Why do people dislike the Big Three?

Lab
Member Offline
I'd break OP's question into two parts (although I'm not sure OP intended to ask both parts):

(1) Why do people hate the label "Big 3"? That's the question most people seem to be answering here. I think the answer is clear -- lots of people think their own schools are just as good or better than the three schools that people commonly associate with the label "Big 3." They hear the term "Big 3" and hate that it might suggest their own schools are somehow lesser. Personally, I think the term is useful shorthand for DCUM, and I'm not offended by it at all, but I generally don't care what others think about me or my kid's school. Still, I can understand why others are bothered, even if I think they're over-reacting.

(2) Why do people hate the particular three schools associated with the term "Big 3"? I think that's a tougher question because I suspect that many people have different reasons for their hatred. For a few, maybe they had a child at the school and did not like it, but I've only seen a few times on DCUM where people claim they pulled a child out of one of these schools over dislike, so I suspect that's pretty rare. For some, maybe it's that they have met some parents or kids from these schools and did not like them. But if that's the reason, I think it's a silly one because each of these schools has hundreds (thousands?) of kids/parents, so I doubt anyone has met enough to draw a valid assessment. For a lot, I suspect it's just that they think people who attend these schools think they're superior -- not really jealousy, but human nature.

FWIW, I've often wondered the same thing. I've never seen any reason to dislike any of these schools, or any other school for that matter. I toured several schools, and know parents/kids at several. I like some better than others (not only schools, but also parent/kids), I've never seen much reason to hate any place as much as some people here do. Maybe I just need to get out more.
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:Jealousy I think. I know several people that were dead set on going to one of the big threes. They loved the school and raved about it until they didn't get in! Now they have completely turned against the school and all of a sudden hate the school. It is so obvious that they are jealous and were shocked they didn't get in. There are the big 3 just like there are the ivy league schools. There are schools just as good as the Ivy League schools but not as hard to get into and don't carry the same prestige. That is just how it is. The same in DC. Schools that are just as good as the Big 3 but will never be considered a Big 3. Stop fighting the labels and don't worry about it! There will always be the Big 3 that carry the most prestige in DC. While my child doesn't attend a Big 3, I am from DC and know how it is and have no problem with it! The most prestigious really are Sidwell and St. Albans as most people nationally know these two schools.



OP, the above comment alone should answer your question. But, here's my 2 cents anyway. I didn't know who/what the Big 3 was until I came to this board to start researching schools. I came to this board to find out about the range of schools in the area, so I'd know where I'd like to eventually apply. Yes, I visited the so-called Big 3, which I believe is no more than self proclamation deemed by parents at the school. I also went to a multitude of other open houses. Other than maybe some big name families at some of the schools & some impressive landscaping, there wasn't much more, in terms of the curriculum, that blew the other schools away. I made of my mind what the "Big 3" was for me, & applied to those, & am very happy with where my child was accepted. I agree with one of the other posters who said the name should be changed to "social 3". That's fitting.
Anonymous
How about calling them the "connected 3"? Because that's what really sets them apart from the others. Not quality of education, but the social set that goes there.
Anonymous
Because "the pedophile 3" would unfairly smear two other schools?
Anonymous
What sets the three a part is they are 1) Strong academically 2) Begin in Pre-K and are connected through the 12th (Cathedral schools being a modified path, but a path no less).
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:What sets the three a part is they are 1) Strong academically 2) Begin in Pre-K and are connected through the 12th (Cathedral schools being a modified path, but a path no less).


Off the top of my head I can think of at least two schools that fit your point #2 and are superior on point #1.
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:You say you're "fairly happy" with your daughter's Big 3. Congrats, and we got into one too.

What you haven't explained is why you think it's better than anybody else's school. There are lots of schools in the area with fabulous teachers, great academics, and even good facilities. There are not so many with tons of connected parents.

So go ahead. The ball is in your court. Why is your school better than, say, St Anselms?

OP here: I never said that my school was any better than any other school. We visited many schools.. and coming from out of the 'social area', we didn't care about connections at all. (We're from South Carolina for God's sake! The only think that ever came out of SC was Chris Rock. )

My question simply is.. Why do people automatically get this obnoxious air whenever you say your child attends a Big 3? (Not calling it a bgi three... but the actual name of the school?)

We encountered this problem back at home. There were about 3 private schools in the county.. two were small Christian schools that everyone thought were nice... and then there was the Day School... and people thought absoltuely the worst things of that school. My daughter had the worst problem when she was in public school, because the other students automatically hated her for coming from there.

Coming into DC... I thought it would be different because of how many options there are and how it seems so common place for students to go private because most publics are substandard. But it's only a hundred times worse.
Anonymous
No one outside of this forum uses the term, so it is really a manifestation of message board antipathy.
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:

Coming into DC... I thought it would be different because of how many options there are and how it seems so common place for students to go private because most publics are substandard. But it's only a hundred times worse.


The problem isn't other people's reaction(s). The problem is your faulty assumption that underlies it all. There is no "Big 3" and the only people willing to play along and pretend there is, similarly are families of the "Self-important 3."

Everyone who IS from here already knows this. The problem isn't us, it's you.
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:

Coming into DC... I thought it would be different because of how many options there are and how it seems so common place for students to go private because most publics are substandard. But it's only a hundred times worse.


The problem isn't other people's reaction(s). The problem is your faulty assumption that underlies it all. There is no "Big 3" and the only people willing to play along and pretend there is, similarly are families of the "Self-important 3."

Everyone who IS from here already knows this. The problem isn't us, it's you.[/quote]

I think this comment is a little uncalled for. The OP isn't from the area, & clearly got caught up in the "Big 3" hype created on this board, just like a majority of the people from this area. Agreed, there is no Big 3, just something created to elevate one's own importance. As one poster said, define what "Big 3" is for you, & go with that. -
Anonymous
I'm curious as to what schools people consider academically superior to the so-called Big Three (a term I've never heard IRL, by the way) and why.
Anonymous
When all posting is anonymous, there's no way you can know whether all the "Big 3" hype comes from people who actually send their kids to these schools or from people who, for whatever reason, think they want to send their kids to these schools. I'm guessing the second category is well-represented, since lots of the "Big 3" posts seem based on stereotypes and generalizations rather than practical knowledge.
Anonymous
"Big 3" seems to be used primarily by people who have kids in these schools (like OP). And maybe a few others like Lab, above, who says she uses it as shorthand. OP claims she doesn't see why using the name is so bad, but this seems disingenuous because the word "Big" itself implies that everybody else is just ... well ... somehow "lesser".

So maybe the rest of us should just stop using it. If we need shorthand, we could use "Social 3". I'd also be up for "Loud Three" or "Connected Three". "Self-important Three", while maybe technically correct, is a little hard to type, unless condensed to "SIT".

Just so you know my motives -- we turned down a Social Three.
Anonymous
Well good for you. As a member of one of the so-called "Big 3", I can attest that the term is not used in any context in real life. In fact, other than this forum, I have never seen the term used in reference to the schools referenced.

I think the outlook of 09:11 speaks for itself.
Anonymous
"a member of one of the so-called 'Big 3'"?

I think THAT speaks for itself.
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