Nanny asked for large loan

[Anonymous]

These cheap nannies are no bargain in the long run. When do we learn?

[Anonymous]

While I agree with PPs that this is inappropriate behavior, her financial issues don't have to be indicative of "drug problems" or a "scam." Of course this can be the case, but there are a variety of other reasons that can account for her financial troubles. Perhaps her child or a close family member has been involved in an accident or has become seriously ill and requires expensive medical treatment.

At any rate, if she's been great with the children thus far, and you like her well enough, then it would be best to sit down with her and discuss the circumstances surrounding her request for the previous advances and her current request for the loan. It could be that she really needs the money for a sincere and innocent reason, and not for something vile and atrocious.

Sympathize with her circumstances, and explain to her that you're simply not capable, or comfortable, with continuing to advance her money, and offer to help her find assistance elsewhere if she really is in a bind.

Honestly, it would suck if you fired her and she really did need this position to aid in the medical situation of her child or relative, or for some other serious reason.

For nanny/employer, the relationship is much more personal than the employer/employee relationship developed in any other field of work. So, while you're not "responsible for her personal well-being," it's simply in good taste to take some level of interest in her life and well being, as she's playing an enormous role in your life by caring for your children.

In short, sit down with her. Discuss her reasons for needing this loan and the previous advances. If you find her reasons to your satisfaction, then explain to her that you're not comfortable with advancing money/giving out loans, but that you'll be more than happy to offer her help in any other way you can (e.g. offering her "date-night" babysitting, etc.)

Good luck!

[Anonymous]

The fact she even asked is crazy. Definitely say no. I'd also either pay her better or find someone more financially stable, with a better grasp of professional behavior!

[Anonymous]

I've been working since I was 12, and working on the books since I was 14. I would NEVER have the balls to ask an employer for an advance or a loan. My personal finances are not my employer's problem or business.

OP, say no kindly but firmly. Say no and begin looking for a new nanny.

[Anonymous]

That's what happens when you hire irresponsible help. What do you expect?

[Anonymous]

That's a lot of money to ask for from an employer. The fact that she's asking at all is a red flag. Asking so soon after hire? Huge red flag!

Tell her you can't or can't afford it, offer her extra hours if you can afford that.

It's not your responsibility and you don't owe her an apology or explanation.

[Anonymous]

It's plain stupid to keep such an irresponsible person. When do we learn? Wait for more of the same?
Ok, if you have to keep her, make her your assistant, but NOT your replacement during your absence.

[Anonymous]

Nanny here. This is inappropriate. If I found myself in a position where I needed extra money, I would have a conversation with my employer and make it known I was available for extra hours on evenings and weekends. If they wanted to take me up on it, great. If not, I would find another source of income for the money I needed.

I have been with my family for over 3 years. We have an excellent relationship and I would still have a very difficult time asking to borrow a large sum of money even though I know they would lend it to me without a second thought.

I certainly wouldn't ask after such a short time.

[Anonymous]

Wow - sounds like my first and only nanny when my husband and I were sucker first-time nanny employers. Even though I am sure there are great ones out there, I will never hire another nanny for fear of the remote possibility of dealing with those issues again, though I would be a much different kind of employer after that experience. Soon she will be hinting about other expenses that she has and wants you to cover, there will be elaborate stories that require days off, etc. It's the beginning of a slippery slope. You will do/give her whatever she wants because you'll want the person taking care of your child to be happy. She'll continue pushing the envelope until you eventually reach a breaking point. Get out now and start over, or choose daycare and you'll never have to deal with this again.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:These cheap nannies are no bargain in the long run. When do we learn?

+1

OP, I can't imagine that your price-point is right if this was the best nanny you interviewed in your search. This is completely unacceptable, inappropriate, and you should fire her immediately. I don't often advocate for that but this is going nowhere good - raise your hourly pay a little bit, search again, and find someone responsible and dependable.

[Anonymous]

Daycare has it's own host of problems, like the kids (2 and 3 year olds) taking a neighborhood walk, with no teacher in sight. There is no easy solution here with child care.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Daycare has it's own host of problems, like the kids (2 and 3 year olds) taking a neighborhood walk, with no teacher in sight. There is no easy solution here with child care.

don't be silly. 2 and 3 yr old in day care do not walk by themselves in any neighborhood. have you ever seen something like that? if so, I am sure you stopped the kids, called the police immediately and stayed with them until the police arrived. I am also sure the daycare lost the license if they let the kids go out like that alone. my kids have been going to days care since 2005 (the youngest is in her last year), and nothing similar to that has ever happened.

[Anonymous]

Daycare sucks!! I worked in daycare as a staff and as a director..even the highest quality programs don't give you near as much attention and focus on your kids as a nanny

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Daycare has it's own host of problems, like the kids (2 and 3 year olds) taking a neighborhood walk, with no teacher in sight. There is no easy solution here with child care.

don't be silly. 2 and 3 yr old in day care do not walk by themselves in any neighborhood. have you ever seen something like that? if so, I am sure you stopped the kids, called the police immediately and stayed with them until the police arrived. I am also sure the daycare lost the license if they let the kids go out like that alone. my kids have been going to days care since 2005 (the youngest is in her last year), and nothing similar to that has ever happened.

As long as you keep calling people names, you should be a big girl and shut up and take it when people call you names back.
Or you can stop it, and make some effort to engage yourself in some adult conversation.

[Anonymous]

PP, where do you see the name calling?