S/O - How do you deal with a "difficult" baby in a nanny share?

[Anonymous]

I had one baby like this when I was doing a share.

I just talked to him calmly, narrated what I was doing, and made him wait until I could handle what he needed or wanted. It got better with time, especially once he could communicate a little bit better (I used ASL with both babies).

I also sleep trained both babies. Having been stuck with an infant who could only be walked for HOURS before finally taking a 15 minute nap and who was chronically overtired before I was not going to let that happen again. I talked with both parents and we set up a routine/schedule and I sleep trained them both. Both were sleep trained a little bit differently, but it did happen. IMO if you're doing a nanny share, the babies have to be sleep trained.

[Anonymous]

I am so glad I am not the only one with this problem!

[Anonymous]

I had a very similar problem when my nanny share first started. The baby from the other house would cry if I walked where she couldn't see me, would only sleep in the pushchair. Would cry in the high chair. Basically the only place she was happy was in the sling (not practical) for changing and carrying the other baby, or near the stove/ oven) and during the two half hour naps she managed during the day. Her crying at lunch/ dinner would also upset the other baby and then I had two crying babies. The needy baby was calmer at her own house, but not always super calm.

On the days where the needy baby was at the share house I would finish the day and be so tired and ready for silence. I decided to be honest with the parents (both sets) and say that I was having a tough time. I tried all the tricks I knew, asked everyone for advice and things to try, and while the needy baby got a little better was still really tough to have in the share. In the end her mom decided that the baby needed one on one care and decided to back out of the share. I thought I would be really upset about it (and while I do miss the baby especially on the days when I went to her house and she was less needy) I felt really relieved that I wouldn't have to listen to 10 hours crying.

[Anonymous]

I would suggest to the "needy baby" parents that they need to get a full-time nanny for themselves. That will either get them to seek the help they need or they will try harder to work with you to lessen the needy baby's needs.

[Anonymous]

Hey! I know these posts are from four years back, and you may not see this... but in the off chance did the screaming baby get better? Was it just a phase? Did nanny decide to stay in difficult situation? I am a mother going through a similar situation: my nanny is concerned about our share situation. She explained that the other baby has continued to scream all day long, causing her to focus more attention on screaming baby and less on my calm baby. Nanny is trying her best but the constant crying and screams are starting to upset my baby and detract from her care, while it is driving nanny a bit bonkers. My nanny is very happy with my baby, they are very close, and the other baby can be sweet. We don't want to dissolve the share, but not sure how to proceed. What can parents do? Tricks nanny can do?

[Anonymous]

Interesting how nannies are so quick to blame the parents for the behavior of their babies, even though the nannies probably spend more time with the babies than the parents do. You would think with all of their training in child development, a nanny would understand something called temperament.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Interesting how nannies are so quick to blame the parents for the behavior of their babies, even though the nannies probably spend more time with the babies than the parents do. You would think with all of their training in child development, a nanny would understand something called temperament.

Agreed, given how all the nannies here pride themselves on their child development skills and are professionals and make $25/hr.