Dating and boyfriends locally?

[Anonymous]

oh boy- haven't even read the responses but was eager to respond. my last au pair-- this -- she joined multiple online dating sites, and was seriously dating a local guy 2 months after arriving in the US. then they were engaged by 6 months from her arrival. she actually wanted to quit and get married to get her greencard- but then she changed her mind and we all decided she would stay with us for the remainder of the year. then they broke up- then she wanted to extend for a year with us- but we had already matched with somebody else...anyway, i'm not entirely certain, but i believe she did have at least one boyfriend at the end of our year. recently saw her- and she is back with the original guy. yes her friends all have local bfs too.

i spoke to my LC about it, and to her. i just explained how i worried about her safety- but that her time off is hers- and she can do as she pleases with her time off. but we had to create a new rule- no boys, no exceptions. (he wanted to spend the night one night, and subsequently, he met her at the playground while she was with our kids). SO especially while you are working- NO BOYS.

anyway, also the whole greencard/quitting thing was extremely stressful- one minute she was quitting, the next she was staying-- -her mind was elsewhere....not focused on her job at all. also i was always not sure of her true intentions of coming to the US....

i have to add that the au pair before her also met someone local and IS married and supposedly does have her greencard now.....

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:oh boy- haven't even read the responses but was eager to respond. my last au pair-- this -- she joined multiple online dating sites, and was seriously dating a local guy 2 months after arriving in the US. then they were engaged by 6 months from her arrival. she actually wanted to quit and get married to get her greencard- but then she changed her mind and we all decided she would stay with us for the remainder of the year. then they broke up- then she wanted to extend for a year with us- but we had already matched with somebody else...anyway, i'm not entirely certain, but i believe she did have at least one boyfriend at the end of our year. recently saw her- and she is back with the original guy. yes her friends all have local bfs too.

i spoke to my LC about it, and to her. i just explained how i worried about her safety- but that her time off is hers- and she can do as she pleases with her time off. but we had to create a new rule- no boys, no exceptions. (he wanted to spend the night one night, and subsequently, he met her at the playground while she was with our kids). SO especially while you are working- NO BOYS.

anyway, also the whole greencard/quitting thing was extremely stressful- one minute she was quitting, the next she was staying-- -her mind was elsewhere....not focused on her job at all. also i was always not sure of her true intentions of coming to the US....

i have to add that the au pair before her also met someone local and IS married and supposedly does have her greencard now.....

me again- and by no boys, no exceptions - this was regarding during work hours, and even on her time off she was not allowed to have boys over to our house. just wanted to clarify.

[Anonymous]

Good luck. Young ladies are young ladies. Didn't they come here primarily to experience the American life-style? Anyhow, at the very least, your experience with the young women gives you a glimpse of what lies ahead, with your own children. You may want to reconsider your parenting style.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Good luck. Young ladies are young ladies. Didn't they come here primarily to experience the American life-style? Anyhow, at the very least, your experience with the young women gives you a glimpse of what lies ahead, with your own children. You may want to reconsider your parenting style.

super- why don't you tell me what to do then. TIA!

[Anonymous]

That's why they come here.

Even if it's not, they don't want to be lonely & want male attention. You can't blame them. Many are attracted to american men...just like many americans find italian or irish men sexy, etc

MYOB

[Anonymous]

I've had 5 German Au pairs and none have ever dated. Well, One of them one night had a boy over to watch tv. He was an intern and clearly wanted "more". Never saw him again after that night - clearly he struck out haha.