Anonymous wrote:Because men aren't helping with anywhere near their fair share of housework and childcare and women are fed up and filing for more divorces than ever.

Anonymous wrote:Because women just refuse to be happy. Read the other thread. It's not enough for a man to contribute his fair share. He has to do it her way and also stress over it as much as she does or he's just being unreasonable. Misandry disguised as feminism

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Because men aren't helping with anywhere near their fair share of housework and childcare and women are fed up and filing for more divorces than ever.

This above. My 17 year marriage dissolved because I stopped respecting my XH. He didn’t lift a finger around the house and left everything to me. He’d be sitting on the couch playing games on his phone while I’d be cleaning up the dog poo in the back yard so I could mow. He complained about how I did his laundry. He never put a dish in the dishwasher (he would rinse the dish then leave it in the sink). We both worked full time. And he wondered why I never had energy for sex (it wasn’t just a lack of energy, I didn’t respect him so it wasn’t enjoyable). Neither of us were good partners to the other.

The second we split he started taking care of his business and I’m sure he’ll be a great partner to the next wife.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Because women just refuse to be happy. Read the other thread. It's not enough for a man to contribute his fair share. He has to do it her way and also stress over it as much as she does or he's just being unreasonable. Misandry disguised as feminism

+10000 and I'm a woman.

Anonymous wrote:Because women just refuse to be happy. Read the other thread. It's not enough for a man to contribute his fair share. He has to do it her way and also stress over it as much as she does or he's just being unreasonable. Misandry disguised as feminism

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Because women just refuse to be happy. Read the other thread. It's not enough for a man to contribute his fair share. He has to do it her way and also stress over it as much as she does or he's just being unreasonable. Misandry disguised as feminism

+10000 and I'm a woman.

Anonymous wrote:You decide to be partners; you make a life plan. Why are there so many unhappy marriages, talk of AP and divorces? Is it your partner's fault? I think all of us have bought into the American Dream. American culture expects every man to be handsome, tall, fit, big money maker, prestigious career, well dressed, well groomed, great husband, great father, great at fixing things, great at housework, great at yardwork. Women are expected to be gorgeous, fit, bring in an equal income to her alpha spouse, prestigious career, well dressed, well groomed, great wife who wants exciting, frequent sex at a moment's notice, great mother, great at all family and social relationships, great at housework, and never forgetting thank yous. Maybe the problem isn't "fat and lazy" partners, maybe it is unrealistic expectations.

When I read some of these posts on DCUM it actually makes me sad. Women complain men don't help with kids, chores, or don't make enough; men complain they are not getting enough sex or what their wives do is "busywork". No one wants to feel devalued or disrespected. Maybe your expectations need to be adjusted. Maybe we need to listen to our partners and not social media and other cultural influences. And stop with all the comparisons, judgements, and envy. Just appreciate each other more!

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You decide to be partners; you make a life plan. Why are there so many unhappy marriages, talk of AP and divorces? Is it your partner's fault? I think all of us have bought into the American Dream. American culture expects every man to be handsome, tall, fit, big money maker, prestigious career, well dressed, well groomed, great husband, great father, great at fixing things, great at housework, great at yardwork. Women are expected to be gorgeous, fit, bring in an equal income to her alpha spouse, prestigious career, well dressed, well groomed, great wife who wants exciting, frequent sex at a moment's notice, great mother, great at all family and social relationships, great at housework, and never forgetting thank yous. Maybe the problem isn't "fat and lazy" partners, maybe it is unrealistic expectations.

When I read some of these posts on DCUM it actually makes me sad. Women complain men don't help with kids, chores, or don't make enough; men complain they are not getting enough sex or what their wives do is "busywork". No one wants to feel devalued or disrespected. Maybe your expectations need to be adjusted. Maybe we need to listen to our partners and not social media and other cultural influences. And stop with all the comparisons, judgements, and envy. Just appreciate each other more!

I'm only 2.5 years into my marriage and it has been so much harder than I ever fathomed. Our timeline was rather typical: Dated. Moved In. Engaged. Married. Pregnant. House. Baby. Career Advancement.

We had the strongest relationship before marriage but everything that came next kind of blew up that life. Since most don't jump into parenthood and homeownership before marriage I think those factors get tangled up into the 1:1 relationship you and your partner have. This is a great post, OP. The grass is always greener on the other side.

Women are expected to be gorgeous, fit, bring in an equal income to her alpha spouse, prestigious career, well dressed, well groomed, great wife who wants exciting, frequent sex at a moment's notice, great mother, great at all family and social relationships, great at housework, and never forgetting thank yous.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Because men aren't helping with anywhere near their fair share of housework and childcare and women are fed up and filing for more divorces than ever.

This above. My 17 year marriage dissolved because I stopped respecting my XH. He didn’t lift a finger around the house and left everything to me. He’d be sitting on the couch playing games on his phone while I’d be cleaning up the dog poo in the back yard so I could mow. He complained about how I did his laundry. He never put a dish in the dishwasher (he would rinse the dish then leave it in the sink). We both worked full time. And he wondered why I never had energy for sex (it wasn’t just a lack of energy, I didn’t respect him so it wasn’t enjoyable). Neither of us were good partners to the other.

The second we split he started taking care of his business and I’m sure he’ll be a great partner to the next wife.