Working moms - help me figure out how to get more quality time!

[Anonymous]

Quality time is what you make it. I love the weekends when I can be more focused on my daughter, but I've also come around to thinking that our weekday time is just as good. I am with my daughter for almost exactly one hour in the morning, and most of that time involves getting her dressed, feeding her and then getting us both out the door to daycare and work. But I love this time! There's time for some snuggles, and a few songs and games as we eat and get dressed. I don't think of that time as any less valuable than going for a walk or playing with her on the floor. It's the evening that's more of a challenge for me because I'm tired when I get home and don't always have a ton of energy to be highly interactive with her. But there's still a good hour-and-a-half of reading, maybe some playing, exploring the house (she's a toddler), and then bath (which she loves) and bed. It still bothers me that I am only with her for 2.5 hours a day, but I don't think of that time as "not quality" time. Rather than trying to adjust your schedules, you might trying adjusting your attitude as to what constitutes "quality" time.

[Anonymous]

I ignored the advice to put baby down sleepy, but awake. We did dinner, bath, and then rocking with music or story. I just rocked her and kissed her on the head until she fell asleep. My husband did the same thing. I also ignored almost everything except baby on the weekends and outsourced as much possible. As a consequence I am only now getting to home improvement stuff that I have been wanting to do for years.

[Anonymous]

Lots of good ideas here. One question for you, OP...

Having been in a very similar position, I was able to sometimes wrangle a work-at-home day once a week or so, or even a half-day until I felt better about it/baby went to bed later. Is this a possibility with your line of work?

Either way, continue to enjoy the hours that you have, and gobble up your baby all weekend.

[Anonymous]

Any way you can adjust your work hours a little around your baby's schedule? My toddler has been on a 8:30-7:30 sleep schedule since she was a few months old. I got my boss to agree to a 7-4 schedule (with occasional variation if job requires). I get up early - 5:30 am (a little late now that we stopped nursing) - and am at work before DD is even awake. DH gets her ready in am, and gets about an hour with her, and then goes into work a little late. I'm home by 5, so get one nice block of time with her. This arrangement means less time for DH and me, but we each treasure our time with her, and try to protect weekends as family time.

If that's not a possibility, even for one or two days a week, I second some of the PP's suggestions about minimizing what you have to do when your baby is awake and with you - prep meals in advance (night before or weekend) or make basic meals (sometimes we have yogurt, veggies, and wheat toast - no cooking at all), and engaging in quiet cuddly activities (reading books, singing, etc) that will give you good time but hopefully soothe some of her crankiness at the same time.

[Anonymous]

we actually were able to get our 6 mo old on a later schedule by having a late nap 4-5:30. she's happy till at least 9pm although she is also able to sleep till around 8. we have nanny so i know that gives more control over things which may not be possible in many situations. but if not i agrwee with folks who suggest a lunch time visit or some kid of staggered hours. I always go back online and work from 9ish to 11ish. and i would certainly delay any dinner prep until after bedtime if you're not already.we're very low key on the dinner stuff anyway since it's not a priority for me or my husband

[Anonymous]

Sounds like your baby's sleep is great and the evening crankiness is totally normal! Unfortunately, I would disagree that there will be less sleep when the baby gets older. Our kids still sleep a good 10.5-11 hours a night (in bed at 8). The struggle for more quantity and quality is really challenging!

I would second the recommendation to come home early at least one day a week. It makes such a difference to be able to come home and get some playground time or other activity rather than just rushing through the evening routine and dealing with end-of-day crankiness. Not only is it great to have the bonding time with your baby, it's really refreshing to be out on the playground when you normally would be cooped up in an office.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Lots of good ideas here. One question for you, OP...

Having been in a very similar position, I was able to sometimes wrangle a work-at-home day once a week or so, or even a half-day until I felt better about it/baby went to bed later. Is this a possibility with your line of work?

Either way, continue to enjoy the hours that you have, and gobble up your baby all weekend.

I can, but then I'm just plopping baby down and not really interacting because I'm trying to get work done. I am considering trying to work from a coffee shop right near the nanny share and then go nurse him, then head to work, occasionally.

[Anonymous]

It sounds like my 5 m.o. DD is on a similar sleep schedule: she goes down around 7:30 and is up by 6am. I get home from work around 5:30pm, so have a good couple of hours with her then. I also get up before she does in the morning (usually by 5:30AM), so I'm completely ready for work (except for chaning into my "work" clothes), before she wakes. Once she's up, I can totally focus on her before I have to leave for the office at 8. She is really great in the morning, so I would not want to lose that time with her by sleeping later and then have to shower, etc., while she's up.
But I totally relate to all of the posters who do not want to "cut-into" time with DC by doing other stuff - running errands, etc. I don't have a solution to that, other than to strive to be as efficient as possible in everything. Tall order, and I'm sure to fail at some point, but that's my goal for now, at least.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, it sounds to me like your baby may need to go to sleep earlier. I know that won't help with the quality time situation but everything I've read suggests that babies that age tend to go to sleep before 7pm. I'm in the same boat (DS is 7 months, usually asleep no later than 6:45pm and I get home at 6pm) and it sucks but I feel like it is important for him to get his sleep. Sometimes when I get home at 6 he is so fussy and tired that he falls asleep the minute I start to nurse him. I just tell myself that he will go to sleep later when he gets older and that I need to maximize when I see him on the weekends. The only good thing about him going to sleep early is that it gives DH and me lots of quality time together and lets me get out to see my friends every now and then which is great for my psyche.

so then what time does your baby wake up in the morning?

My DS who goes to bed at 6:45pm usually wakes up (on his own) between 6:30 am and 7.

[Anonymous]

I vote too for a long nap late afternoon. Baby is less cranky in the evening, and can go to sleep around 8-8.30.