school anxiety suddenly
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Anonymous
| I agree if it's a 2-3 week issue, you might not need to change schools - just maybe figure out the issue. Friends, work, a bad teacher, a bad week that set off other bad events? I would ask teacher and counselor at the school first. Private school is expensive and not always 100% better. I have a kid I moved from public to private for ADHD and it is better mostly but it isn't always better and we are considering moving him back. School refusal can happen at both schools and actually public schools are better at that because it is a law you have to attend. If you stop going to a private school they will first try to get your kid to come and then kick them out. At a public school you can get school support (or police support for older kid) to force them to attend. Of course, you don't want to force him. You want him to go willingly. But it's also not the right lesson that if there is a problem, you can easily just find another school. Try to work it out first, |
Anonymous
| The previous poster is a bit odd, but whatever. It might be a good plan to have weekly therapy, consider some medication (even if it's something temporary just to get the anxiety down enough so he can focus on therapy), and just do whatever it takes to power through the end of the year. Take him to look at new schools -- I bet some will consider him for the fall. That might give him hope. A few kids from public have come to our private because they were very unhappy at public schools for various reasons, a few kids mid-year, and their parents say they are very happy. I would avoid Washington Episcopal School. |
Anonymous
| OP, I'm 21:07 and I highly recommend Washington Episcopal School based on our last 2 1/2 years of experience there. Sorry to hear pp had a different experience. |
Anonymous
| It's the time of year when teachers are feeling lots of pressure about upcoming standardized tests and are putting lots of pressure on the kids before spring break rolls around. This may be a contributing factor if his anxiety has recently gotten worse. |
pbraverman
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There are a lot of opinions above that seem well intentioned. Some of them nonetheless offer quasi-diagnoses for which insufficient information is available and qualifications are not offered. (I presume none of those quasi-diagnoses come from somebody with qualifications, for the simple reason that a qualified professional would not offer a diagnosis under these circumstances.) The situation is hard for any parent and there are a thousand ideas — but what I think the OP needs is a strategy. First, I agree that trying to understand the source of your son's anxiety is important. There are very good therapists in the area who specialize in anxiety. If the OP is happy with her (his? — I'm going to use female pronouns with apologies if that's not right) child's current clinician, stick with it. If not, and the OP wants to contact me offline (see below) I'd be happy to recommend a few who have worked with presentations of school anxiety effectively in my experience. Second, it sounds like it might be important to have a formal diagnosis. The OP's statement that "we are usually the only ones who see" his AD/HD and anxiety, along with the affirmative statement that her son "does have ADHD ... and anxiety," makes me wonder about when it was diagnosed, what type of professional diagnosed it, who prescribed the meds, and how long ago those decisions were made. If the son is ahead of the pre-adolescence curve, or if the diagnoses are more than two or three years old, it may be time for an update, since changing body chemistry will almost certainly affect his neuro-psych profile. Third, it's hard to predict whether smaller schools and class sizes will have much impact without visiting schools and evaluating those visits. An independent school environment may well help — or it may only obscure a challenge lurking below. In any case, admission offices will be very busy reading applications and later meeting in admission committees, but most will welcome visits in the early spring. There is no harm in contacting schools now, with the understanding that they may put you off for a few weeks. Finally, don't be deterred by missed deadlines. Most schools in Montgomery County will have spaces available even after the March 1 notification date. Again, I'd be happy to help put together a list if the OP would find it helpful. Hang in there, OP. School anxiety is among the issues that can flare as children enter puberty (again, I don't know if that's the case here but it wouldn't be surprising), and they usually resolve. With some clear ideas about how to proceed, it's likely your son will come through this just fine — though you're right that it may take some effort and deliberate steps on your part. He's lucky to have such a caring parent. Peter _____________________ Disclaimer: The anonymity here makes me uncomfortable; it's easy to be uninformed, personal, or simply mean-spirited if people don't identify themselves. For that reason, I have an account so you know whose words you're reading. I have more than 20 years' experience as a teacher and administrator in independent schools, and I hope I can be helpful to some folks. If you don't like something I've said, you're in good company — there's a long line of past students ahead of you.  If you want to chat further, please feel free to contact me offline: peter <at> arcpd <dot> com
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