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Working moms - help me figure out how to get more quality time!
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Anonymous
Just curious. I never co-slept so I don't know much about it. But do people co-sleep b/c they don't get to spend much time w/ their child during the day? Is that a reason? I always thought it was b/c the baby/child had trouble sleeping on their own. I have the opposite issue. I spend 24/7 w/ my DC and am looking for ways to spend LESS time w/ him. If it isn't one thing.... |
Anonymous
| I think it is like that for all of us. For me it is getting a little better as he gets older. I guess we just get used to it (well, I hope). |
Anonymous
I am in the same boat. Our 7 month old son goes down around 6 or 6:30. I usually spend an hour with him in the evening, much of which time is spent feeding or bathing. It seems like I almost never see him. But i think he needs the sleep and if he's cranky....he goes to bed. He sleeps for about 11 hours at night. I try to do the chores while he's in bed so that I have alot of free time on the weekend to hang with him
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Anonymous
| I am NOT a morning person, but my DD (9mo) is. Even when she is getting enough sleep, she gets really crabby by 6PM. Now she is in bed by 6:30PM and wakes around 6AM. I still don't love getting up that early, but she is so happy and snuggly in the early AM that it is totally worth it. |
Anonymous
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For now, it sounds like this sleeping schedule works for your baby, so those are the hours you have.
YOu can definitely make that time quality. Don't spend a ton of time cooking dinner when you get home. Plan ahead so you spend minimal time making dinner, and more time enjoying it together. Now that it's nice out - go outside and play as soon as you get home. If dinner that night is oatmeal - who cares? Play and have fun. If you can take off an hour or two early once in a while, plan something fun to do. Or take a day of vacation every few months. Those little outings really help you feel like you're not missing out. For instance, I recently took off a few hours to go to a special lunch at pre-school. I make sure that I don't forget that the little kid things are more important than a few hours of work. Your baby will eventually stay up later (though I think the PP with a 10:30 bedtime is likely not the norm. My 4.5 yo goes to bed at 8). They become less demanding to be held, and more happy just to be with you - so you don't feel pulled in so many directions. By 1.5 your child can sit on the kitchen counter and "help" you make dinner. At that point, all the time between when you get home and he goes to bed is quality time together. Good luck. And enjoy your weekends!! |
Anonymous
| PP here: That should read "bed at 8:00" ; smiley not intended. |
Anonymous
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Is there any way that you can come back earlier on day mid-week. I come back at 4pm on Wedns, that way the week feels short.
At 11 month, DD sleeps 8pm to 6:30am and I leave for work at 8:15am and am back at 5:30pm except on Wedn. Also when she seems tired, we lie down on the sofa and read books. She loves it. We also read books during the dinner and the bath, so that the routine stuff become a great time together [we started that as she never accepted me feeding her]. |
Anonymous
| 13:54 poster.... we cook her dinners on Sundays and freeze them, also my husband cook our dinner while I put DD to sleep and we eat afterwards... so my time between work and her bedtime is time for her only. |
Anonymous
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I don't have much to add, but I'm in a similar schedule with my 9 m.o. daughter. As pps said, we've either cut out chores or we try to do them after DD goes to bed.
Examples: hired a housekeeper to come once every 2 weeks (less expensive than I thought), I order from drugstore.com, diapers.com, amazon, etc., to minimize grocery shopping time (may start using peapod also), and do quick runs to the drugstore or grocery store at lunch at work rather than after work. DD often falls asleep in my arms when I'm burping her after nursing her for her last feeding of the night, and sometimes I just hold on to her for a while instead of putting her in her crib right away, just to eke out a little more quality time. I know how you feel! |
Anonymous
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13:54 here:
Different things work for different families, but why don't you all eat together as a family? Even if she isn't eating the same foods as you, dinner time is definitely high-quality family time. Your dinners will be more rushed, but you may end up feeling like you got more time out of it. THen you and DH can do bath and bedtime together too. We almost always share bath and bed - read books together, etc. It really makes it feel like quality time for the family rather than a chore that we're splitting. Just a thought... |
Anonymous
OP here. Those are great ideas. My problem is that my baby tends to be so fussy during those hours that it's difficult. He gets decent naps -- I would say on a bad day 3 naps totalling 2 hours, on a good day 3 naps totaling 4 hours. I think the problem is he never takes one of those really late-day naps, like from 5:30 - 6. they tend to be at 9:30, noon, 3, something like that. |
zumbamama
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That was my reason for co-sleeping. I treasured the snuggle time when I worked insane hours. |
Anonymous
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Anonymous
| OP, it sounds to me like your baby may need to go to sleep earlier. I know that won't help with the quality time situation but everything I've read suggests that babies that age tend to go to sleep before 7pm. I'm in the same boat (DS is 7 months, usually asleep no later than 6:45pm and I get home at 6pm) and it sucks but I feel like it is important for him to get his sleep. Sometimes when I get home at 6 he is so fussy and tired that he falls asleep the minute I start to nurse him. I just tell myself that he will go to sleep later when he gets older and that I need to maximize when I see him on the weekends. The only good thing about him going to sleep early is that it gives DH and me lots of quality time together and lets me get out to see my friends every now and then which is great for my psyche. |
Anonymous
so then what time does your baby wake up in the morning? |