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Working moms - help me figure out how to get more quality time!
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Anonymous
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So I've been back at work a month and my baby is a great child care situation from 8:30 - 5:30. But I feel like I never see him! He's a great sleeper and seems to want to go down earlier and earlier, so he is basically asleep from 8 or 8:30 until 7 a.m. DH and I split the pickup/dropoff duties, but basically, I typically nurse him in the wee hours of the morning, sometimes nurse again before work, try to get some cuddles and QT in before work, and after work, he is usually kind of cranky....it can be a struggle to get him to stay up until it's time for the bedtime routine which we typically start around 7;30. I love doing the bedtime routine, the baby is so happy during that time, but I really miss the days of maternity leave when I could spend so much more time with him, put him down for naps myself, etc.
Please no flaming about how I should stay-at-home -- it's not a financial option right now, though maybe in a few years. I'd just love to hear from other moms about how they find time to bond with baby, and especially when baby is a little cranky at the end of the day. Thank you!! |
Anonymous
| I don't mean this to be harsh AT ALL but I think you have to accept your child's schedule and that you might not see him that much during the week. If the baby is cranky, he probably needs to go to bed a little earlier. I think that the best thing you can do is make sure thta you have quality time on the weekends somehow. |
Anonymous
It will get better. Your child will soon stay up later and later. Enjoy the time that you can spend with him now and stop worrying. My son use to be in bed my 8 when he was about a year old. He will be two on Sunday and stays up until about 1030 on the weeknights now. I am lucky to have in home care for him while I work though so I don't have to worry about waking him to go to daycare. He will typically sleep until around 10AM. Enjoy the weekends and plus Summer is right around the corner, he may want to stay up a tad bit later since it will still be light outside. Good Luck. |
Anonymous
I thought 11 hours of sleep a night (interrupted by 1 feeding) was about what a four month old should be getting...but you think he ought to be getting even more perhaps? |
Anonymous
| Since going back to work, this has been my greatest problem. I feel like there just arent enough hours in the day and then I feel incredibly guilty stopping on my way home form work to run an errand bc I dont want to cut into our already short time together. As a result, I started going grocery shopping at 6am before DC wakes up or letting stuff go for way longer than I should (i.e. havent had my hair colored in 4 months even though my roots are halfway around my head!) |
Anonymous
It sounds like the amount of sleep he is getting is great (lucky you!) but maybe his natural rhythm would be to go to bed slightly earlier and get up slightly earlier. If they are cranky they are often overtired. |
Anonymous
I don't think his sleep has anything to do with his crankiness. He gets 11 hours of sleep. That's excellent. I am 30 years old and I still get cranky right before I go to bed too, it's human nature. |
Anonymous
It is so hard. I feel like my work day is already quite short, and I don't overutilize child care, and pick him up early/drop off late whenever I can, but I miss him so much. I love the nanny and I'm so glad he likes her, but I am jealous that she gets to see him all day and when he's at his best! 
Sad mommy. |
Anonymous
I feel exactly the same way
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Anonymous
| How is he napping at daycare? My only thought is that he may not be getting enough sleep during the day, which would make him crankier in the evenings. Unfortunately, if you can't adjust your work schedule or his sleep schedule-- and I wouldn't suggest the latter-- I think you just have to work around his waking hours. My first month or two being back at work were very hard, but it gets so much easier as you adjust to the routine. I try to take care of as many errands and chores as I can during the week so that my weekends are free for fun activities. Grocery delivery, hiring a cleaning service, running to CVS during lunch, etc. Also, it sounds like your baby is still very young. For me, once my daughter got older, the mundane tasks we do together seemed more like quality time. For instance, instead of rushing to the car when I pick her up from daycare, I let her walk beside me, which invariably leads to stopping and examining some rocks, picking up some leaves, etc. She also likes to "help" do things around the house like handing me the groceries while I put them away. It will get better! |
Anonymous
| It'll get better - I promise. Those first few months when they are still sleeping longer are hard. Once they are sleeping less and can go to bed later, it'll be better. Also, do as many things as you can at night after he is asleep or first thing in the morning so you can as much free time as possible on the weekends (and aren't stuck grocery shopping/etc) |
Anonymous
| co-sleep |
Anonymous
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OP - I'm in the same boat you are. I went back to work 5 weeks ago (DD is now 15 weeks). In our case, DD wakes up (well, we wake her up most of the time) at 6 am. I feed her (and love that time with her) and get her ready. My husband takes her to daycare - we both head out the door at 6:45. I pick her up between 4:15 and 4:30. DD is all smiles and happy. We go home and I wash her hands and feet (if not getting a bath), and change out her clothes, bib and pacifier (to keep germs from daycare at bay as much as possible). Then I feed her. DD usually starts to get sleepy by 5:30 and most nights is konked out by 5:45 - 6 at the latest. Some nights she's up later.
The first couple of weeks at daycare she didn't go to sleep until closer to 8. Not it's all she can do to stay awake past 6. She takes 3 naps at daycare - but they don't last long (average of about 1 hour). I hate not spending much time with her during the week. We too currently have no choice - I have to work. However, she is all smiles when I pick her up every day - so I know she's (1) getting good care and (2) is well rested - so her 6 pm sleep schedule is right for her. |
Anonymous
| Any way you can see him during the day - even once or twice a week? That really made it for me - but my daycare is very close by. I pretty much spent every lunch hour there. |
Anonymous
| Does your husband have the same problem? |