Why do people dislike the Big Three?

[Anonymous]

I think the theme in recent posts should give everyone a sense of relief: There is a big world beyond DC's independent school scene. And thank goodness for that!

[Anonymous]

I don't care why people dislike the Big Three.

[Anonymous]

7:09 here. The oldest is a rising kindergartener at a school he loves and where he seems to be thriving. He complains when it's not a school day. That's all we really want right now.

I've been a big fish in a small pond (top-25 but not top 10 first grad school, average high school) and a small fish in a big pond (top college, #1 second grad school in my field). Both suited my purposes just fine, furthered my enjoyment of learning and intellectual curiosity and got me where I needed to go. I'll share that perspective with my kids when it's time and let them make their own decisions.

[Anonymous]

7:09 are you an academic?

[Anonymous]

no, but I have a lot of post-doctoral education.

[Anonymous]

7:09 I would love to know where you stand on schools in seven years and again in 10 or 11 years! I was carefree when my child was in kindergarten.

[Anonymous]

Thanks for answering! I'm starting to think that the more time you've spent in universities, the less likely you are to believe in "the Big Three" or "the Ivies" as useful categories, at least from an educational (rather than a sociological) point of view.

[Anonymous]

8:21 here. I shared 7:09's perspective when my kid was in K. Hasn't changed yet (5 years out) and if it does change during the last two years of HS, I'll think I was being irrational then rather than that I'm being irrational now.

Our attitude really isn't rooted in optimism vs. pessimism, or a sense (or lack) of urgency, or uncertainty about our kids' personalities or talents. It's about an understanding of what is and is not at stake in the decision about where to go to college. And about maybe about your relationship to education (what do you want from it? how much is what you get out of it a function of a particular school?) and/or your vision of what a good life is.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Thanks for answering! I'm starting to think that the more time you've spent in universities, the less likely you are to believe in "the Big Three" or "the Ivies" as useful categories, at least from an educational (rather than a sociological) point of view.

Presumably not your intention, but that sounds rather smug.

[Anonymous]

and "Big Three" doesn't?

Is it "rather smug" to say that if you're an adult you're less likely to believe in Santa Claus than if you're a kid?

In fact, to suggest that the more time you spend around universities, the less you think certain ones are the be-alls-and-end-alls doesn't really seem smug since the whole premise is that access to particular universities isn't all that. So the authority being claimed is more self-deprecating that self-aggrandizing.

[Anonymous]

It is smug. You're saying, "I know more than you do."

Just because you have lolly-gagged around universities your whole life not wanting to live in the real world doesn't mean you have reached nirvana.

[Anonymous]

Smug. And the 14:13 post correlates the poster with adult and the other person as a child ('Is it "rather smug" to say that if you're an adult you're less likely to believe in Santa Claus than if you're a kid?'). Perhaps an earnest comparison without thinking through the implications? Or perhaps a semi-subtle put-down?

[Anonymous]

Most people who post here are claiming, in some sense, to know more than other people. Why is it smug to say I see this differently because I've had a different set of experiences? 13:50 didn't claim she was right. She just said she didn't really believe in "The Big Three" or in "The Ivies." Doesn't mean you can't believe in them.

Instead of Santa Claus, I flashed on the old saying about how you'd be less interested in eating sausage if you saw how it was made.

[Anonymous]

What about condescending? Who doesn't know the following:

And, of course, in a field like drama, where academic credentials are not usually essential, the relative scarcity of university-based programs is supplemented by alternative ways to hone your craft and enhance your marketabiity. So it's not just faculty but agents and directors deciding who has talent and various coaches and Rep groups providing training.

It makes me think of Weekend Update's Really?! Geez, Louise. (And MFA's might be terminal degress but they are not close to a Ph.D. by any stretch.)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Most people who post here are claiming, in some sense, to know more than other people. Why is it smug to say I see this differently because I've had a different set of experiences? 13:50 didn't claim she was right. She just said she didn't really believe in "The Big Three" or in "The Ivies." Doesn't mean you can't believe in them.

Instead of Santa Claus, I flashed on the old saying about how you'd be less interested in eating sausage if you saw how it was made.

The Santa Claus tatement was smug. There is no Santa Claus. There are the big three. And the Ivies. And the people who don't like that (the fact these terms DO INDEED exist... yes Virginia there is a Beauvoir) are either (1) jealous or (2) disgruntled former students/parents.