Was on TTC thread
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Anonymous
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Hi, I posted this on the TTC thread last week, but so far 0 response. Hoping this is ok to post here.
Hi, My husband was on a testosterone drug due to low T, low libido. He took it for 3 years. He stopped taking it 1 year ago. I haven't been on bc for the last year. Sex is challenging because he has trouble "finishing", but he does finish. How long do we wait before we worry and need to do something about this? My doctor says that there is no reason for me to have an difficulty getting pregnant. I'm 27 and he is 29. What do we do next? |
Anonymous
| Do not wait. Trouble finishing is trouble enough. You can try the instead cup method (google it) plus opks, but you may need iui. Married 12 years and ended up with OCD. Don't wait. |
Anonymous
| Haha, I meant ivf which feels like OCD! |
Roar
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First of all....breathe.
You feel the pressure of all other couples sending out baby notifications....breathe. You hear the stories of people who can't concieve...breathe. In through the nose out through the mouth. Now get a glass of wine. Let that breathe, too. Now, a couple of pointers and quick thoughts. He's probably got a good enough swim team. You probably are fertile soil as well. You can both get them checked out if it makes life better. I'm sure you already are charting your cycles and those 2-3 days of perfect timing. To men, BTW this is awesome sex -- get home, get hard, get finished and go watch sportscenter. As for him, make sure he finishes missionary. We want the fastest path for his swimmers to find their way to you. Also, make sure you've got some wedge underneath you so your hips are elevated during missionary. Think of it as no sperm left behind. For him, I recommend eating egg whites, celery and no smoking or heavy drinking. Also, switch to boxers and let his cash and prizes dangle without being couped up hotter than bikram yoga session. L-Arginine, zinc and Leticin also help. Now what you can do to help him finish is "dirty talk." If you feel uncomfortable about it, think about yourself as an actress and your end state here. Start with whispering in his ear some really sexy stuff during missionary. Then get a bit louder and more commanding with it. Dig a nail or two in the small of his back or backside. You get the drift here... You're probably going to get the desired outcome here, but I will tell you this, he'll love the process. Lather, Rinse and Repeat. Here's a parable I will share that I love in closing too. A salesman complained he only closed 1/2 of his prospects and felt like a failure. His rabbi asked him to look up the lifetime batting average of the greatest hitter of all time. The next week the Rabbi asked the man what was the number. ".336" So the greatest hitter of all time failed nearly 7 out of every 10 times he got to the plate. You don't need to be successful 100%, just 1% of the attempts. Now go get that baby! |
Anonymous
| Your DH needs to get evaluated -- there may be underlying hormonal issues causing the low T that are also causing low counts. One year without conceiving at your ages is a red flag. |
Anonymous
| PP here -- not sure who the go-to andrologist is now that Richard Sherins at Columbia has retired, but do a search for "male factor" and some other names should pop up. Good luck, OP! We had male factor, did IVF, and have twins. |
Anonymous
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OP - what test drug was he on? Was it testosterone? Testosterone is an effective form of BC for men. Also, why was he on Test at such a young age?
Maybe the doc can prescribe clomid to get his body producing? |
Anonymous
| If you've been trying for a year, most doctors would refer you to a reproductive specialist at that point. When did your doctor say you shouldn't have problems? Was that recently, or awhile ago? |
Anonymous
| Have you both had a fertility workup? We ttc for 5 years starting mid 20s with unexplained infertility. |
Anonymous
| Roar, that was such a nice post! |
Anonymous
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Most doctors will not evaluate you, at your age, for infertility until you've been trying for 1 year unsuccessfully. If you took out your BC one year ago, you are at the one year mark. You should have your husband see a urologist now to get a sperm evaluation. From there, you can either work with your gyno or go to an RE (e.g. Shady Grove) for your basic testing, depending on what you feel comfortable with/your insurance.
Infertility is generally defined as 12 months or more unprotected sex, without resulting in a pregnancy. You will probably get better help looking at the DCUM or Reddit Infertility boards than the general TTC communities. |
Anonymous
| Make an appointment with a reproductive endocrinologist today!!! If your husband has low T it is extremely likely that he has low sperm counts, ESPECIALLY if he was taking testosterone replacement. My husband also has low T and after trying for 6 years we have only gotten pregnant naturally once. IVF worked for us on the first try. Don't delay, make an appointment. |
Anonymous
Most of the time he can only finish with his hand, which doesn't help the issue. |
Anonymous
PP here that you quoted. If he has good swimmers and is cooperative, the instead cups could work for you guys. Try a few more cycles this way, but please contact specialist for a sperm analysis as previous poster suggested. I do have a baby now, I just wished we had gone for help sooner. |
Anonymous
| Do you really want to start a family with someone who can't satisfy you sexually? So that you'll later need to decide whether to device, which would devastate your kids, or live a sexless life? Deal with the problem now. |