Left With Very Hurt Feelings:(

[Anonymous]

10:45, if your family's needs change, you sit down and have a professional discussion with your nanny. If your nanny is also professional but is not willing to take on extra non-child related duties, then it is time to part ways amicably. This depends on BOTH parties. No one is forced to keep a nanny, they usually do so because they are too lazy to do the work to find a new one (who isn't really a nanny but a housekeeper who watches the kids from time to time). Clear communication is key. Your reasoning is a very poor excuse for rude, ungrateful behavior. The OP worked and lived in their home for 5 years; how bad could she have been?

[Anonymous]

New poster here. Again, nannies do not appreciate now resentful families can feel about a nanny not working out. Think about it this way. Your family grew to hate you and decided to let you go but gave you plenty of notice and was not hostile to you. Does that help you understand where they were coming from?

Imagine a scenario where you went to a salon and you paid hundreds and they gave you something you hate. What can you do. Yes you SHOULD talk to them and give them a chance to fix it but most people just prefer to take their hair and pay more money to someone more competent. You were the hairdresser and your family paid you enough money for not one bad cut but a few bad cuts/ colors a week. Your hairis personal but having someone in your house is much much more personal. If you can imagine a bad haircut, multiply the anger by a 100 and you can see how the family must feel. You have some idea that your client didn't like your work but you have no idea of the anguish the client is feeling.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:New poster here. Again, nannies do not appreciate now resentful families can feel about a nanny not working out. Think about it this way. Your family grew to hate you and decided to let you go but gave you plenty of notice and was not hostile to you. Does that help you understand where they were coming from?

Imagine a scenario where you went to a salon and you paid hundreds and they gave you something you hate. What can you do. Yes you SHOULD talk to them and give them a chance to fix it but most people just prefer to take their hair and pay more money to someone more competent. You were the hairdresser and your family paid you enough money for not one bad cut but a few bad cuts/ colors a week. Your hairis personal but having someone in your house is much much more personal. If you can imagine a bad haircut, multiply the anger by a 100 and you can see how the family must feel. You have some idea that your client didn't like your work but you have no idea of the anguish the client is feeling.

Wow, you really have issues to try and take this problem and turn it into that.

I would bet the OP's family was indifferent at best- hate certainly does not apply or they would have rushed her and her stuff out of their house much faster. They also would have never wanted to be there at all while she was. Nothing about this scenario implies hate- it implies really thoughtless employers who likely felt they had met their professional obligations and were done. But nannies are far more personal than an assistant, they deserve better treatment than the OP got- especially after 5 plus years. You can spin this to be the OP's "fault" however you wish, but the reality and common sense dictates it was not. It's a mix of thoughtlessness and communication issues re: what was expected at the end of the job. She wasn't asking for a gift, just to be treated kindly after taking very good care of their children for years. To imply they did not treat her kindly because they hated her is both stupid and obnoxious.

[Anonymous]

Yes, nanny family relationships are extremely extremely personal and to think this family was indifferent is delusional.

[Anonymous]

I am sorry OP that this happened to you. That must of been weird to not be invited to the dinner on your last night. Did you normaly eat with the family? Even if you did not you should have been included, especially because it was your last night with them. What is wrong with these people? I am sure they didn't hate you as a PP said. Just because their needs were going to change, doesn't mean that you didn't do a great job with raising their kids well.

Why did you stay the extra 2 months if you had to interview in NY and they wouldn't let you take the time. They should have had at least promised you a retention bonus. Did you at least get a good reference?

I always have had a nice goodbye with my nanny families. Always a dinner out, a framed photo of me and the kiddos, sentimental words, and sometimes a Tiffany's necklace and bonus. But I have never stayed at one job for more than 1.5 years. I can't imagine how nasty it must have felt to not get anything after 5.5 years, insane.

[Anonymous]

I don't get it, OP. You are disappointed that you didn't get a party because you expected and believed you deserved a party. Is that it? Because I think I should get a party every time I complete a project on time because I work hard and endure stress to complete the project on time and I do excellent work. Guess what? No one ever throws me a party for doing my job.

You're an employee. You reached the end of your employment agreement. You left. End of story.

[Anonymous]

Um...PP... I guess no one ever appreciated you at your job too. You sound sad sweetie. Perhaps if someone appreciated you at some point in your career you would feel different poor thing! In the real world it is customary to show appreciation through kind words, money, thoughtful gift, or sitting down to a meal.

You probably don't get anything either at your birthday right? In your pathetic reasoning, why should you? You did nothing to diserve anything, but get born right?

You are propably not from this country, or even this planet sweetie... But in this culture you are customarily given something in terms of a dinner, cake, drinks, gifts, money if you are a great nanny who looked after children for such a long time.

OP, giving you hugs! That must have stung! Boo on your ex-employers! Never mind these ignorant, idiotic, selfish PP's...It's scary that they are parents. Feel very bad for the kids. They probably never get taken out for ice-scream after getting on the honor roll. If the Moronic PP's are nannies...I suggest parents never hire these nannies. They sound uncaring, selfish, and hold resentment that might result in a double homicide...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don't get it, OP. You are disappointed that you didn't get a party because you expected and believed you deserved a party. Is that it? Because I think I should get a party every time I complete a project on time because I work hard and endure stress to complete the project on time and I do excellent work. Guess what? No one ever throws me a party for doing my job.

You're an employee. You reached the end of your employment agreement. You left. End of story.

Dude, you sound like a resentful anti-nanny bitch.

[Anonymous]

Um...PP... I guess no one ever appreciated you at your job too. You sound sad sweetie. Perhaps if someone appreciated you at some point in your career you would feel different poor thing! In the real world it is customary to show appreciation through kind words, money, thoughtful gift, or sitting down to a meal.

You probably don't get anything either at your birthday right? In your pathetic reasoning, why should you? You did nothing to diserve anything, but get born right?

You are propably not from this country, or even this planet sweetie... But in this culture you are customarily given something in terms of a dinner, cake, drinks, gifts, money if you are a great nanny who looked after children for such a long time.

OP, giving you hugs! That must have stung! Boo on your ex-employers! Never mind these ignorant, idiotic, selfish PP's...It's scary that they are parents. Feel very bad for the kids. They probably never get taken out for ice-scream after getting on the honor roll. If the Moronic PP's are nannies...I suggest parents never hire these nannies. They sound uncaring, selfish, and hold resentment that might result in a double homicide...

Nice try with the excessively patronizing use of the 'sweetie' and trying to insult me personally with the birthday and, oh my favorite, insinuations that I'm not familiar with this culture. All that shows one thing only, that you are one completely ugly and insulting bitch. You also apparently are not very smart and have little experience in the 'real world', but hey, when you are as mean and ugly as you are, I guess stupid is not so much a negative.

No, in the 'real world' people are shown appreciation on a regular basis. It's called a paycheck. Maybe, they do something extraordinary, and they may get what is called a bonus, although, in this economy, that is rare. In this culture, it is not customary to get dinners, cakes, drinks, and gifts for doing your job. Only nannies seem to feel this entitled, which is completely crazy considering nannying is a low skill profession.

Seriously, devote yourself to cultivating a more professional attitude, because the nasty personality you show here will likely get you fired.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Um...PP... I guess no one ever appreciated you at your job too. You sound sad sweetie. Perhaps if someone appreciated you at some point in your career you would feel different poor thing! In the real world it is customary to show appreciation through kind words, money, thoughtful gift, or sitting down to a meal.

You probably don't get anything either at your birthday right? In your pathetic reasoning, why should you? You did nothing to diserve anything, but get born right?

You are propably not from this country, or even this planet sweetie... But in this culture you are customarily given something in terms of a dinner, cake, drinks, gifts, money if you are a great nanny who looked after children for such a long time.

OP, giving you hugs! That must have stung! Boo on your ex-employers! Never mind these ignorant, idiotic, selfish PP's...It's scary that they are parents. Feel very bad for the kids. They probably never get taken out for ice-scream after getting on the honor roll. If the Moronic PP's are nannies...I suggest parents never hire these nannies. They sound uncaring, selfish, and hold resentment that might result in a double homicide...

You seem like a fun person. You obviously hate nannies, I think you're the same person who spouts about how dumb, useless, and lazy nannies are on every post. It's fine to feel that way, I assume you had a bad experience? I think it would best if you just leave the nanny discussions to nannies and parents/guardians with nannies. You are coming across as a very negative as resentful person.

Also, did you really just call an anonymous person on the Internet ugly? What are you 12?
Nice try with the excessively patronizing use of the 'sweetie' and trying to insult me personally with the birthday and, oh my favorite, insinuations that I'm not familiar with this culture. All that shows one thing only, that you are one completely ugly and insulting bitch. You also apparently are not very smart and have little experience in the 'real world', but hey, when you are as mean and ugly as you are, I guess stupid is not so much a negative.

No, in the 'real world' people are shown appreciation on a regular basis. It's called a paycheck. Maybe, they do something extraordinary, and they may get what is called a bonus, although, in this economy, that is rare. In this culture, it is not customary to get dinners, cakes, drinks, and gifts for doing your job. Only nannies seem to feel this entitled, which is completely crazy considering nannying is a low skill profession.

Seriously, devote yourself to cultivating a more professional attitude, because the nasty personality you show here will likely get you fired.

[Anonymous]

Holy hell PP!!! PMS Much??? You are not normal. Stop trolling these boards, you are scary. Cause you are calling the nanny profession "low skill", your children must be in serious danger. You must have a very low skill person looking after your kids, as a parent, don't you care about your kids?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Holy hell PP!!! PMS Much??? You are not normal. Stop trolling these boards, you are scary. Cause you are calling the nanny profession "low skill", your children must be in serious danger. You must have a very low skill person looking after your kids, as a parent, don't you care about your kids?

+1

[Anonymous]

Just went through the same thing, kind of. I was a nanny for almost 18 months with a family. They were moving out of state and said they wouldn't need me any more. They told me 1 month prior. They begged me to stay for the month. I did. On my last day, I took the kids out for special Frozen yogurt. The kids told their mom, and she flipped! At the end of my last day I gave hugs to the kids, loads of tears. I went to MB's home office to say good-bye. I stood at her door and said goodbye, and she barley looked up and said, "bye, I will mail you your last pay check". I left in tears. I expected at least a hug, cake, cards or something!
MB texted later that night and asked me to come in the next morning for a minute, and to drop off the key I forgot to give back yesterday.
I thought that this would be my suprise good-bye party, and MB would appologize for yelling about the froyo. But no, she just wanted the key.

[Anonymous]

I think the sobering reality is this: nannies, au pairs, domestic help, etc. are NEVER 'real' members of their employers'/hosts' families. They are employees, bottom line, and treated as such, especially at the end. And the charges, MB/DB, etc. are NEVER actually part of the caregivers' family!
You all go on with your lives and with time and perspective, learn that the one-time strength of the 'relationship' is not lasting in the big picture.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Um...PP... I guess no one ever appreciated you at your job too. You sound sad sweetie. Perhaps if someone appreciated you at some point in your career you would feel different poor thing! In the real world it is customary to show appreciation through kind words, money, thoughtful gift, or sitting down to a meal.

You probably don't get anything either at your birthday right? In your pathetic reasoning, why should you? You did nothing to diserve anything, but get born right?

You are propably not from this country, or even this planet sweetie... But in this culture you are customarily given something in terms of a dinner, cake, drinks, gifts, money if you are a great nanny who looked after children for such a long time.

OP, giving you hugs! That must have stung! Boo on your ex-employers! Never mind these ignorant, idiotic, selfish PP's...It's scary that they are parents. Feel very bad for the kids. They probably never get taken out for ice-scream after getting on the honor roll. If the Moronic PP's are nannies...I suggest parents never hire these nannies. They sound uncaring, selfish, and hold resentment that might result in a double homicide...

This is one of those instances, PP, when less is more.