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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]It's possible that she thinks she is being funny and teasing and doesn't realize that it upsets you. I would just talk to her about it and if she's decent human being, she'll knock it off.[/quote]

This, OP. Have you told her her comments upset you? If you're venting here but haven't ever called her out at the time she says things like the example you gave--why haven't you spoken up?

Was she always kind of like this, but it seemed kind of snarkily funny back when you were dating? And it's worn thin and gotten hurtful?

Or: Is this recent or new behavior? If so, has anything changed? New job for either of you, kids came along, she's frustrated with something--? Not an excuse if there has been a change or a problem but it might be an explanation if this is recent meanness.

Like PP says, talk to her. This may not even really, at its core, be about belittling you (though that's the damaging shape it's taking). You need to sit down with her and say your piece--you feel put down, and want to know if she really does think X and Y about you as she has said or if she thinks she's being funny.

There are people out there who think they're relaying normal things ("Hey, honey, you could use some new shirts for work. Why don't we go shopping this weekend?") in a way that's "funny" ("You're disgusting, your shirts are awful!"). It's awful and they do not recognize it in themselves so they insist that people like you are over-sensitive, can't take a joke, are no fun, can't take teasing... etc. If she does that to you, think about involving a counselor or therapist, because the constant drumbeat of negatives will kill your relationship unless she learns to hear it too.

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