holding boys back?

Forum Index » Schools and Education General Discussion
[Post New]02/10/2009 05:49
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Our son is doing just fine at one of the top private schools in the area. His birthday is in late June and was 5 for only 3 months when school started. I will say that I was shocked at the number of boys, in particular, who had been redshirted.

I wish parents would quit "gaming" the system, and just let their kids be kids and start school at the recommend age of 5.




Why? So they can all be told their sons have ADHD b/c they are expected to sit down, be quiet and pay attention for 6-7 hrs a day? Cmon. Have you visited a public school all day K classroom lately?


No, because they are ready to learn. Teachers are the ones who need to adapt. Boys are usually active and easily distracted but it doesn't meant they aren't ready to learn.
[Post New]02/10/2009 07:17
Anonymous
Have you visited a public school all day K classroom lately?


Why, yes, I have. I have two sons with July birthdays, they both started on time, and they did/are doing fine.

There are public schools that understand what it's appropriate to ask a 5YO -- of either gender -- to do.
[Post New]02/10/2009 08:02
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:
Have you visited a public school all day K classroom lately?


Why, yes, I have. I have two sons with July birthdays, they both started on time, and they did/are doing fine.

There are public schools that understand what it's appropriate to ask a 5YO -- of either gender -- to do.



Not mine! My son comes home w/ homework (don't get me started on homework in K) that he is supposed to do by himself (that is what we were told by the teacher at the Open House, conferences, etc). The homework used to be given as homework/classwork in 1st grade. I volunteer once a month in his class and see things that are in no way developmentally appropriate at all. The girls tend to hang in there but the boys (most of them) do look like they have ADHD. They are expected to sit and listen on the carpet and then sit and work for periods exceeding an hour and a half. The avg. attention span of a 5 yr old is 25 mins or so. Crazy. My son's teacher brought up ADHD at our conference and I nipped it in the bud. Many days there is no recess at all. They are inside for 6-7 hrs each day. PE once a week (w/ about 10 mins of that class devoted to actually moving around). The rest is sitting and listening and standing in line. My school system has taken away the choice for half-day K and now it is mandatory. My son hates school just a few months after starting. Pretty sad.
[Post New]02/10/2009 10:32
Anonymous
Five year old son with summer b-day (July) here in all-day kindergarten. Definitely has challenges staying on task according to the teachers and some apparent behavior issues about following routines at times. On the other hand, he has learned a lot, but nevertheless is somewhat behind (still, he wouldn't have learned as much in another year of preschool). Perhaps a candidate for ADD diagnosis (not a bouncing off the walls type of boy), but it could also be that kindergarten has become developmentally inappropriate on some levels for some kids. The school (public) has PE 3 times a week and daily recess. Where I think kids get shortchanged is at lunch time - they're expected to eat in 20 minutes, which strikes me as crazy. No regrets about sending him at 5 but we are considering options for next year.
[Post New]02/10/2009 10:47
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:We all know its happening. But 16 year-olds in 8th grade? I think that is what everyone is reacting to.


I think the situation is PERMITS not licenses. Seems many 'rnts of young kids don't know the situation. Yes there are boys without disabilities turning 17 in Jan through May or June of grade 10. So some will be 19 during the latter part of senior year in high school. Now have the actions of the parents put them at the forefront of academics and athletics as intended? Perhaps earned a spot on a team but.....
[Post New]02/10/2009 16:58
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Have you visited a public school all day K classroom lately?


Why, yes, I have. I have two sons with July birthdays, they both started on time, and they did/are doing fine.

There are public schools that understand what it's appropriate to ask a 5YO -- of either gender -- to do.



Not mine! My son comes home w/ homework (don't get me started on homework in K) that he is supposed to do by himself (that is what we were told by the teacher at the Open House, conferences, etc). The homework used to be given as homework/classwork in 1st grade. I volunteer once a month in his class and see things that are in no way developmentally appropriate at all. The girls tend to hang in there but the boys (most of them) do look like they have ADHD. They are expected to sit and listen on the carpet and then sit and work for periods exceeding an hour and a half. The avg. attention span of a 5 yr old is 25 mins or so. Crazy. My son's teacher brought up ADHD at our conference and I nipped it in the bud. Many days there is no recess at all. They are inside for 6-7 hrs each day. PE once a week (w/ about 10 mins of that class devoted to actually moving around). The rest is sitting and listening and standing in line. My school system has taken away the choice for half-day K and now it is mandatory. My son hates school just a few months after starting. Pretty sad.


Oh wow! What district is this? This is SO war-on-boys. So sorry, PP!
[Post New]02/10/2009 17:02
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:We all know its happening. But 16 year-olds in 8th grade? I think that is what everyone is reacting to.


I think the situation is PERMITS not licenses. Seems many 'rnts of young kids don't know the situation. Yes there are boys without disabilities turning 17 in Jan through May or June of grade 10. So some will be 19 during the latter part of senior year in high school. Now have the actions of the parents put them at the forefront of academics and athletics as intended? Perhaps earned a spot on a team but.....


In what school district(s) is this reported to be a problem? If the existence of 19 year-old boys in H.S. is any way epidemic and problematic there must be news reports of it somewhere.
[Post New]02/10/2009 17:12
Anonymous
Do you want your 14 year old DD in the same school as a 19 year old senior male?
[Post New]02/10/2009 18:08
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:Do you want your 14 year old DD in the same school as a 19 year old senior male?


My son would be 18 as a senior in high school and turning 19 in the summer, right before he heads off to college. Holding back was suggested to me by his teacher and was not our thought at all. Actually I am always told how smart etc... he is so I was totally shocked when she recommended this. I am not trying to play a game with the system or anything like that, I just want what is best for my child. Unfortunately, I just don't know and my gut isn't telling me what I need to know like it normally does. Yes, some people play the game, as I think their explanations are disgusting. However, that being said, I am concerned of my child being 5 when others are 6 to 6.5. There is a huge difference there.
[Post New]02/10/2009 18:28
Anonymous
Many private school high school kids will turn 19 during their senior year, girls included.
[Post New]02/10/2009 18:30
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:Do you want your 14 year old DD in the same school as a 19 year old senior male?


I am generally opposed to redshirting--although perhaps surprisingly, now more sympathetic to parents who redshirt after wading through earlier debates on this topic--and also the mother of two girls, but I have to say this is relatively low on my list of fears. In turning from 18 to 19, does a boy (or young man) suddenly become a dangerous predator?
[Post New]02/10/2009 18:37
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:Many private school high school kids will turn 19 during their senior year, girls included.


Not that many--just a handful of June babies. I don't think many kids with birthdays earlier than that get redshirted.
[Post New]02/10/2009 19:23
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:Do you want your 14 year old DD in the same school as a 19 year old senior male?


Name one school district with a statistically significant population of 19 year-old senior males.

{crickets chirping}

By the way, your prejudicial hysteria is not a good rationale for public policy.
[Post New]02/10/2009 20:56
Anonymous
Not mine! My son comes home w/ homework (don't get me started on homework in K) that he is supposed to do by himself (that is what we were told by the teacher at the Open House, conferences, etc). The homework used to be given as homework/classwork in 1st grade. I volunteer once a month in his class and see things that are in no way developmentally appropriate at all. The girls tend to hang in there but the boys (most of them) do look like they have ADHD. They are expected to sit and listen on the carpet and then sit and work for periods exceeding an hour and a half. The avg. attention span of a 5 yr old is 25 mins or so. Crazy. My son's teacher brought up ADHD at our conference and I nipped it in the bud. Many days there is no recess at all. They are inside for 6-7 hrs each day. PE once a week (w/ about 10 mins of that class devoted to actually moving around). The rest is sitting and listening and standing in line. My school system has taken away the choice for half-day K and now it is mandatory. My son hates school just a few months after starting. Pretty sad.

Oh wow! What district is this? This is SO war-on-boys. So sorry, PP!


This is in a Baltimore County K classroom. Apparently, in first grade, the kids work straight from 9am until lunch at around noon. Then, instead of recess, they come back to the classroom for an hour of math. If there is time, they may get 10 mins outside before they go to their special class. PE is once a week.
[Post New]02/13/2009 17:12
Melody94
Member Offline
Anonymous wrote:i have heard that that is a trend of holding back boys with later birthdays? is this seem to be the norm for this area? if so, how does one go about doing so and why? am i at a disadvantage if i choose not to hold my son back? does that mean that he will then be 1 1/2 younger than those that have been held back?


I have two boys both with late Sep. birthdays. My oldest was more than ready my second not so much. It had nothing to do with their ability to learn the material but more with their maturity and confidence level. I held my second son another year and I am happy that I did. He is a completely different child and I know it was the extra year that gave him the confidence to be the successful 1st grader that he now is.

I would speak with his pre-k teachers and ask for their assessment. Studies show that boys don't show problems until middle school which can be worse than u keeping him back another year now.

Forum Index » Schools and Education General Discussion
Go to: 

Search   Recent Topics   Hottest Topics