I'm ashamed of my husband.

Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Maybe your dh knows this and was eager in order to impress you. I feel bad for the guy! Does he have friends?


Maybe he was trying. He always tries too hard, and it's just to much.

Did I mention the dancing? He had to convince everyone to dance, and I do love dancing, but he's so bad at it.

I suppose he always was a dork, it wasn't such a big deal when were younger, but I feel like the standard is different now that we're in our 30s.

As for why I married him he's a nice guy, smart, decent family, we had fun together, I guess I loved him.


You guess you loved him.

Your use of the past tense is telling.
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:I married a man who dressed well and was the toast of the party. He was also a cheater. Take from that what you will.


I married a man like OP's DH and he's been loyal for decades, but I was married to OP, I'd cheat. The guy I dumped for my DH made me feel the way OP describes her DH! Heed my warning OP -- you too can be replaced by the partner you disdain ...
Anonymous
^^
sorry: IF I was married to OP, I'd cheat ...
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote: This just hurts my heart for your husband. I don't know any answers, but I hope you don't make him doubt himself or feel less a man. Good luck.


+1. So sad. Everyone deserves to be adored by his or her spouse.
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:OP reminds me of a girlfriend I had years ago. She was never satisfied with what she had -- always looking for something better. Gorgeous, educated, nice family, but... spoiled and problematic. She always tried to get me to wear this or that when we'd go out too. So glad we broke up. Now, over 20 years later, she's nearly 50 and still unmarried.


God forbid that a woman should be 50 and unmarried. She must be a miserable failure.

Condi Rice.
Oprah Winfrey.
Diane Keaton
.

Actually, if I were any of above three, I would feel like something is missing. To me, even though they are rich and famous but it seems sad that they have no children/close family unit. Again, strickly my opinion.
Anonymous
I can see some of myself in the OP's husband.

I can admit that I would't be much of a catch for some highly driven, professional women.

What I don't understand, is how OP did't know that he wasn't her caliber before she married him?

Put the poor bastard out of his misery and divorce him.

Let him find someone who will appreciate him.
Anonymous
Op, im almost with you sister. My DH never shops, and with our crazy hours and a kid I rarely give his wardrobe any thought so I think he goes around like a bozo too lol. I gave him $400 to get some stuff at macys he comes home with more work dress pants and more white work shirts I wanted to kill him. It's like he just can't shop for casual wear or anything but bus professional.
ZachF
Member Offline
#$@#@
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:Op, im almost with you sister. My DH never shops, and with our crazy hours and a kid I rarely give his wardrobe any thought so I think he goes around like a bozo too lol. I gave him $400 to get some stuff at macys he comes home with more work dress pants and more white work shirts I wanted to kill him. It's like he just can't shop for casual wear or anything but bus professional.


Who gives a shit? Stop your whining.
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:
I have a friend like this. She was never satisfied with the nice guys, even if they were great. They just weren't good enough. Then she falls for these guys that are kind of out of her league and gets dumped. Now she is 38 and probably will never get married and have kids. I wonder if she prefers this life than settling down with one of her ex bfs.


Sounds like she got exactly what she deserved. Is she shriveled up?
Anonymous
You fools. Send this man to me! He has a job, he's dependable, he's all about family…I'll take him off of your hands. Wait to the day when he finds out how you really feel and then you'll find yourself alone and with your other shallow friends. Sure, it will be fun for a while but you'll come back to reality because it's a cold, hard world out there.
Anonymous
I am new to this board but I completely agree with you OP. Sorry for the delayed response. Marriage isn't JUST about love. There are practical matters involved too. If you don't trust your significant other to represent you respectably as a familial unit that is problematic. Call the OP superficial, but I think she is brave and you are all sheep. Bahhhh.

I am in a similar situation. I married my best friend but as I've grown to know him better I've realized that he likes to play the role of a jester instead of ever learning about anyone else. He rants and raves about played out topics and makes half the table roll their eyes. Including myself. I love the man, doesn't mean I have to love everything about him. I told him what bothered me and am hoping to see a change. If I don't, I'm out. He deserves to find someone who does love those qualities about him.
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:I am new to this board but I completely agree with you OP. Sorry for the delayed response. Marriage isn't JUST about love. There are practical matters involved too. If you don't trust your significant other to represent you respectably as a familial unit that is problematic. Call the OP superficial, but I think she is brave and you are all sheep. Bahhhh.

I am in a similar situation. I married my best friend but as I've grown to know him better I've realized that he likes to play the role of a jester instead of ever learning about anyone else. He rants and raves about played out topics and makes half the table roll their eyes. Including myself. I love the man, doesn't mean I have to love everything about him. I told him what bothered me and am hoping to see a change. If I don't, I'm out. He deserves to find someone who does love those qualities about him.


You are so selfless.
Anonymous
I like threads that pertains to my situation. I'm a divorce dad but in a good relationship now. The nice qualities I have was taken for granted and the bad exaggerated. My new gf and previous ones wondered why my ex bitched so much. For years I thought it was me but I know better now.
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I feel a little terrible for thinking this way, but it's the truth.
It's just when I see my colleagues with their spouses, my husband seems so basic and unsophisticated. He's embarrassing.
He's a terrible dresser with a bad haircut. I've given up on the hair, but I try to help him put, but even that doesn't help. Tonight I picked out a nice outfit for him to wear to dinner with our friends. What does he do? He some how gets it dirty , and comes back down dressed in a blue shirt and maroon pants. Of course we're running late so there's no time for him to change.
At dinner he orders way too much food, and gets a doggy bag. He doesn't need the extra food he's already too think around the middle. I seriously don't know how he has middle age pudge as he works out and is only 32.
If that wasn't enough I was cringing as he participated in the conversation. He didn't say anything wrong in particular, he was just a little to eager to participate and was stumbling and stuttering over his words, and repeated himself.
I try to focus on his good qualities. He has a steady job and career that he loves, and makes a decent income, but even that is a downside as he could be further than where he is if he were just a little more ambitious.
No, I'm not contemplating an affair, and I want a divorce.
I do wonder what it would be like to have a husband that was more impressive.


You want a divorce b/c your husband is unimpressive.

OP, do you realize how shallow you are? Even if the divorce part is a typo (Freudian slip), you are still extremely shallow. You should be ashamed of yourself.
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