Would you discipline a 3.5 year old for this?

Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:ignoring?
that's why later on when they become teenagers they kill the parents, they shoot clasmates, they kill themselves...
YES you MUST discipline because he is doing it on purpose and he intends to hurt you!


You are crazy. Why do I have the feeling you are the same crazy poster from all the other threads?

What do you suggest? Belting the kid or something??? If this is really how you think, then I'm really very worried for your children.
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:ignoring?
that's why later on when they become teenagers they kill the parents, they shoot clasmates, they kill themselves...
YES you MUST discipline because he is doing it on purpose and he intends to hurt you!

totally agree. Children need guild lines and discipline. WIll you ignore him when he is 15 and tells you to go to hell. If you do not nip it in the bud, it grows large. Discipline is not a bad thing. It is a good thing when done right. Time out is not bad, it is a time for thinking.
Anonymous
i tend to say something like "don't say that. it's not nice. i know you're mad, but you can say 'i'm mad!' and not be mean."
Anonymous
We've recently been working with our almost 3yo on how to handle her little meltdowns as well. When she's in the middle of a tantrum we just keep repeating to her that we know she is angry for xyz, but that if she calms down we can talk about it. It seems to be working because now she will have the tantrum but calm herself down much sooner so she can tell us that she is angry for xyz.

The other thing we told her *at a time when no one waw angry* was that even when we are angry or upset at her we still love her very much and that we hoped she still loved us when she was angry with us. We've explained it several time - when we put you in a time-out, we still love you.

So, in the middle of a tantrum on the way home the other day she calmed herself down to tell me that she is "still loving me even thoough she is angry with me". I thanked her for telling me that and I understood she was angry. I also didn't know whether I should laugh or cry.
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:ignoring?
that's why later on when they become teenagers they kill the parents, they shoot clasmates, they kill themselves...
YES you MUST discipline because he is doing it on purpose and he intends to hurt you!


You are crazy. Why do I have the feeling you are the same crazy poster from all the other threads?

What do you suggest? Belting the kid or something??? If this is really how you think, then I'm really very worried for your children.


don't be ridiculous.
being aganist "ignoring" doesn't mean "beating up the child to death"

there's always an equilibrium point where you'll be able to teach the child without traumatizing the pour soul

if you don't know it I feel sorry for YOUR children.
zumbamama
Site Admin Offline
OP, I think you handled the situation well. When this happens to me, I will first nicely try to explain why her language is inappropriate and give her a better example of what she could say instead. If she still tries to be nasty then I give a time out.
Anonymous
yummy yummy
Anonymous
First of all, this is normal behavior. I recall reading an article in Parents or Parenting about how the appropriate response is to remain calm and say something along the lines of, "I'm sorry you are frustrated with me right now." And the response to the "I hate you" or "I don't love you," etc. is something along the lines of "Well I love you very much."
Anonymous
lol

alright... "i'm sorry you're frustrated..."
do you really believe a child can understand what you mean?

oh please!
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:lol

alright... "i'm sorry you're frustrated..."
do you really believe a child can understand what you mean?

oh please!


These kind of answers we give for ourselves so we won't grab them by the arm and throw them in their rooms to get them out of the way...

sigh...
zumbamama
Site Admin Offline
instead of "frustrated" you can use the kid word ~ mad. They would understand "I'm sorry you're mad..."
Anonymous
Trolls are a perfect example of how IGNORING bad behavior can lead to its EXTINCTION. This is why people tell us not to "feed" the troll.

Read the book, the Kazdin Method of Positive Parenting. He SWEARS punishment is NOT effective and research proves this.

Now I'm not saying if the kids whacks his sister you ignore it. Obviously you intervene to protect the sister. But you don't get all carried away with punishment and over reacting.

Instead what you do is praise him and reward him when he is nice to his sister (just an example).

If the posters child likes attention and likes spending time with mommy, the best approach is when he acts up, to move away from him, to another part of the room. Pick up a book. Put him in HIS room for a time out if you must. You are depriving him of attention and he will learn that tantrums are pointless because they don't get a reaction. Acceptable behavior gets the attention.

Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:lol

alright... "i'm sorry you're frustrated..."
do you really believe a child can understand what you mean?

oh please!


Why do you think a child can't understand that you are sorry they are frustrated. My 2.5yo appropriately tells me when she is sad, happy, angry, frustrated, loves me, etc. If you use the words enough to describe what they are feeling some will pick it up. I agree that the same techniue does not always work for every child, but this works for us.
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:lol

alright... "i'm sorry you're frustrated..."
do you really believe a child can understand what you mean?

oh please!


Why do you think a child can't understand that you are sorry they are frustrated. My 2.5yo appropriately tells me when she is sad, happy, angry, frustrated, loves me, etc. If you use the words enough to describe what they are feeling some will pick it up. I agree that the same techniue does not always work for every child, but this works for us.


my child would understand what that means too. it's more about the tone than the vocabulary. but even the vocab isn't hard to learn.
Anonymous
yum yum
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