Anonymous wrote:You do realize that what your wife gave you, you couldn't get by yourself right? The kids. You can't have kids. I don't think that men are doing their wives any favor by supporting them post divorce. In every case, I see women come out poorer than the men. To me, it should be a fifty-fifty split since the most valuable asset in a marriage was brought to the table by the mother.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

taketothebank wrote:

I doubt they do. But at the same time, I am unclear on how negative an impact it has to model a relationship for them in which the mom and dad never talk, kiss, or act affectionate. And right now, DH goes out in the evenings to the gym or to visit his friends, so most nights he's not even home until 9pm. What would really be different if we got divorced, I wonder?

The economics of your life are likely to be very different post-divorce.

I made a deal with my EXDW to split my income for five years after our divorce (both kids are adults and I help them with graduate school, etc.) If we had gone to court, it is likely I would not have owed her as much support; however, she did stay home for a number of years with the kids and I wanted to make sure she got as good a start on single life as was possible.

One question. Have you considered the fact that your DH may be having an affair? The fact that he is out most nights until 9:00 pm without you (and not at work) seems like he might have something else going on. Best of luck to you.

You do realize that what your wife gave you, you couldn't get by yourself right? The kids. You can't have kids. I don't think that men are doing their wives any favor by supporting them post divorce. In every case, I see women come out poorer than the men. To me, it should be a fifty-fifty split since the most valuable asset in a marriage was brought to the table by the mother.

It actually sounds like he was pretty generous to her.

Anonymous wrote:I'm doing it. I've been married for 18 years, have two teenagers and had enough. I want to be happy. If I'm miserable with him, there is no sense for us to stay together. I would rather be happy by myself. I have friends all over the world, I want to travel and start on my bucket list. Now I just need 3K to pay my lawyer. I think if your asking the question, you already made up you mind, but whatever you decide, make sure it makes YOU happy. Life is too short. May the force be with you!

Anonymous wrote:I'm doing it. I've been married for 18 years, have two teenagers and had enough. I want to be happy. If I'm miserable with him, there is no sense for us to stay together. I would rather be happy by myself. I have friends all over the world, I want to travel and start on my bucket list. Now I just need 3K to pay my lawyer. I think if your asking the question, you already made up you mind, but whatever you decide, make sure it makes YOU happy. Life is too short. May the force be with you!

Kids can be screwed up in happy marriages and bad marriages. They can be fine in good divorces and hostile divorces. The variable is your relationship with your child -- which you can control -- not whether you are married or not.

Anonymous wrote:The women I know who've divorced at this age are often socially ostracized and end up regretting it. Why not just get on with your life and your friends? That's what I'm doing.

Anonymous wrote:OP don’t do it. There are so many risks.
Your kids could be subjected to cruel step parents.
Second spouses can take all of your money.
Your present spouse could remarry sooner to someone your kids like more than you.
Money.
Stresss.
More loneliness.
Friends could abandon you if they prefer your spouses company.