Appreciate each other

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My husband and I are both attractive, gainfully employed, and we shared house work/child rearing equally. I think we are good parents. He is fun to talk to, and we have near-daily sex.

I appreciate him very much. Too bad his ex-wife didn’t.

Thank you, pp. Then there is hope for me in the future. If you are a troll then my hope is gone for this weekend.

I definitely think the appreciate and accountability word has been coming up alot in my marriage. The funny part is that I make more$, do more chores, less child rearing, even plan dates, etc.
Alot of our issues is due to work, early age kid stress.

I agree though my expectations of having sex once a week is too much.

[Anonymous]

sandmguy wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Because men aren't helping with anywhere near their fair share of housework and childcare and women are fed up and filing for more divorces than ever.

This above. My 17 year marriage dissolved because I stopped respecting my XH. He didn’t lift a finger around the house and left everything to me. He’d be sitting on the couch playing games on his phone while I’d be cleaning up the dog poo in the back yard so I could mow. He complained about how I did his laundry. He never put a dish in the dishwasher (he would rinse the dish then leave it in the sink). We both worked full time. And he wondered why I never had energy for sex (it wasn’t just a lack of energy, I didn’t respect him so it wasn’t enjoyable). Neither of us were good partners to the other.

The second we split he started taking care of his business and I’m sure he’ll be a great partner to the next wife.

Did you try counseling?

We did, he went with me exactly twice, decided the counselor was picking on him and refused to go back.

[Anonymous]

Because I can do everything without my husband - earn money and care for the kids. It boils down to him just being a warm body, fungible with any other guy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Because women just refuse to be happy. Read the other thread. It's not enough for a man to contribute his fair share. He has to do it her way and also stress over it as much as she does or he's just being unreasonable. Misandry disguised as feminism

+10000 and I'm a woman.

You're a woman? Please state how many hours a week you work outside the home, what chores you outsource, how many children you have and their ages.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My husband and I are both attractive, gainfully employed, and we shared house work/child rearing equally. I think we are good parents. He is fun to talk to, and we have near-daily sex.

I appreciate him very much. Too bad his ex-wife didn’t.

Second wife. Well, sure. His first wife broke him in for you.

[Anonymous]

yes, it is not an easy journey....we are fallen human and are prone to think what we have is not good enough. I envy other easily too and I need to watch myself from doing it (e.g. not reading facebook or pinterest anymore).

On the other hand, there are also indeed very difficult marriages out there with genuine issues and broken relationships. We can simply empathize and try not to judge...I don't think anyone wants intentionally to have their marriages fail. Stay hopeful sister!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My husband and I are both attractive, gainfully employed, and we shared house work/child rearing equally. I think we are good parents. He is fun to talk to, and we have near-daily sex.

I appreciate him very much. Too bad his ex-wife didn’t.

Second wife. Well, sure. His first wife broke him in for you.

Her controlling abuse certainly did break him. Unfortunately, that was as good as it will get for her.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Because women just refuse to be happy. Read the other thread. It's not enough for a man to contribute his fair share. He has to do it her way and also stress over it as much as she does or he's just being unreasonable. Misandry disguised as feminism

+10000 and I'm a woman.

You're a woman? Please state how many hours a week you work outside the home, what chores you outsource, how many children you have and their ages.

Do you want their blood types as well before you render judgement, oh anonymous internet person?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Because men aren't helping with anywhere near their fair share of housework and childcare and women are fed up and filing for more divorces than ever.

This above. My 17 year marriage dissolved because I stopped respecting my XH. He didn’t lift a finger around the house and left everything to me. He’d be sitting on the couch playing games on his phone while I’d be cleaning up the dog poo in the back yard so I could mow. He complained about how I did his laundry. He never put a dish in the dishwasher (he would rinse the dish then leave it in the sink). We both worked full time. And he wondered why I never had energy for sex (it wasn’t just a lack of energy, I didn’t respect him so it wasn’t enjoyable). Neither of us were good partners to the other.

The second we split he started taking care of his business and I’m sure he’ll be a great partner to the next wife.

My 21 year marriage is on the same path

All of this. It's happening, dudes.

[Anonymous]

It's happening, dudes.

Based on postings in the emotional emotion thread, dads and kids everywhere will be relieved.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Because men aren't helping with anywhere near their fair share of housework and childcare and women are fed up and filing for more divorces than ever.

This above. My 17 year marriage dissolved because I stopped respecting my XH. He didn’t lift a finger around the house and left everything to me. He’d be sitting on the couch playing games on his phone while I’d be cleaning up the dog poo in the back yard so I could mow. He complained about how I did his laundry. He never put a dish in the dishwasher (he would rinse the dish then leave it in the sink). We both worked full time. And he wondered why I never had energy for sex (it wasn’t just a lack of energy, I didn’t respect him so it wasn’t enjoyable). Neither of us were good partners to the other.

The second we split he started taking care of his business and I’m sure he’ll be a great partner to the next wife.

My 21 year marriage is on the same path

All of this. It's happening, dudes.

Is there an Express lane?

[Anonymous]

Many women in my generation expected that we could have it all-a challenging career and be an amazing mom and wife too and run an impeccable household. But this isn't possible, there's only so much a person can give. I think many of us are realizing it's a trap. Some husbands may be to blame, but mostly they are an easy target because they are right there, but really it's the women who are running ourselves ragged trying to have it all.

Men are trained early on to specialize, excel in workforce, let others handle home and childcare. The single dads I know don't agonize over sending a kid to daycare. They have accepted they can't be all things, and must sacrifice some roles to others who might not be ideal.

Everyone has to make sacrifices. Feminism bought us incredible, priceless freedom, but it's not a 'get out of struggle' card. It may have even downplayed some potential consequences (which do not diminish its overall value.) I found the Atlantic article: 'why women still can't have it all' and ariel Levy's recent 'the rules do not apply' very illuminating regarding this struggle. I know some women really do have crap life partners, (I know a couple men who do, too, btw.) But I think there's a larger reckoning going on here for my generation of women on work-life balance.