, it definitely sounds like you're being jerked around. Hope you find a new position soon! |
Anonymous
Wait, I thought this was a new post from today and that your job was secure for a few weeks into July? How did the end date get turned into June 30th and you were told of this a few days ago? There are plenty of ways to start saving money if needed. You can cut out things from your budget that are not necessary (give up the cable tv, drop to a lower speed internet connection if you have a more expensive one, stop buying food that is more luxury than basic items, stop eating out and going to the movies, etc). If you have been living paycheck to paycheck with this already cut out, then your husband really should have found some sort of job to bring in some money. While it might not be ideal to have him working a minimum wage job at a fast food place, it would be at least $7-8/hr more than you are currently bringing in as a household. If he couldn't even get something like that, then you need to move elsewhere or figure out what is really wrong as there is definitely something up. You have a month to find something new. That sounds like plenty of time to find something, and have the possibility of working a few weeks in July if you still haven't found anything by then. I agree that it would be bad and unprofessional to give them notice very last minute that you won't be coming back for PT hours in Aug, but saying that you can stay with them through the month and into early July (I would leave it vague like that for now), should be what they are looking for. I doubt they want to find someone new for like 1-3 weeks FT in the summer, so they likely won't let you go any earlier if you let them know you won't be around for PT hours later. They will most likely just find someone starting Aug that is looking for PT work. |
Anonymous
| Sorry, I hadn't read the rest of the replies to see that you are saying you DEFINITELY don't have any work in July now. They sound like they might be screwing with you, as who really has their old nanny come visit for a whole week and decide to pay HER but not their current nanny? It sounds more like they are trying to find ways for you to not be with them. Did you happen to do something recently that might have caused them to think bad of you? Something that was an accident but could have made them decide to get other coverage for as much time as possible? If not (not saying you did), then they just sound like a crappy family for treating an employee of the past 3 years like that. No loss if this is so. I would be glad to be cutting ties and moving on. |
Anonymous
| 00:47 I didn't do anything wrong. I asked them if I did something wrong or if they were unhappy and they said no that I'm a great nanny. They insist that they simply didn't realize that they didn't need me at all in July but that I was welcome come back in August to do the part time after school hours for them. Asking me to come back for that really has me feeling like I was doing fine as an employee. Either they did know or they are just scatter brained. I have been sending out resumes like crazy and my husband has as well. He has a couple places interested in him right now so I'm hoping something works out soon. |
Anonymous
|
Tell them you are coming back in August, but find a new job and right before you are supposed to go back tell the you've changed your mind.
do it |
Anonymous
| I'm not 00:47 but I agree that its very odd that the old nanny will come back for a week to replace the existing nanny. This combined with going to daycare earlier all does signal that you are not the greatest nanny. It also sounds as if the parents are just being nice in offering you part time hours in August but they are prepared (and probably prefer) to use aftercare instead or get a part time sitter. They may think you are nice and safe and perfectly fine to do some sitting for another month in August but they are not overly impressed or thrilled with your daily performance. |
Anonymous
| PP I have been with this family for 3 years and the youngest is starting kindergarten as I stated in my original post and that's the only reason they need after school hours from me in August instead of full time care. Their previous nanny lives in the state they used to live in and is still close with the family. She has come every summer for a week since they moved. They aren't doing daycare and mom is adamant that if I don't want to do the part time hours then she will be finding another nanny and not daycare. The kids are involved in a lot of after school activities that she would like for them to be able to continue doing. Thanks for making assumptions though and for clearly not reading through my first post or any subsequent posts. Your kind of response is why I am really starting to dislike DCUM all together. |