How many of you go to church with your kids?

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[Post New]04/14/2009 09:59
Anonymous
My husband is very atheist, and I describe myself as "spiritual." I trend towards Buddhism, and as a yoga teacher, I have a hefty background of yoga philosophy.

I find it sad that religion has so completely co-opted morality in this country that even atheists and agnostics feel like kids should go to church. The more I think about it, though, the more it seems like church is a convenient time/place to introduce moral topics. Outside of the chapel, maybe we just need to be more creative in how we integrate these lessons.

My daughter isn't quite born yet, but I have spent a lot of time thinking about how to offer her a spiritual base without grounding it in any specific religious lean. I also want her to be prepared to respond to her peers, who will inevitably inform her that she's going to hell if she doesn't believe in Jesus (maybe this doesn't happen much around here, but I heard this kinda stuff growing up).

Thankfully I still have some time to keep thinking about this, but I did come up with a way to remix bedtime prayers with more universal language. Rather than "god bless" something, we are going to borrow a yoga mantra, wishing that all living beings are happy and free, and give special mention to friends and family and people in the world who need some extra love and support.

My husband and I are also thinking up our own family holidays/traditions as opportunities to introduce the concepts of service and giving, as well as the importance of being considerate of the community and the planet. I've got things like: soup kitchen day, habitat for humanity weekends, park clean ups, electricity-free camping weekends, etc.

As far as the cultural/historical aspects of religion - in my view they're not going to get an accurate picture in church. We never talked about the inquisition, crusades and various holy wars in my Lutheran sunday school class. And we certainly never talked about anything going on in Asia. The fact that I was Lutheran gave me some sense of religious disagreement (how else do you talk about Martin Luther?) - but not to the extent that would accurately portray the sometimes devastating impact that religion has had on world history - past and present.
[Post New]04/14/2009 10:06
Anonymous
This is the 8:57. I believe all religion is nonsense. I don't tell my child my opinion about religion, I just tell her that I don't think there is anything for us after death. I tell her that grandma believes one thing, me something else and give a general rundown of basic religious beliefs.

I find it offensive when any religious person acts like I need to be reverent towards a god that I believe does not exist. If I came to you and told you that I had an imaginary friend who required reverence, what would your reaction be?

And like every other atheist I know, we don't have trouble being tolerant of other people's beliefs or teaching our children morals.
[Post New]04/14/2009 10:10
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:I find it sad that religion has so completely co-opted morality in this country that even atheists and agnostics feel like kids should go to church. The more I think about it, though, the more it seems like church is a convenient time/place to introduce moral topics. Outside of the chapel, maybe we just need to be more creative in how we integrate these lessons.


I'm an atheist that allows my child to go to church. I feel like a large part of our culture has a basis in religion and that is the primary reason I let her go. I keep her away from extreme teachings of any church because I think they can be harmful. There is also a community aspect that I feel like she needs to understand. One day she will grow up and make her own decisions about religion, I just want her to have some information before she reaches that point.
[Post New]04/14/2009 10:19
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:OP here. 9:34, it's attitudes like yours that make me afraid of self-professed religious people. Yikes. Maybe church is not for me, after all. I'd rather hang with 9:46!

I am so sure there is plenty of room for you both. I don't think pp has an attitude. 9:46 has the attitude calling religion nonsense.


9:46 here. I didn't say that religion was nonsense. What' you're calling my "attitude" is actually your own lens seeing me. I'm going to show this to my good friend who is a protestant minister and was just named to the White House faith-based council. Maybe it will be the topic of our monthly breakfast where we explore the mysteries of life together. It'll be good for a chuckle, I'm sure.
[Post New]04/14/2009 10:19
Anonymous
We believe in God and are Christian and we go to church almost every week. Both my husband and I grew up in wonderful, loving, welcoming churches and it's important to me that our children grow up with the same experience. We love our current church and think it's a wonderful place for children to grow up. If our children decide on their own to explore other religions as they grow up, that's their decision, but we'll try to instill our faith in them in the meantime.
[Post New]04/14/2009 10:27
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:"A smaller reason, but serious consideration are schools within DC. As active parishioners, we have a bit of a leg up on others if we decide to enroll our children in our parish school. "

LOL, only in DC could going to church be somehow tied back to whether it gives you an edge in preschool admission.


It is a leg up. You don't understand how this procedure works. I'll summarize it for you - Catholic version. Parishioners are first in line for the parish school. (Siblings are automatically enrolled.) Next come Catholics who attend the sister parishes that have no schools. Then come the Catholics from other parishes. Finally, non-parishioners (other faiths) may complete an application and go through the school-readiness assessment, but they are not guaranteed spots.

[Post New]04/14/2009 10:29
Anonymous
I was raised in a pretty religious (Episcopalian) household, but I'm definitely the least religious member of my family now. I took my daughter to church on Christmas and Easter and will probably try to do so more often as she gets older. I'll be honest, though - I'm just not that "churchy" myself and probably never will be. It's kind of a pain to go down to my Georgetown church from my home in Fairfax, especially since church falls right during the only available child care hours at the gym. I don't like the churches closer to my home, so I'm kind of torn on what to do right now. I may just wait and worry about it when she's older - she's only 6 mos old now. But i would like her to have some religious upbringing. Her father is also pretty agnostic and doesn't attend church, but he supports her upcoming baptism and he's supportive of my plans to take her to church in the future.
[Post New]04/14/2009 10:40
Anonymous
If I were you, I'd visit a few churches (UCC, UU) near you and see if one feels like a good fit.

I was raised in a very liberal United Church of Christ church. We tried out a UCC church in this area but I realized that though the community was very welcoming, I was not entirely comfortable with the approach in that particular congregation--I couldn't comfortably say I believed in everything they were teaching. If it were just me, I could ignore some of the doctrine and enjoy the music and fellowship, but as a parent, I wanted to be sure that my kids were not being taught to believe things that I myself didn't believe in.

Later, we visited a local UU church and have found it to be a good fit for our kids. Their religious education programs are very strong, and I feel that the children are being taught values that I can support entirely.

If you are thinking about church largely for the sake of your child, 8 months may be a bit young. Many churches have nurseries, but most don't start actual Sunday school programs until 3, 4, or 5. But the nursery experience can be fun, too, if you're interested in starting to become a part of a church community before that.

Whenever you're interested in starting, you could start "church shopping" on your own (without your son)--perhaps one of you visiting a church on your own on a Sunday. It can take many visits to know how you like it, and make sure both you and your husband get a chance to go. It's important to take your child, too, but there's no point in dragging him around to too many places at first, especially if you're not sure it is a good fit. Then try it with your son--if he's in the nursery, you might want to stay with him there for a few weeks anyway, so you wouldn't get to see much of a service.
[Post New]04/14/2009 10:51
zumbamama
Site Admin Offline
I don't go to church regularly, but will occasionally visit the National Cathedral, a Buddhist temple or a Unitarian Church. My grandmother keeps asking me to take the kid to mass, but I don't feel it is crucial to their upbringing. I was brought up in a Catholic church, and have nothing against it...but I don't consider myself Catholic and I'm so not into religious labels. I feel you can get in touch with your spiritual side without the church or baptisms. Like the yoga teacher above, I am drawn to the eastern philosophies and enjoy learning about world religions objectively. Most of them have the same fundamental belief in god anyway, just different prophets and customs. Anyway, I'd rather spend Sunday morning yoga-ing with my kids trying to get them sit still for an hour in church. I never listened to the sermons anyway when I went as a child. But I don't think going to church is a bad thing for those who want to go.
[Post New]04/14/2009 10:57
Anonymous
We attend a UCC church nearly every week with our children. They love the Sunday school activities and music and get a good moral grounding there. It is not a doctrinaire church, and they do a good job with older kids (and adults) exploring the "grey areas" of faith and doubt. Lots of former Catholics and Episcopals there (myself included).
[Post New]04/14/2009 11:01
Anonymous
My concern for people who claim to be agnostic or aethiest is that I have to wonder how much they have really explored what that really means. I have met too many people who label themselves with those terms, but who have spent practically zero time researching what that means or what they've not chosen (other faiths or practicing religions), or they rely on stereotypes on what certain religions or faiths believe or do not believe. Too often it seems to be a "quick answer" or a substitute for actually spending time learning and making informed choices about pursuing faith or not. It's easy to choose a label or classify yourself when it doesn't require any (or little) work.
[Post New]04/14/2009 11:10
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:My concern for people who claim to be agnostic or aethiest is that I have to wonder how much they have really explored what that really means. I have met too many people who label themselves with those terms, but who have spent practically zero time researching what that means or what they've not chosen (other faiths or practicing religions), or they rely on stereotypes on what certain religions or faiths believe or do not believe. Too often it seems to be a "quick answer" or a substitute for actually spending time learning and making informed choices about pursuing faith or not. It's easy to choose a label or classify yourself when it doesn't require any (or little) work.


Oh, I don't think that's fair. Agnostics know concretely that they cannot possibly know if God exists or not. People of faith "choose" to believe there is a God. There is no proof either way. That's the whole basis of faith.
[Post New]04/14/2009 11:17
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:My concern for people who claim to be agnostic or aethiest is that I have to wonder how much they have really explored what that really means. I have met too many people who label themselves with those terms, but who have spent practically zero time researching what that means or what they've not chosen (other faiths or practicing religions), or they rely on stereotypes on what certain religions or faiths believe or do not believe. Too often it seems to be a "quick answer" or a substitute for actually spending time learning and making informed choices about pursuing faith or not. It's easy to choose a label or classify yourself when it doesn't require any (or little) work.


I'm curious what YOU think it "means" to be agnostic or atheist. I don't want to put words in your mouth, but you're clearly beating around the bush about something. What would one "research?" The consequences of not believing? Well the problem with that is you also have to believe in this consequences.
[Post New]04/14/2009 11:27
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:We are atheist. I see no need to drag my kids to church. That said, I will encourage them to read the bible when they are of the right age, and the Koran, to broaden their understanding of the kind of nonsense that many people believe in.


This is exactly why I do take my children to church...so people who believe all relegion is "nonsense" will not infiltrate their minds with lack of morals, hatred and intolerance. So sad.


I don't believe in any religion but I have morals, teach respect and welcome of all people regardless of religion or background, and we don't even use the word "hate" in our household, even for vegetables. I wonder how I will explain to my five-year-old that some people out there who think that people like her parents promote hate. That will be an interesting and sad conversation.


Good. Then your tolerance should extend to those of us who do not consider religion to be "nonsense." You should teach your children to respect others' belief systems even if they differ from yours
[Post New]04/14/2009 11:38
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote: What would one "research?"


I guess one would "research" what you are choosing, as well as what you are not choosing. The point of my post was that I have known too many people who claim to be agnostic or aethiest, not because of what it means to be either, but because they would rather not have to know what it means to have a faith or a practicing religion. It is easy to say "I don't believe in God" or "there is no God" than actually learn about faith, religion, etc., and make a conscious choice about whether to believe or not. I'm not judging it, I'm just saying that way too many people (I think) use those terms when they haven't really taken the time (and discipline necessary) to educate themselves one way or the other, and that seems like a lazy cop-out to me.
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