How many of you go to church with your kids?

[Anonymous]

I don't want to get into a religious debate, but the "Easter Party" thread brought to mind an issue my husband and I have been struggling with since before we conceived our 8 month old son.

Neither of us are religious, at all. I am an ex-Catholic, and my husband comes from a background of indifferent Protestantism (insofar as he isn't sure, but he thinks he might have been a Presbyterian at some point). Needless to say, we don't belong to any church, and we got married in a garden by a Justice of the Peace.

I'm not sure what, if anything, I even believe anymore. I guess that is the definition of agnostic. But, despite my rejection of my Catholic upbringing, I do believe that the years of CCD and regular attendance at Mass did have a positive net impact on my life, even if only from a cultural knowledge aspect.

So my DH and I have been debating about joining a church solely for the sake of our child. I am leaning towards the Unitarians, but my husband wants a relatively liberal Christian church (maybe United Church of Christ). But I am wondering, how many of you out there have completely eschewed religion for your children altogether? And, if so, are you teaching your child about world religions from a cultural/historical standpoint?

[Anonymous]

I am an atheist and the thought of sitting through a church service just makes me twitch. And yet I feel like my daughter should have some exposure to religion for the reasons you listed. She goes to church with her grandmother now. I will probably give her the option of going with friends as she gets older.

[Anonymous]

We're agnostic. We practice nothing, don't go to church, have no spiritual/social/cultural desire to do so. I have no clue if there's a God or not. Our children can take their own journey of discovery as they get older.

I was a little concerned by that Easter thread too. I just remember being taught, in Sunday School and religious books about the crucifying Jesus, and remember spending afternoons just imagining how painful it was to have nails in my hands and tops of my feet. I had nightmares for years. That, coupled with the cannibalistic imagery of the Eucharist, really turned me off of religious ritual as an older child. If there were a way to approach Christianity without all that stuff thrown in the faces of young kids, I'd be more open to it. So for that reason, I think the Unitarian Church would be good.

[Anonymous]

My children are not quite 3 and 1. We bring them to church with us on a weekly basis. We are members of a church for a variety of reasons of which one is the faith. There is also the community that we enjoy being a part of. Collecting toys during the christmas holidays and easter baskets during for those less fortunate are 2 starting points for teaching our children that we are very blessed. Having an extended network in times of need is nice. I have made dinners for families that are going through challenging health periods and just need an extra hand every once in a while. It is nice knowing that if needed, there is that community support beyond my own network of family and friends.

A smaller reason, but serious consideration are schools within DC. As active parishioners, we have a bit of a leg up on others if we decide to enroll our children in our parish school.

[Anonymous]

Although I was brought up Catholic, for many reasons (including my husband's previous marriage) we joined the Episcopal church when we got married. I eschewed religion for much of my life, and it was only after I got married, and perhaps because I got married at a later age (35) that joining a church community was something that I wanted to do. This feeling became stronger after I had a baby. Although I am Christian, I am not dogmatic at all and believe that whatever religious path you take would be valid. So, it had less to do with the religious aspect than the sense of community I felt. Perhaps its because we live in such a busy, hectic geographically large area that kind of curtails a general feeling of community. Although I am sure there are other ways to get that, for me, attending and joining a church made me feel as my family were part of a larger family.

[Anonymous]

We are atheist. I see no need to drag my kids to church. That said, I will encourage them to read the bible when they are of the right age, and the Koran, to broaden their understanding of the kind of nonsense that many people believe in.

[Anonymous]

We do. I like the sense of community and the time to reflect on things for which I am grateful.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We are atheist. I see no need to drag my kids to church. That said, I will encourage them to read the bible when they are of the right age, and the Koran, to broaden their understanding of the kind of nonsense that many people believe in.

This is exactly why I do take my children to church...so people who believe all relegion is "nonsense" will not infiltrate their minds with lack of morals, hatred and intolerance. So sad.

[Anonymous]

I grew up with a very anti-religion parent and was actively discouraged from participating in things like YoungLife. I would say that I was personally agnostic growing up.

I always felt very much an outsider in that most of my friends, boyfriends, then husband had some kind of religious upbringing -- I'm not talking Mass every morning, but some understanding and knowledge of Christianity and faith.

After doing some of my own reading of the Bible and other books (C.S. Lewis, for example) I decided to get baptized after I got married and attend church a few times a month with my family.

I share my own experience to say that I think you are doing your children a real disservice if you tell them religion is nonsense, or if you tell them your religion is the only truth or anything so far on the extremes. I plan to share with my children my faith in something larger than myself, my belief that the stories in the Bible may or may not be literally true, and that there are many religions but this is the one I have chosen and why.

[Anonymous]

"A smaller reason, but serious consideration are schools within DC. As active parishioners, we have a bit of a leg up on others if we decide to enroll our children in our parish school. "

LOL, only in DC could going to church be somehow tied back to whether it gives you an edge in preschool admission.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We are atheist. I see no need to drag my kids to church. That said, I will encourage them to read the bible when they are of the right age, and the Koran, to broaden their understanding of the kind of nonsense that many people believe in.

This is exactly why I do take my children to church...so people who believe all relegion is "nonsense" will not infiltrate their minds with lack of morals, hatred and intolerance. So sad.

I don't believe in any religion but I have morals, teach respect and welcome of all people regardless of religion or background, and we don't even use the word "hate" in our household, even for vegetables. I wonder how I will explain to my five-year-old that some people out there who think that people like her parents promote hate. That will be an interesting and sad conversation.

[Anonymous]

OP here. 9:34, it's attitudes like yours that make me afraid of self-professed religious people. Yikes. Maybe church is not for me, after all. I'd rather hang with 9:46!

[Anonymous]

You could explain Easter as the celebration of Spring, which is really how it began before Christ. If you do not believe in God, why would you want to child to believe. This doesn't make any sense to me. I do believe and want very much for my children to believe. I would not want them to go to church to learn morals or values because that is what I will teach them. What happens if they do believe every thing the church tells them and become fearful that their parents are going to hell for not believing. There are plenty of churches that preach that. I think that would be very scary to a child. Will you lie to your child and tell them you believe. Will you say prayers with your child? Seems a little odd. I am not saying don't take your child to church, I am for everyone believing. Can not fathom not telling your child about God. Maybe you should find a church that welcomes you and teaches "you" something, not your children. It sounds as maybe your are the lost one, not the child. I grew up going to an Episcopal church, would not make my children sit threw that torture. So boring. Methodist or Baptist are much more interesting. There are plenty more out there that are not like the Catholic or Epsicopal churches. Good luck

[Anonymous]

Do you care how many people go to Synagogue, Mosque, Temple, etc.? Does such activity impart cultural knowledge and historical impact, or does only church going suffice?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here. 9:34, it's attitudes like yours that make me afraid of self-professed religious people. Yikes. Maybe church is not for me, after all. I'd rather hang with 9:46!

I am so sure there is plenty of room for you both. I don't think pp has an attitude. 9:46 has the attitude calling religion nonsense.