Husband stinks because he is lactose-intolerant
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Anonymous
| My husband has the worst gas in the world. He can make the entire room stink for hours. He is lactose-intolerant but refuses to stop drinking milk, eating ice cream, and cheese. He laughs it off, and joking says sorry, but it makes me not even want to be around him. One day after picking up my son from school there was this horrible sewer smell and my son asked if it was daddy. I have asked him not to drink milkshakes and he gets mad. I don't think he realizes how horrible it smells. I've suggested he see a doctor but he also refuses. I don't know what to do, he complains I don't give him enough affection but when he smells like that I don't want anywhere near him. |
Anonymous
| Ugh. Mine too. I am seriously considering divorce. |
Anonymous
| Why can't you just buy him some lactaid? I am lactose intolerant and would be annoyed to have to give up milkshakes when there's such a simple solution. |
Anonymous
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OP, have you told him point-blank, coldly and not in the moment when he's slurping a milkshake, that this issue has genuinely turned you off sexually and you find the smell repellent, and that you feel disrespected and dismissed when he just laughs it off? If you've tried to tell him this seriously and he still blew it off, I would set up a time when no kids or anyone else is there and he does not have any excuse to run such as "I've got to leave for X in five minutes!" Then sit down and say you need his attention and a serious discussion. Don't say what it's about in advance. And tell him: He's turning you off physically with the smell; worse, he's turning you off by being dismissive and jokey and acting as if your senses and comfort are silly; and finally, HE may now be so used to the smell that he cannot really smell how bad it is, but his kid can -- and surely his coworkers and boss can too, so this may even mean he's getting known for it at work but no one has had the guts to tell him yet. Tell him that he owes it to his family to look after his health and to be sure he's at his best at work and it's time to treat this like the medical condition it is.
It sounds as if he immaturely fears having to give up foods he wants. Tell him he may not have to give up much in reality but he has to see a doctor (make the appointment and go with him so he can't come home and say "I'm fine and it's normal!"). Are you at the point where you'd threaten to make him sleep in another room because of the smell, or you'd sleep in another room? He might need that kind of ultimatum but I hope not. If he's still resistant you might need to enlist someone like a friend of his who is willing to say, "it's not some funny farting thing, it stinks and the rest of us smell you. Not funny for an adult." Unfortunately some people just cannot or will not hear hard truths from their spouses but will hear them from a friend.[guardian] |
Anonymous
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Well I hope you're not being intimate with him. I hope you've told him that there's serious trouble ahead if he doesn't take you seriously. Drag him to the doctor and have the doctor explain what the options are. |
Anonymous
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I keep a canister of lactaid on the kitchen counter and carry it with me everywhere.
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ZachF
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There is your answer. Tell him that as directly as you wrote it here. Make him understand it's a choice he has to make. |
Anonymous
| How can he not be grossed out? I am intolerant as well and when I over do it on dairy, my gas smells like rotting eggs. It is gross. |
Anonymous
+1 also lactose intolerant and have fructose malabsorption. Not only does my gas stink when I disregard my issues, but my breath. I make sure to eat accordingly and at the very least, if I really need a milkshake, I take 2 lactaid. I carry the little packs of them in my purse and keep them in the cars. |
Anonymous
I can smell it on my body (underarms). It is like being a walking cheese stick. |
Anonymous
| Why doesn't he just take lactaid? |
Anonymous
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I could've written this except my husbands lactose intolerance makes me laugh like hell. It is so rotten smelling and wet and loud sounding and goes on forever. I have to traipse through the mixed combination of our dog's and DHs farts when I come to bed at night. I'm like Catherine Zeta Jones walking through the red lasers. It bothers him more than me because it actually hurts his belly. Doesn't it hurt your DH? So mine takes Lactaid when He feels the need to.
Have you ever had a dog that startles, then barks or whines at its own fart when it scares him? That's pretty much my DH when one of his rancid egg farts comes out. He twitches and convulses and makes a "yipe!" sound. Makes me LMAO every time. If he's not already aware of the sex issue I guess I would tell him that that's becoming a problem for you. I feel like if you leave the pills out on the kitchen counter in the food prep area he will take them. Then he might notice that his gut hurts less. |
Anonymous
| This was my DH years ago. But much worse! I lived with a sewer monster. And he was miserable, he went to Dr. and was told there is no definite test, but drink some and if you are unwell, stop it. I finally had enough of his, "but I don't drink any milk" and asked him what the heck he eats his cereal with? Milk! Even that was enough for non stop runs. I told him to stop if not for himself than for me. He stopped taking any milk and now for years all is good! |
Anonymous
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Throw away all the dairy in the house.
Buy some almond milk and dairy free ice cream. This sounds so gross. I applaud you for staying married. |
Anonymous
| Lactaid pill. If he is going to continue consuming milk products then he needs to take these with his first bite of food. I am lactose intolerant as is my husband and my daughter. There is no stink issue in our house because we are aware of a problem and deal with it. Occasionally we miss hidden dairy product in food but not often anymore. OP if your DH is unwilling to take the pill or eliminate dairy from his diet then I would say you have a bigger problem that probably need marriage counseling at this point. |