MIL and her "alone time" with DH
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Anonymous
| My MIL insisted on having alone time with my husband every time we see her. It's annoying. We travel to see her as a family and she wants to take an afternoon to hang out alone with my husband. God forbid she should see her grandchild which she can only hand in "small doses". We are going to see her for 4 days for thanksgiving. She doesn't let us stay in her home so we stay in a hotel with a rental car etc. she would like to spend the afternoon on Friday from 12-4 with DH. Im annoyed. Not a whole lot to do without a car and I'd like to be together as a family. Is it normal for MIL to do this alone time thing? |
Anonymous
| Well that's just rude. Could you drop DH off and take your child to a playground or something with the car? |
doodlebug
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| Make DH take the kid too and you go to a day spa or a movie or something. |
Anonymous
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I don't see anything wrong with wanting to spend alone time with him but if she lives there why does he need the car.
Can't she pick him up? I am not a MIL but they can't win on DCUM. We complain if she wants to spend time with the DIL we complain if she doesn't want to spend time with the DIL. Craziness. |
Anonymous
| How often do you see her? While I don't think leaving you without a car in a hotel is ideal, I also don't see anything fundamentally wrong with wanting to see your child alone. Maybe you can stop being a sour puss and go to the mall during that time. Now everything is about you. |
Anonymous
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That is weird. She can come pick him up.
But you do realize this is really YOUR HUSBAND'S fault, right? She can want and ask for whatever. It's on him to discuss with you what is reasonable, and communicate a final decision back to her. |
Anonymous
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I have sons and would never do this.
Your MIL is a weirdo. And what does your husband say about this nonsense? |
Anonymous
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Without a car? Hell to the no. Drop him off at noon at her house. He can take a cab or Uber back to the hotel.
This is like the third thread I've seen in 2 days about ILs wanting "alone" time with their adult child. I'm 50 years old with both parents alive and healthy. Same for spouse. Never heard of this or experienced it. When we visit or they visit, it's family time for all. Spouse and I get alone time because our parents will happily babysit. |
Anonymous
THIS. She could ask or even "insist" to be called Queen Helena and to be served jelly beans on a silver platter. It's up to you and DH whether you will accommodate her wishes. |
Anonymous
| I don't think it's that big a deal, but I'd certainly make dh leave me the car. Is your child still at a napping age? |
Anonymous
| Op, you present it like it's rude. Maybe she presents it this way too. I don't know. The idea, itself, isn't outlandish. |
Anonymous
| You sound like a pain in the ass. No wonder she wants to spend time without you. It's only 4 hours for goodness sake! With her son that she presumably very rarely sees. |
Anonymous
Looks like OP's MIL found this thread. 
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Anonymous
| Just drop him and the kid off at her house and go get your hair blown out. |
Anonymous
| I cherish my time alone with my teen son. I don't see why she can't pick him up is she still drives. I hope that we'll be able to catch up once in awhile even when he is married and have some talks. My DH also had a special bond with his mom. I don't understand this constant jealousy and codependency younger women show today. I have nothing against my DH hanging out with his Dad without the rest of us. This idea is part of US culture, it is not common in most other cultures. It is the idea that it is all about me having a special moment, as opposed to families functioning like one big community. But, it is a sign of affluence that people can do that and think that way. You are thinking the same way, and begrudging her 4 hours alone with her son. Put yourself in her position some 20 years from now. |