He wants me to want to.

post reply Forum Index » Relationship Discussion (non-explicit)
[Post New]06/17/2018 17:01
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Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:Jesus. You are three months post partum. You have four kids under seven. Yet you are still finding the energy to have sex with him once or twice a week and he's complaining and making you feel guilty that you aren't into it enough? My god.


Also surprised. This guy has it good.
[Post New]06/17/2018 17:27
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Anonymous
He's a jerk and you are an idiot for not telling him how you feel about satisfying his sexual needs so soon after third child. Get him some hard core porn videos and introduce him to his hand!
[Post New]06/17/2018 17:33
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Anonymous
Have you had a blunt conversation with him? I would say something along the lines of:

"Look, I love you and I want to have sex with you because you want it and it's good for our relationship. When you critique my performance and act guilty, it makes me feel frustrated. Either accept that I'm choosing to do this, and until my hormones are back to normal this is how it is, or choose to go without sex, but don't make me feel bad for what I'm doing for you!"
[Post New]06/17/2018 17:37
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Anonymous
Sounds like you want you to want it too but HORMONES.

He needs to grow up and suffer through duty sex or wait until you are horny again. My DH got this and took the easy way out - duty better than none.
[Post New]06/17/2018 17:40
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Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:Jesus. You are three months post partum. You have four kids under seven. Yet you are still finding the energy to have sex with him once or twice a week and he's complaining and making you feel guilty that you aren't into it enough? My god.

This.

I think he is an ass.
[Post New]06/17/2018 17:47
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Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:Jesus. You are three months post partum. You have four kids under seven. Yet you are still finding the energy to have sex with him once or twice a week and he's complaining and making you feel guilty that you aren't into it enough? My god.


+1
[Post New]06/17/2018 18:33
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Anonymous
Must be one of the Duggars posting. How’s Arkansas this time of year?
[Post New]06/17/2018 18:45
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Anonymous
DCUM is the worst place for advice. If OP actually followed some of the suggestions here, it would wreck her marriage.
[Post New]06/17/2018 20:17
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Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:Men just don’t get it. Women need to be seduced. Let HIM work on that.


This is ridiculous. There is no seducing a woman 3 months after birth with a bunch of other little kids. She doesn't want it. He doesn't want it if she doesn't want it. Just let sex go for awhile. If her sex drive doesn't bounce back, either live without it, open the marriage, or get a divorce.
[Post New]06/17/2018 20:40
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Roar
Member Offline
Suggest you start talking dirty in bed and stroke his undercarriage during missionary. He'll finish in 1/2 the time. Guaranteed.
[Post New]06/17/2018 20:49
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Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:Your husband should not worry that you’re not into it right now. Women are beautifully designed to not get preggers too soon after previous baby. The hormonal balance ensures it. Look it up and tell him the science at work here. You want to keep up the habit, that’s your call, but he can either live with your low libido or take care of himself.


Actually it’s far easier to get pregnant immediately after birthing. Even when the desire isn’t there. It’s really important to use birth control even if your period hasn’t returned. You can be fertile without bleeding.
[Post New]06/17/2018 20:53
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Anonymous
Geez OP I would think I wrote this except I only have two and my younger one is 4 months. We have sex 2x/week because I make myself do the chore. He complains endlessly (“I don’t even remember the last time” — I do, it was Thursday night — or “I’ve gotten used to not having sex so just don’t even worry about it”). He’s being a dick and I hate that my libido is in the toilet. So no real advice, just commiserating. Sigh. These MFers are so ungrateful.
[Post New]06/17/2018 20:58
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Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:Men just don’t get it. Women need to be seduced. Let HIM work on that.


That doesn’t work if the hormones aren’t right.
[Post New]06/17/2018 21:17
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Anonymous
Honestly, OP, just ignore it. Yes, it's frustrating that he still wants more even though you're going well above and beyond what many other wives do. But what you're doing is good for your marriage long term and that's reason enough to do it. You guys just need to bear your own emotions and move forward.

Our third is almost 4 months and we just recently had sex for the first time since she was born, and it definitely had been a good long while before that too. I pretty much told DH that I wasn't that into it because HORMONES but was happy enough to do it anyway. I"m sure that didn't thrill him, but it is what it is. And it's not forever.
[Post New]06/17/2018 21:59
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Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:Jesus. You are three months post partum. You have four kids under seven. Yet you are still finding the energy to have sex with him once or twice a week and he's complaining and making you feel guilty that you aren't into it enough? My god.


+1. My relationship should be so lucky.
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