I am losing heart.

[Anonymous]

I am writing as the parent of two college grads (one with a graduate degree) who were two completely different kinds of students. Each is successfully "launched" -- self-supporting in a job that he/she enjoys overall.
This angst in the D.C. area is very overblown (my kids were in a different location for the first half of their childhood; here for the second).
Fact (and I've read all the books!): Experts list 100 to 200 colleges as offering top-notch educations for the best students. My DD went to one of those; my DS went to an excellent, supportive liberal arts college that was perfect for him.
Fact: It's not really a "screwed-up system" -- it's a screwed up D.C.-area way of looking at things. Admittedly, it is difficult not to get caught up in the competition, but remember -- come September if your DD or DS is enrolled in college, it won't matter any more where he did or did not get in (that is, if he or she doesn't have hysterical parents and friends).
Fact: Yes, tutoring and other things may help a bit, but only in limited circumstances. Colleges and universities understand the different schools and geographic areas that high school students are applying from. For example, my DD had very strong grades in tough classes, but her PSAT scores weren't great, so she enrolled in an SAT prep class, and that did help. But, if the classes she chose and the grades in those classes hadn't been very strong, that would have helped very little.
By the way, I visited Carleton and Macalester with my DD -- fantastic schools! It was snowing in October; she ended up applying early somewhere else. If I remember correctly, Macalester is very strong with need-based aid. Really, you could get a wonderful education at so many places such as the Honors programs at many state universities (just as an example). You would find many other extremely bright students who could not afford to go anywhere else there.

Most of all, I feel bad for the students who are put under such pressure. A good work ethic and resilience will carry you far, wherever you attend college. I just tried to shield my kids as best I could from the whole thing when they were seniors in high school. They also were allowed to (gasp!) do social things and just enjoy themselves sometimes (of course, there is a lot of growth and maturation that goes on during the high school years in many ways -- not just cognitively).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It seems that excellent GPA and SAT is no longer enough. EC activities have to be supplemented with trips to teach underprivileged children in 3rd world countries. And you have to be able to afford the said trips to foreign countries. You have to know people to get internships and recommendations. All this in HS.

I just feel that I have failed my kids because this is just so overwhelming.

I'm the person whose kid needs between 3-5 classes before they could technically take the MCATS, whose kid was rejected from alma maters, and who is Yale Medical School legacy and whose kid can't get into a college with good stats:

This is my DC's mountain. DC, who is affluent, tutored friends who are more affluent, who got into fantastic schools. DC went throughout school with great kids, albeit nowhere near the same academic level, who are going to top notch schools.

You didn't fail your kid: the admissions process screwed our kids. It can't continue. In my old life I used to get federal funding for one of the schools - and others - my DC was rejected from. I was in love with one university because of the personal pride I took in the future renewal of the area and the coalition I was part of. Did I tell the admissions people this? No.

So, my advice is to use every connection you have to make the decision easy for the admissions team. My DC heard her entire life how I worked from the age of 7 and she wanted to it by herself. My family was 30 years from shirt sleeves (me) to shirt sleeves (daughter). Not the "American Dream."

So where is she actually going to go to school? Are you complaining just because she didn't get into Yale? Nobody has a right to go to Yale. Something must have been off with her application or her choices of schools to apply to, if her peers all go into better schools and she literally got in nowhere.

She didn't apply to Yale and only applied to one reach. Something must have been majorly off with her application - because it couldn't be related to NCED stats - and something *must* be off with my judgment for expecting a kid with stats within reach to get into a top 75% college.

What are "NCED stats"? I haven't heard this term, and google is not helping. I also don't understand what you mean with the reference to a "top 75%" college. Do you mean one that's in the top 75 schools listed in the US News & World report ranking list? Something else? Trying to make sense of what's going on here.

[Anonymous]

None of you have any idea what you are talking about

Here are the two questions I need to know

1. Is the kid Asian
2. Is the kid in the top 10% of the graduating class

If he/she is Asian or not in the top 10% of the graduating class he/she will not get into a great school. Even if non-Asian and top 10% of class it's still completely random to get into a great school

Those are the facts.

Now he/she will definitely get into UMD and be completely happy. I would send my kid there....

A previous poster indicated admissions counselors don't highly regard international service trips. Would an admissions officer also view an applicant's claim of being a caucasian with the same skepticism if their parent was born in an Asian country but, isn't Asian?

[Anonymous]

I don't think all the expensive ECs are necessary My son was admitted to Wesleyan, Bowdoin, Dartmouth, UMCP and several other Catholic schools. He is white and has no hooks. He averaged A- at a Catholic HS with 32 ACT. He did almost no ECs except he played three sports and was elected captain in two of them by his peers. He is extremely social and well liked and this must of come through on his app and recommendations. The guidance counselor s seemed shocked but my guess is that schools wanted a happy social type to balance all the intense kids.

[Anonymous]

What are "NCED stats"? I haven't heard this term, and google is not helping. I also don't understand what you mean with the reference to a "top 75%" college. Do you mean one that's in the top 75 schools listed in the US News & World report ranking list? Something else? Trying to make sense of what's going on here.

I apologize; my data source is www.nces.ed.gov

DD visited her school she was accepted to and loves it. We are so proud of her because she took control of this entire process without using a consultant and ended up with 100% merit scholarship. I use this source to try to determine population trends in her desired major since this school isn't well known (yet) for its exmissions to medical school. It does seem as though there are a few areas where the admissions officers thought she wasn't sincere if people on this board don't think certain efforts that made her who she is today were sincere.

One thing is certain: I'm hiring the best consultant we can afford for the next DC who is up.

[Anonymous]

People on these boards seem to be do myopic with their views of what is s "good" school. For most, it is about conveying status, not about ensuring the best fir for their child. They end up with children who hate them.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I understand where OP is coming from. I am totally disillusioned with all of this maneuvering to get to the head of the line for the best colleges.

People are gaming the system with Prep that helps kids score higher on the SAT. They are studying to take a test better and better. So what does the SAT even mean? How well you can cram for a test, it's not a true measure anymore.

Schools hand out A's like water under the pressure of helicopter parents. A 4.0 means your kid is average now. So now kids have to take AP to get into colleges.

Wealthy people pay for tutors for the kids to spoon feed the course work to them. Do the improved grades mean they are smarter, more dedicated or just pampered students?

Lord help the kids that fall behind early on because they go to a lesser school. The road is too long and steep to catch up in this educational rat race.

I am sick of it. This uneven playing field isn't serving any of these kids (rich or poor) well. College is going to weed out a lot of these kids, but it probably won't be their fault at all.

Now we have DeVoss. That's the last nail in the coffin.


Cut it out. DeVos has nothing to do with higher ed. That falls under the still-to-be confirmed Assistant Secretary of Post-Secondary education. DeVos hasn't done all the horrible things the NEA said she would do. And she hasn't touched higher ED. Educate yourself before posting.

[Anonymous]

^^huh? De Vos is secretary of education. she's already started to screw up higher ed with her student loan policies. your NEA blaming isn't going to fly here.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:^^huh? De Vos is secretary of education. she's already started to screw up higher ed with her student loan policies. your NEA blaming isn't going to fly here.

+1

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:^^huh? De Vos is secretary of education. she's already started to screw up higher ed with her student loan policies. your NEA blaming isn't going to fly here.

No, that falls under the Assistant Secretary of Post-secondary Education. There is no confirmed Trump person in that position now. In fact, there is only an Obama acting in that office. Nothing is happening. Nothing would ever happen before an Assistant Secretary is confirmed. You are listening to NEA fake news. Please take it to politics.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am writing as the parent of two college grads (one with a graduate degree) who were two completely different kinds of students. Each is successfully "launched" -- self-supporting in a job that he/she enjoys overall.
This angst in the D.C. area is very overblown (my kids were in a different location for the first half of their childhood; here for the second).
Fact (and I've read all the books!): Experts list 100 to 200 colleges as offering top-notch educations for the best students. My DD went to one of those; my DS went to an excellent, supportive liberal arts college that was perfect for him.
Fact: It's not really a "screwed-up system" -- it's a screwed up D.C.-area way of looking at things. Admittedly, it is difficult not to get caught up in the competition, but remember -- come September if your DD or DS is enrolled in college, it won't matter any more where he did or did not get in (that is, if he or she doesn't have hysterical parents and friends).
Fact: Yes, tutoring and other things may help a bit, but only in limited circumstances. Colleges and universities understand the different schools and geographic areas that high school students are applying from. For example, my DD had very strong grades in tough classes, but her PSAT scores weren't great, so she enrolled in an SAT prep class, and that did help. But, if the classes she chose and the grades in those classes hadn't been very strong, that would have helped very little.
By the way, I visited Carleton and Macalester with my DD -- fantastic schools! It was snowing in October; she ended up applying early somewhere else. If I remember correctly, Macalester is very strong with need-based aid. Really, you could get a wonderful education at so many places such as the Honors programs at many state universities (just as an example). You would find many other extremely bright students who could not afford to go anywhere else there.

Most of all, I feel bad for the students who are put under such pressure. A good work ethic and resilience will carry you far, wherever you attend college. I just tried to shield my kids as best I could from the whole thing when they were seniors in high school. They also were allowed to (gasp!) do social things and just enjoy themselves sometimes (of course, there is a lot of growth and maturation that goes on during the high school years in many ways -- not just cognitively).

+1

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:^^huh? De Vos is secretary of education. she's already started to screw up higher ed with her student loan policies. your NEA blaming isn't going to fly here.

No, that falls under the Assistant Secretary of Post-secondary Education. There is no confirmed Trump person in that position now. In fact, there is only an Obama acting in that office. Nothing is happening. Nothing would ever happen before an Assistant Secretary is confirmed. You are listening to NEA fake news. Please take it to politics.

Heed your own advice.

[Anonymous]

Good grades and good SAT/ACT will still get you into a good state school. Chill.

[Anonymous]

OP, I understand why you feel blindsided. If it makes you feel better, years ago, my guidance counselor also tried to convince me not to apply to the top schools, but I went ahead and applied anyway and ended up at an Ivy. You never know what the differentiator might be - your child might write an amazing essay, or click with his interviewer, or his teacher recommendations may stand out. I know it is harder getting into the top colleges these days, but it is still worth a shot.