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Would You Have Said Something?
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maynie
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| I would've said something to both of them. |
Anonymous
|
HELLOOO,
DH and aunt are both irresponsible addicts and if you want to continue being married to this man and protect your children you need to put your foot down. Now. Untreated addicts only worsen over time. This means: 1. telling auntie that she is not welcome in your house or near your family while she continues offering drugs. Find out if others have been drug providers/enablers. 2. seeking support from influential family members or intimate friends to "intervene" with your DH about his drug problem. Handle with care as obviously DH will feel his privacy is violated. 3. get DH to the appropriate counseling pronto! He has an alcohol problem compounded with other drugs? He needs help! I know it is much easier to bury your head in the sand rather than deal with an irate spouse. But it is worse suffering the abuse that will inevitable ensue should he not get help right now. And I am sorry to say it is better leaving such a man than living with him if he refuses to help himself. As for your specific question, I would explain that you understand he felt diminished by your outburst, but extreme concern about his addiction made you lash out at auntie without warning him beforehand. That you realize you have been enabling his addiction in the past, and that from now on you will stop at nothing to help him get over this. Good luck. |
Anonymous
I did, for sure. |
Anonymous
| You were right. Your hub's an addict? Sounds like he's not standing up for himself. He might need therapy, AA, something? |
Anonymous
Just snooped through his things and found something I didn't want to find. And I think I just died inside a little. And I have no idea what to do. I can't stop crying. |
Anonymous
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Re: 12:29 post ~
You can make a call to the DC hotline and ask to talk, just to get your ideas out of your head and into the phone. You might want to just go right away and make a plan to call AA or NA to ask about support groups for yourself? Good luck with this. I believe it is best to deal with something like this head on. |
Anonymous
I can't make any calls right now while he is here. He is asleep in the house. I don't want to wake anyone. But it is apparent he is buying drugs from someone and I want to DIE. DIE. DIE. I had no idea it was this bad. Holy F*ck. What do I do? Worse than alcohol, worse than vicodin. |
Anonymous
I'm sorry, OP. I think what I would do, in your place, is take pictures of the drugs, then throw the drugs all away. E-mail the pics to yourself so you have a copy away from the house. Keep the pics for future use if you actually get divorced and need them for custody purposes. Throw the drugs away because they are a danger to your kids. Confront your husband in the morning and tell him drug/alcohol use is unacceptable. I'd give him one shot to change/get help in a meaningful way, like drug rehab, NA/AA, counseling. Work with him/be supportive, but stand by what you say. If he does it again, he has to leave the house. And then scratch all of that if you think he'd react violently to your throwing his drugs out, etc. I just thought of that....don't put yourself in danger. Definitely call someone on the outside of this. Al-anon, narcotics anonymous, a close friend. Don't keep this all to yourself. Hang in there. |
Anonymous
| Best of luck to you, OP. You'll be strong for your child's sake and do what you have to do to protect him/her, with or without your husband if necessary. |
Anonymous
| When I asked him about it I got "that is old", blah blah blah, which is bullshit. I just feel like someone stabbed me and I don't know what to do. This happens on tv, not to me in real life. I can't even think straight right now. |
Anonymous
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OP- please seek outside (not family/friend) but professional outside assistance on what to do next. You'll find the strength, but you have to do what is best for your children AND yourself.
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Anonymous
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OP, throw the drugs away
and tell him, if any more enter the home, HE will have to leave and mean it |
Anonymous
How does she force him to leave? |
Anonymous
He has a serious drug problem not isolated to this issue. I would have to disagree and say THIS is the last straw. I'm not saying this isn't salvageable. But the problem is clearly not getting better only worse for her. For now I'd recommend leaving with the children if you can't get him to leave/rehab. |
Anonymous
Tell him that she will call the cops. |