Should I get a divorce at 55
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Anonymous
| I am so over the disrespect and lack of intimacy in my relationship. My kids are still home. (Teens). We don’t fight but we don’t talk either. Strangers living together sharing the same bed. I feel fake and lonely. I am scared to divorce at my age. I do not want to be alone for the rest of my life but in a way I am already alone. |
Anonymous
| Do you work? Are you okay with the idea of being alone and not finding another significant other? If you are not scared of the financial impact, then I would say yes. You don't want to live the rest of your life (and there's still a lot of it) miserable each day. |
Anonymous
| A friend recently wed at 57 after a divorce at 55. She reconnected with a friend from college. They hadn’t date then, but both married college sweethearts. He was widowed. She divorced. They seem very happy. |
Anonymous
| Op, who's working? There's a lot of stress in your house .. you have teens ... if someone's working, that's stressful. Sounds like the way your DH deals with it is to shut down. I'd give him that. |
Anonymous
I just divorced at 52. I have no problem being by myself and really have no desire for another "significant other." Frankly, I was done with the constant disrespect, the fighting, the having to ask the SO for their input on virtually everything. No thank you anymore. Got my $500K of assets and off I went. Very happy indeed. |
Anonymous
Per Fidelity, you probably should have about 7x your salary in savings at your age. So your 500k supports about a 70k HHI lifestyle |
Anonymous
Doesn't include my pension. But you know what, staying with my toxic, abusive ex wife would have been worth me having a 0K HHI. I've run calculators and will be replacing about 80 percent of my income between my TSP, my Federal pension and social security. I am not worried. |
Anonymous
| Will you have the assets and the income to support yourself? I wouldn't worry about being lonely because you are now lonely and it can't get worse. Does it make sense to wait until you are an empty nester? |
Anonymous
Whatever you're feeling now, you'd probably feel worse when you're in a poorer financial situation post-divorce. At this age, why not just stay married? |
Anonymous
Because she has a third of her life left. My parents did this, and while it was a surprise to us kids, they both landed on their feet and remarried within 5 years and are very happy. |
Anonymous
Poor is relative. If you have the income and assets to live decently then the financial hardship will not be onerous. 55 is not old. |
Anonymous
| Hold on - your scared to divorce? Then work on what you have. I got divorced at 54, but I knew I would be in a better place and I have been. But I was never afraid of being alone and knew what my financial outcome would be (better in my case). I mean heck, you are still sleeping with him, you are in a lot better place than I was so try to save it first. |
Anonymous
| Try to work on it OP. Divorce is not good...not sure why people seem to be advocating for it on this forum |
Anonymous
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How much have you both invested recently in getting to the root of the problem/making effort to fix what’s wrong?
I was in a low place about 5 years ago. We both changed a lot, did a some marriage counseling (which is totally not is), bonded over how ridiculous it was and came out the other side. We are now in a very happy place which I never would have thought possible. Divorce is pretty tough. I’d have to be sure that without a doubt things would never be fixed. |
Anonymous
| 70k HHI is fine for a single older woman. I raised two kids on 90K before I remarried. |