Verbal abuse?
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Anonymous
This, OP. Have you told her her comments upset you? If you're venting here but haven't ever called her out at the time she says things like the example you gave--why haven't you spoken up? Was she always kind of like this, but it seemed kind of snarkily funny back when you were dating? And it's worn thin and gotten hurtful? Or: Is this recent or new behavior? If so, has anything changed? New job for either of you, kids came along, she's frustrated with something--? Not an excuse if there has been a change or a problem but it might be an explanation if this is recent meanness. Like PP says, talk to her. This may not even really, at its core, be about belittling you (though that's the damaging shape it's taking). You need to sit down with her and say your piece--you feel put down, and want to know if she really does think X and Y about you as she has said or if she thinks she's being funny. There are people out there who think they're relaying normal things ("Hey, honey, you could use some new shirts for work. Why don't we go shopping this weekend?") in a way that's "funny" ("You're disgusting, your shirts are awful!"). It's awful and they do not recognize it in themselves so they insist that people like you are over-sensitive, can't take a joke, are no fun, can't take teasing... etc. If she does that to you, think about involving a counselor or therapist, because the constant drumbeat of negatives will kill your relationship unless she learns to hear it too. |
Anonymous
| Do you need a haircut or new clothing? I did complain to HR once about a coworker who was regularly wearing dirty clothing (and did not stay locked in his office). I was the only woman and many men made comments to me about the guy, but nobody would complain officially. |
Anonymous
| How old are you bro? And your dear wife?? |
TwistdMike
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If you're wearing ten year old clothes, ratty shoes, tattered tightly whitties, and refuse to improve, who better to assist than your wife?
You should attempt to dress to impress your wife, it will come back to you in the end. I’ve seen many people in public that could use some advice from their spouses... tough love required at times. |
Anonymous
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Sorry Op. As you can see from this thread, abuse against men isn't taken seriously by many. This isn't about you not having a good sense of humor and getting her jokes or about your lack of fashion sense.
It is wrong and that is on her, not you. What do you want to do at this point? What is your current goal? Do you want to go to counseling? Do you want to separate? Do you want to figure out how to have a voice and respond to her? I would suggest you talk to someone on your own, separate from any couples counseling you might also do. |