Anonymous wrote:I think if you were in her shoes your behaviors may be wacky, too. Have some more empathy.

She was outside of her normal routine and comfort zone. Her behavior in a rental house that she was sharing with another family was probably not like her behavior in her own home, where she is in full control of her behavior and environment.

Maybe she learned that renting a house with others is a bad fit. But again, your reaction is less than empathetic.

Anonymous wrote:I don’t know how to post this without sounding like a completely condescending asshole, but hear me out.

Because I can’t relate firsthand, I don’t know if this is typical or if it’s extreme anxiety. My school aged nephew is allergic to pretty much everything. He’s basically the boy from My Girl but with the modern convenience of readily available epinephrine. I’m NOT trying to minimize this, please don’t misconstrue, but I am worried about my sister as he gets older, because you’d think she would relax a little?

It seems the older he gets, the more obsessed she becomes. We took a little long weekend this summer with them to a rental, and I’m not kidding when I say every thing we did revolves around my nephew and his safety. Our kids weren’t allowed to get ice cream on the boardwalk because it may have been contaminated and could remain on their lips. Food couldn’t be placed in the pantry because someone may have had PB in there previously. When we ate at a burger joint, she was really upset we all didn’t omit cheese, because traces could linger on our fingers and we may touch something he might put in his mouth.

But it’s weird because she didn’t worry at the little playground where people were openly picnicking, that a kid could have eaten a PBJ and not washed his hands before touching the same monkey bars my nephew was. Does that make sense?

Is this normal or is this something I should talk to my BIL about? He sees it but acts like it’s normal. And maybe it is normal. If it is, by all means put me in my place!

Anonymous wrote:Yeah, as an allergy parent, even one who's fairly low-key, there's nothing totally rational about it. It's all about what you can and can't control.

When we rented a house with family, it was still scary when my niece wanted to have PB sandwich, or someone bought sesame bagels to toast in the same toaster we'd use for my kid's toast. But, at the playground, you just don't have that control (though I did leave a playground once when I saw someone feeding their kid Bamba; it blew my mind). We try to be fairly low key so we don't create fear of food in my kid.

It's also about fitting in. It's pretty shitty for an allergy kid to see everyone enjoying ice cream from a shop if they can't too. They will get used to being left out in certain situations, like birthday parties, but when it's just family you feel like everyone should consider making a sacrifice so your kid doesn't feel so left out. Again, it's not entirely rational; it's 90% just personal feelings and being heartbroken and scared for your kid all. the. freaking. time.

Best thing we've done is go through Oral Immunotherapy. My peanut allergic kid eats 8 peanuts a day now and we're about to start on tree nuts.

Anonymous wrote:If its serious enough, yes, it makes sense but why on earth would you bring nuts to a house where you know a child is allergic. You sound like part of the problem.

Anonymous wrote:Yeah, as an allergy parent, even one who's fairly low-key, there's nothing totally rational about it. It's all about what you can and can't control.

When we rented a house with family, it was still scary when my niece wanted to have PB sandwich, or someone bought sesame bagels to toast in the same toaster we'd use for my kid's toast. But, at the playground, you just don't have that control (though I did leave a playground once when I saw someone feeding their kid Bamba; it blew my mind). We try to be fairly low key so we don't create fear of food in my kid.

It's also about fitting in. It's pretty shitty for an allergy kid to see everyone enjoying ice cream from a shop if they can't too. They will get used to being left out in certain situations, like birthday parties, but when it's just family you feel like everyone should consider making a sacrifice so your kid doesn't feel so left out. Again, it's not entirely rational; it's 90% just personal feelings and being heartbroken and scared for your kid all. the. freaking. time.

Best thing we've done is go through Oral Immunotherapy. My peanut allergic kid eats 8 peanuts a day now and we're about to start on tree nuts.

Anonymous wrote:I have a kid with a severe anaphylactic allergy to peanuts and tree nuts. She almost died the summer before 3rd grade because she ate candy that was cross-contaminated because it had been produced in a facility where nut products were processed. She was rushed to the hospital in an ambulance.
It's terrifying, especially as she gets older and heads out into the world without me.

You should know that sometimes Epipens don't stop the reaction, and kids die.

You don't say what the nephew's allergy is, but I assume it's dairy. If his allergy to dairy is severe enough, then ice cream or cheese residue on the hands or lips of his family indeed could be dangerous (if you eat ice cream and then kiss him, touch him, or prepare other food, he would react, potentially die). If she wasn't worried at the playground, perhaps it's because her son isn't as seriously allergic to peanut butter or nuts, or other food likely to be on the monkey bars.

I would be furious if my family disregarded my daughter's safety by eating her allergen around her and making a big deal about my request for safety precautions. From my perspective, you (as family) did not do enough to find out about the severity of his allergies or how you could ensure his safety. If you are sharing a house and vacationing with them, you needed to have a conversation about this. If this means you go get ice cream without them, then wash your hands thoroughly and brush your teeth before having contact with your nephew, this is what you needed to do - not come on here and grouse about how she's mental because she wanted to make sure her son didn't accidentally die on vacation.

Anonymous wrote:I have a kid with a severe anaphylactic allergy to peanuts and tree nuts. She almost died the summer before 3rd grade because she ate candy that was cross-contaminated because it had been produced in a facility where nut products were processed. She was rushed to the hospital in an ambulance.
It's terrifying, especially as she gets older and heads out into the world without me.

You should know that sometimes Epipens don't stop the reaction, and kids die.

You don't say what the nephew's allergy is, but I assume it's dairy. If his allergy to dairy is severe enough, then ice cream or cheese residue on the hands or lips of his family indeed could be dangerous (if you eat ice cream and then kiss him, touch him, or prepare other food, he would react, potentially die). If she wasn't worried at the playground, perhaps it's because her son isn't as seriously allergic to peanut butter or nuts, or other food likely to be on the monkey bars.

I would be furious if my family disregarded my daughter's safety by eating her allergen around her and making a big deal about my request for safety precautions. From my perspective, you (as family) did not do enough to find out about the severity of his allergies or how you could ensure his safety. If you are sharing a house and vacationing with them, you needed to have a conversation about this. If this means you go get ice cream without them, then wash your hands thoroughly and brush your teeth before having contact with your nephew, this is what you needed to do - not come on here and grouse about how she's mental because she wanted to make sure her son didn't accidentally die on vacation.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have a kid with a severe anaphylactic allergy to peanuts and tree nuts. She almost died the summer before 3rd grade because she ate candy that was cross-contaminated because it had been produced in a facility where nut products were processed. She was rushed to the hospital in an ambulance.
It's terrifying, especially as she gets older and heads out into the world without me.

You should know that sometimes Epipens don't stop the reaction, and kids die.

You don't say what the nephew's allergy is, but I assume it's dairy. If his allergy to dairy is severe enough, then ice cream or cheese residue on the hands or lips of his family indeed could be dangerous (if you eat ice cream and then kiss him, touch him, or prepare other food, he would react, potentially die). If she wasn't worried at the playground, perhaps it's because her son isn't as seriously allergic to peanut butter or nuts, or other food likely to be on the monkey bars.

I would be furious if my family disregarded my daughter's safety by eating her allergen around her and making a big deal about my request for safety precautions. From my perspective, you (as family) did not do enough to find out about the severity of his allergies or how you could ensure his safety. If you are sharing a house and vacationing with them, you needed to have a conversation about this. If this means you go get ice cream without them, then wash your hands thoroughly and brush your teeth before having contact with your nephew, this is what you needed to do - not come on here and grouse about how she's mental because she wanted to make sure her son didn't accidentally die on vacation.

I have never heard of a dairy allergy that was triggered by skin contact.