I am losing heart.

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[Post New]04/13/2017 03:49
quote
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:It seems that excellent GPA and SAT is no longer enough. EC activities have to be supplemented with trips to teach underprivileged children in 3rd world countries. And you have to be able to afford the said trips to foreign countries. You have to know people to get internships and recommendations. All this in HS.

I just feel that I have failed my kids because this is just so overwhelming.
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Have you been living under a rock?

Excellent grades and test scores weren't enough when I was in HS and I'm 33. This is not something new. It hasn't been enough for a long time - maybe in the 60's that's all it took?

The good news is that there are options and workarounds. For example, in CA you can be guaranteed admission to an UC if you go to community college for 2 years and meet certain criteria (classes taken and GPA) - this even applies to Berkeley! No, it's not a glamorous path, but your diploma will still be from the college you graduate from. There are alternate pathways in this area as well, I'm just not as familiar with them because my kids are toddlers. Seriously, start talking to other parents and doing some research.
[Post New]04/13/2017 04:07
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Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I am getting sick of the whole "wealthy hire tutors to spoon feed their kids." The people that I know who hire tutors (very few) have kids who are struggling either with a poor teacher or an LD. The idea that most are rigging the system by buying special assistance for their child is so overblown. The tutor is needed to help the kids grasp information that is needed to pass, not move a kid from an A- to an A. Poor kids have access to Khan Academy, libraries and non profit tutoring groups. If you are worried about any child having access to homework help, I hope you are volunteering to help.


You are uninformed. My kids go to best schools and competition is fierce. Type A parents play every angle there is to eke out a little extra. Tutors aren't just for geometry struggles. Tutors can also help kids learn Mandarin outside of school, and other things like that to get an edge on classmates.


I know what you mean. The previous poster is nuts. While low income kids are working menial after school jobs, UMC kids are getting tutored in mandarin and getting coaching so they can win a national robotics competition. Academic trophies are important too. They also get coaching in their niche sport like crew or tennis so they can really stand out on the field. It's not so much about getting an athletic scholarship, but showing that you can excel. Playing sports in college is just one option (of many.)

Getting an A on an AP test is just the beginning. Sure, if a kid is having trouble in calculus the parents will probably hire a tutor for that too. But for the most part, basic homework help is not what people are referring to when they talk about this type of privilege.
[Post New]04/13/2017 04:22
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Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:OP, I have a normal stats kid that did just fine in the admissions process. His unweighted GPA was around 3.6, he took 5 AP classes but didn't take the tests, and he scored 29 on the ACT. His EC's were football, wrestling, some normal kid volunteer stuff (little league, hospital), got a couple of awards, nothing spectacular... Interviewed great, wrote a solid essay and picked a reasonable selection of schools. I'm proud of his results and he ended up going to Macalester. Here's the breakdown:
St Olaf - accepted with aid
Luther - accepted with aid
Carelton - denied
College of Wooster - Wait list
Kenyon - accepted with aid
Grinnell - Wait list, no aid
Denison - accepted with aid
Cornell - denied

So you see, even with a normal GPA and ACT, he had his choice of St. Olaf, Macalester, Luther college (his safety), Kenyon and Denison.

So, please don't lose heart based on what you read here. Your kid will do just fine.



Fantastic. And Macalester is a very good school. I wonder if the wrestling helped? I really think it does!
[Post New]04/13/2017 05:24
quote
PaleoConPrep
Member Offline
Anonymous wrote:It seems that excellent GPA and SAT is no longer enough. EC activities have to be supplemented with trips to teach underprivileged children in 3rd world countries. And you have to be able to afford the said trips to foreign countries. You have to know people to get internships and recommendations. All this in HS.

I just feel that I have failed my kids because this is just so overwhelming.

I didn't do any of this and I still got into some very decent schools. The vast majority of colleges will accept a kid with even slightly above average stats and a few ECs. I guess all the stuff you bring up may be needed to get into Ivys, highly ranked research universities, and "top-tier" LACs(Williams, Amherst, etc) but I had no desire to go to such places. I peruse the college forum on DCUM once or twice a week, and some of the threads on here are just weird. The obsession with the Ivys, "prestige", connections, and rankings often makes me wonder if there are people who really live this way. The Ivys, top research universities, and top-tier LACs aren't the only good schools out there. When I was looking at colleges, my decision ultimately came down to which school would provide the best academic/social experience. That's really all that matters. I'm headed to one of the Colleges that Change Lives (St. Johns), and you certainly don't need crazy ECs and connections to get into any of them. When I see this thread and threads like this one
http://www.dcurbanmom.com/jforum/posts/list/631297.page
I'm thankful I don't live the lifestyle of the DCUM crowd.
[Post New]04/13/2017 05:55
quote
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:OP, I have a normal stats kid that did just fine in the admissions process. His unweighted GPA was around 3.6, he took 5 AP classes but didn't take the tests, and he scored 29 on the ACT. His EC's were football, wrestling, some normal kid volunteer stuff (little league, hospital), got a couple of awards, nothing spectacular... Interviewed great, wrote a solid essay and picked a reasonable selection of schools. I'm proud of his results and he ended up going to Macalester. Here's the breakdown:
St Olaf - accepted with aid
Luther - accepted with aid
Carelton - denied
College of Wooster - Wait list
Kenyon - accepted with aid
Grinnell - Wait list, no aid
Denison - accepted with aid
Cornell - denied

So you see, even with a normal GPA and ACT, he had his choice of St. Olaf, Macalester, Luther college (his safety), Kenyon and Denison.

So, please don't lose heart based on what you read here. Your kid will do just fine.



I agree that the OP should not lose hope but the majority of schools listed above do not typically accept "normal
GPA and ACT" students - certainly not St Olaf, Carlton, Grinnell, Macalester, Cornell, Kenyon, Denison.
[Post New]04/13/2017 06:25
quote
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:It seems that excellent GPA and SAT is no longer enough. EC activities have to be supplemented with trips to teach underprivileged children in 3rd world countries. And you have to be able to afford the said trips to foreign countries. You have to know people to get internships and recommendations. All this in HS.

I just feel that I have failed my kids because this is just so overwhelming.
There are over 3000 colleges in this country. Additionally, your child and their excellent stats is not the only game in town. Try checking out some of those 3000 in addition to Harvard and Yale which is really where you want your child to go.

There is a guide (name escapes me now, no coffee yet) that list every college along with other pertinent info. You can get it at Barnes and Noble, Amazon, etc. So stop the pity party. There are just so many seats at the top ten!
[Post New]04/13/2017 08:05
quote
Anonymous
The good news is that there are options and workarounds. For example, in CA you can be guaranteed admission to an UC if you go to community college for 2 years and meet certain criteria (classes taken and GPA) - this even applies to Berkeley! No, it's not a glamorous path, but your diploma will still be from the college you graduate from. There are alternate pathways in this area as well, I'm just not as familiar with them because my kids are toddlers. Seriously, start talking to other parents and doing some research.


I love that a mother of toddlers is recommending community college to the mom of a junior with a 1560 SAT and straight As! Only on DCUM.

OP, your kid can probably get into the best public universities in the country and many schools in the top 30.
[Post New]04/13/2017 08:15
quote
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:People, people, people: It's Carleton. A crazy prestigious SLAC in Northfield, MN.


Thanks.
I spelled it how it had been spelled earlier in the thread because I had never heard of it before.
[Post New]04/13/2017 08:18
quote
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:
The good news is that there are options and workarounds. For example, in CA you can be guaranteed admission to an UC if you go to community college for 2 years and meet certain criteria (classes taken and GPA) - this even applies to Berkeley! No, it's not a glamorous path, but your diploma will still be from the college you graduate from. There are alternate pathways in this area as well, I'm just not as familiar with them because my kids are toddlers. Seriously, start talking to other parents and doing some research.


I love that a mother of toddlers is recommending community college to the mom of a junior with a 1560 SAT and straight As! Only on DCUM.

OP, your kid can probably get into the best public universities in the country and many schools in the top 30.


Agreed. But then the question becomes money. If OP's family is eligible for FA or full pay, then maybe not an issue. But if they need merit aid to cover part of private school or OOS public tuition, then the options narrow.
[Post New]04/13/2017 08:18
quote
Anonymous
OP, look into UChicago.
[Post New]04/13/2017 08:33
quote
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:
OP here. My kid is in a magnet HS in MCPS. Straight A's. 1560 SAT (taken only once, he is not keen to retake again because of lack of time). Not a sports person. Participates in 4 clubs. Belongs to a couple of scholastic honors societies. 300 Hours of SSL - various local charities and volunteer work he has been involved in since MS. Leadership position in a couple of clubs. Goes for a few competitions from his clubs - wins a few. 7 APs (Mainly 5s) by end of junior year.

I have been told that he should not even bother to apply to the top schools because he should have done things that differentiates him from other students. Examples that I was given of charities that were founded, travel to 3rd world countries etc., Interning at NIH, Intel competition etc. - is not something we can afford because of lack of time and money.

I do not have a problem with him applying to state public colleges as long as he does something that he will enjoy (he is equally good in Humanities and STEM).

Thank you for your replies. I am actually beginning to feel a lot better now.





I initially had sympathy for you OP, but now I am just blown away by your lack of connection to reality (and I have a student at H/S/Y). Please do not ever mention your concerns to a parent going through the process with you as it will only serve to unnerve and depress them. Of course your child will be admitted to at least one top-10 school with those stats, and certainly to two or more top 15 colleges with those statistics. Stop your worrying you will only make everyone around you very anxious.
[Post New]04/13/2017 08:35
quote
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:OP, I have a normal stats kid that did just fine in the admissions process. His unweighted GPA was around 3.6, he took 5 AP classes but didn't take the tests, and he scored 29 on the ACT. His EC's were football, wrestling, some normal kid volunteer stuff (little league, hospital), got a couple of awards, nothing spectacular... Interviewed great, wrote a solid essay and picked a reasonable selection of schools. I'm proud of his results and he ended up going to Macalester. Here's the breakdown:
St Olaf - accepted with aid
Luther - accepted with aid
Carelton - denied
College of Wooster - Wait list
Kenyon - accepted with aid
Grinnell - Wait list, no aid
Denison - accepted with aid
Cornell - denied

So you see, even with a normal GPA and ACT, he had his choice of St. Olaf, Macalester, Luther college (his safety), Kenyon and Denison.

So, please don't lose heart based on what you read here. Your kid will do just fine.



Fantastic. And Macalester is a very good school. I wonder if the wrestling helped? I really think it does!

PP here, thank you I think football and wrestling helped, he is playing both sports.
[Post New]04/13/2017 08:41
quote
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:

OP here. My kid is in a magnet HS in MCPS. Straight A's. 1560 SAT (taken only once, he is not keen to retake again because of lack of time). Not a sports person. Participates in 4 clubs. Belongs to a couple of scholastic honors societies. 300 Hours of SSL - various local charities and volunteer work he has been involved in since MS. Leadership position in a couple of clubs. Goes for a few competitions from his clubs - wins a few. 7 APs (Mainly 5s) by end of junior year.

I have been told that he should not even bother to apply to the top schools because he should have done things that differentiates him from other students. Examples that I was given of charities that were founded, travel to 3rd world countries etc., Interning at NIH, Intel competition etc. - is not something we can afford because of lack of time and money.

I do not have a problem with him applying to state public colleges as long as he does something that he will enjoy (he is equally good in Humanities and STEM).

Thank you for your replies. I am actually beginning to feel a lot better now.


Who on earth told you this? They should be shot. Seriously, with these stats, he should apply to all the top schools. You mentioned that he's been volunteering at the same places since middle school--don't forget the value of this demonstrated loyalty in a world where everyone is running around trying new things to pad their resumes.

Please do not pass your anxiety on to your amazing child. He will get in to top schools and...most importantly...do well in whatever he chooses to do.


[Post New]04/13/2017 08:51
quote
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:
The good news is that there are options and workarounds. For example, in CA you can be guaranteed admission to an UC if you go to community college for 2 years and meet certain criteria (classes taken and GPA) - this even applies to Berkeley! No, it's not a glamorous path, but your diploma will still be from the college you graduate from. There are alternate pathways in this area as well, I'm just not as familiar with them because my kids are toddlers. Seriously, start talking to other parents and doing some research.


I love that a mother of toddlers is recommending community college to the mom of a junior with a 1560 SAT and straight As! Only on DCUM.

OP, your kid can probably get into the best public universities in the country and many schools in the top 30.


I'm the mom of toddlers. First of all, you cut out the part of my response where I said perfect grades and 99th percentile SATs already weren't enough when I was in high school over a decade ago. This sentiment is not new. Parents have been complaining about this for a long time - it's crazy to get to HS without having a plan A, B and C.

Also, Berkeley is one of the top schools in the country so I don't understand the snark.
[Post New]04/13/2017 08:57
quote
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:

I initially had sympathy for you OP, but now I am just blown away by your lack of connection to reality (and I have a student at H/S/Y). Please do not ever mention your concerns to a parent going through the process with you as it will only serve to unnerve and depress them. Of course your child will be admitted to at least one top-10 school with those stats, and certainly to two or more top 15 colleges with those statistics. Stop your worrying you will only make everyone around you very anxious.


+1
OP being overly dramatic. And not all kids who get into the tippy top schools are the conniving, loaded climbers you make them out to be.
I have a HSorY kid as well, and he did not start a charity, dig holes in any third world country, win any national competitions, or patent any new invention. He worked hard in school, figured out his own (local and mostly paying) summer opportunities, and built solid relationships with mentors. Yes, he's a naturally good test-taker and well-rounded in leadership, academics, and athletics. No, he's not a URM.
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