WWYD: Literally caught him with his pants down

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[Post New]09/27/2017 07:11
quote
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Frankly, I'm sick of people on this forum saying "partner". A boyfriend relationship just doesn't have the same level of commitment as a HUSBAND so, yeah. Still if it were me, I'd break up with him for sure.


Before we actually legally wed last year, my then-boyfriend was far more of a committed partner than my exH had been in 5 years of marriage. Even after we married, my first H was never my emergency contact person because he was bad a making decisions and was honest that he didn't want to be responsible. In contrast, my mere boyfriend took unpaid personal days off to help me when I was hospitalized with uncontrollable vomitting and abdominal cramps. So, yeah, he was and still is my partner, regardless of which side of the marriage license we're on.


And then you got married, because people who show that level of commitment are the type to get married. It isn't about being committed before or after marriage, it's about being willing to get married. If he hadn't been willing to get married, he would not have been as committed as he was. Willingness to get married doesn't necessarily show you're committed to caring for the other person (as with your ex), but an unwillingness to get married is a yellow flag for a lack of commitment.
[Post New]09/27/2017 10:42
quote
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Frankly, I'm sick of people on this forum saying "partner". A boyfriend relationship just doesn't have the same level of commitment as a HUSBAND so, yeah. Still if it were me, I'd break up with him for sure.


we've been together a decade, own a home together, joint money, beneficiary to each other's wills, medical POA, raising children together. Believe me there is far more commitment here than there was in either of our marriages


Why didn't you get married? How many kids do you have together?
because marriage sucks. Why are Goldie hawn-and Kurt rusell still together? They never got married

Yea! Just like Tim Burton/Helena Bonham Carter or Diane Krueger/Joshua Jackson or Tim Robbins/Susan Sarandon.

It's just the mystical, relationship sustaining powers of never getting married!
[Post New]09/27/2017 10:45
quote
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Next time get married before kids. The high cost of extraction makes people think twice.


Actually, the courts treated single moms better than wives when it comes to custody and child support. If OP wants, she can move the kid and never file for support or custody, if the boyfriend doesn't care he won't file. If he files, he has to establish paternity first.


You don't have to establish paternity first to get child support?
[Post New]09/27/2017 11:04
quote
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:As I was driving home from work today, I see my partner in his car with an unknown woman in the passenger seat and he appears to be changing his pants. I pull over (with our 3 yr old daughter in the car) and kindly ask him what the hell is he doing. He says he is going to happy hour with co workers to celebrate passenger girls birthday and was changing out of his uniform. he hadn't called me to tell me had plans after work. And I was very upset he had his pants down with boxers in full view while this girl is sitting right there. I left and called him to say if you don't come home immediately and explain yourself then I'm done. He says ok but stays and has a drink and comes home an hour and a half later. WWYD?


Troll level: journeyman. I was going to be more critical, but reading through the multiple page discussion, I realize now that I greatly overestimated the DCUM audience. This story strains plausibility, both the coincidence of seeing your DH in this scenario---let me get this straight, he was parked in is own car with another woman along a route you just happened to be driving, either changing clothes or doing something more frisky, in plain view rather than parking somewhere more discreet---and then plays it off the way he did? If I thought this were true, I'd be impressed by your DH.

That said, it worked, so I must recognize that as well. Eek, DCUM, pull yourselves together.
[Post New]09/27/2017 11:08
quote
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:As I was driving home from work today, I see my partner in his car with an unknown woman in the passenger seat and he appears to be changing his pants. I pull over (with our 3 yr old daughter in the car) and kindly ask him what the hell is he doing. He says he is going to happy hour with co workers to celebrate passenger girls birthday and was changing out of his uniform. he hadn't called me to tell me had plans after work. And I was very upset he had his pants down with boxers in full view while this girl is sitting right there. I left and called him to say if you don't come home immediately and explain yourself then I'm done. He says ok but stays and has a drink and comes home an hour and a half later. WWYD?


Troll level: journeyman. I was going to be more critical, but reading through the multiple page discussion, I realize now that I greatly overestimated the DCUM audience. This story strains plausibility, both the coincidence of seeing your DH in this scenario---let me get this straight, he was parked in is own car with another woman along a route you just happened to be driving, either changing clothes or doing something more frisky, in plain view rather than parking somewhere more discreet---and then plays it off the way he did? If I thought this were true, I'd be impressed by your DH.

That said, it worked, so I must recognize that as well. Eek, DCUM, pull yourselves together.


I did, however, like "passenger girl", that was a nice touch. Was her name Larla by any chance?
[Post New]09/27/2017 11:09
quote
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:As I was driving home from work today, I see my partner in his car with an unknown woman in the passenger seat and he appears to be changing his pants. I pull over (with our 3 yr old daughter in the car) and kindly ask him what the hell is he doing. He says he is going to happy hour with co workers to celebrate passenger girls birthday and was changing out of his uniform. he hadn't called me to tell me had plans after work. And I was very upset he had his pants down with boxers in full view while this girl is sitting right there. I left and called him to say if you don't come home immediately and explain yourself then I'm done. He says ok but stays and has a drink and comes home an hour and a half later. WWYD?


If her head was in his lap that would have been the dead giveaway! If not I'd still be suspect!
[Post New]09/27/2017 11:10
quote
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Frankly, I'm sick of people on this forum saying "partner". A boyfriend relationship just doesn't have the same level of commitment as a HUSBAND so, yeah. Still if it were me, I'd break up with him for sure.


we've been together a decade, own a home together, joint money, beneficiary to each other's wills, medical POA, raising children together. Believe me there is far more commitment here than there was in either of our marriages


Why didn't you get married? How many kids do you have together?
because marriage sucks. Why are Goldie hawn-and Kurt rusell still together? They never got married

Yea! Just like Tim Burton/Helena Bonham Carter or Diane Krueger/Joshua Jackson or Tim Robbins/Susan Sarandon.

It's just the mystical, relationship sustaining powers of never getting married!


None of these people are together any longer. Says something about institutions perhaps?
[Post New]09/27/2017 11:15
quote
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Frankly, I'm sick of people on this forum saying "partner". A boyfriend relationship just doesn't have the same level of commitment as a HUSBAND so, yeah. Still if it were me, I'd break up with him for sure.


we've been together a decade, own a home together, joint money, beneficiary to each other's wills, medical POA, raising children together. Believe me there is far more commitment here than there was in either of our marriages

Except for the no-pants-in-car part. Other than that, lots of commitment.
[Post New]09/27/2017 16:13
quote
ZachF
Member Offline
Anonymous wrote:Next time get married before kids. The high cost of extraction makes people think twice.


No it doesn't.
[Post New]09/27/2017 16:22
quote
Anonymous
besides the fact this is fake, I would have to think it is unlikely he was having sex in a car in a very public area? did he have two pairs of pants there -- the ones he was changing into and out of? I mean if so, boxers are like running shorts. Maybe he didn't think it was a big deal.

I have changed clothes discreetly all sorts of public places but I've never had sex in a "very public place."

Maybe he took an hour to think about it since you'd gone off the deep end on him (in front of your daughter!)



[Post New]09/27/2017 16:25
quote
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:As I was driving home from work today, I see my partner in his car with an unknown woman in the passenger seat and he appears to be changing his pants. I pull over (with our 3 yr old daughter in the car) and kindly ask him what the hell is he doing. He says he is going to happy hour with co workers to celebrate passenger girls birthday and was changing out of his uniform. he hadn't called me to tell me had plans after work. And I was very upset he had his pants down with boxers in full view while this girl is sitting right there. I left and called him to say if you don't come home immediately and explain yourself then I'm done. He says ok but stays and has a drink and comes home an hour and a half later. WWYD?


Troll level: journeyman[b]. I was going to be more critical, but reading through the multiple page discussion, I realize now that I greatly overestimated the DCUM audience. This story strains plausibility, both the coincidence of seeing your DH in this scenario---let me get this straight, he was parked in is own car with another woman along a route you just happened to be driving, either changing clothes or doing something more frisky, in plain view rather than parking somewhere more discreet---and then plays it off the way he did? If I thought this were true, I'd be impressed by your DH.

That said, it worked, so I must recognize that as well. Eek, DCUM, pull yourselves together.



Good call
[Post New]09/27/2017 19:40
quote
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Frankly, I'm sick of people on this forum saying "partner". A boyfriend relationship just doesn't have the same level of commitment as a HUSBAND so, yeah. Still if it were me, I'd break up with him for sure.


we've been together a decade, own a home together, joint money, beneficiary to each other's wills, medical POA, raising children together. Believe me there is far more commitment here than there was in either of our marriages


Why didn't you get married? How many kids do you have together?
because marriage sucks. Why are Goldie hawn-and Kurt rusell still together? They never got married

Yea! Just like Tim Burton/Helena Bonham Carter or Diane Krueger/Joshua Jackson or Tim Robbins/Susan Sarandon.

It's just the mystical, relationship sustaining powers of never getting married!


None of these people are together any longer. Says something about institutions perhaps?


Yes. That was sarcasm. All of them were in 10+ year non-marriage relationships.
[Post New]09/27/2017 19:51
quote
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:First I would acknowledge that my husband is cheating on me.


This.

I'm truly curious where you gals find men like this...and why you bother procreating with them? Befuddling.
[Post New]09/27/2017 20:11
quote
Anonymous
I am amazed by how many people believe OP. She just so happens to be driving by to see her boyfriend stripping down to his underwear on the side of the road? It doesn't even make sense.
[Post New]09/27/2017 20:30
quote
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Frankly, I'm sick of people on this forum saying "partner". A boyfriend relationship just doesn't have the same level of commitment as a HUSBAND so, yeah. Still if it were me, I'd break up with him for sure.


we've been together a decade, own a home together, joint money, beneficiary to each other's wills, medical POA, raising children together. Believe me there is far more commitment here than there was in either of our marriages

Hence why he's cleaning his coworker's pipes on the street in full view and doesn't come home when you catch him. Honey, if you were going to leave, you would not be posting here. So, accept that you are going to stay and don't try to save face by making a whole to do.
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