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Would you discipline a 3.5 year old for this?
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Anonymous
| In moments when he is frustrated or upset my 3.5 year old son has recently started to say things to me like, "I am going to call you pee pee" or "You will not ever be my friend." Clearly, I am not personally upset by these remarks, but the intent behind them is clear - they are meant to be insults. We have spoken about nice words and not nice words and things that he could say (such as "I am angry" or "I do not like that"), but he continues. Every time that he does this I say, it is not OK to say that to anyone and send him to a 4 minute timeout. How do others handle this? |
Anonymous
| He is engaging you in a power struggle and he is winning. I would flat out IGNORE these comments and focus on getting him to use his feeling words concerning what is really bothering him. I child who starts to insult (which is COMPLETELY normal) is feeling frustrated and wants YOU to feel frustrated and has found a way to do that. Don't buy in. He will keep upping the ante, lose-lose for you. |
Anonymous
|
At 3.5, I would not spend a lot of time on the insults, but would devote more energy helping him to express himself about the real issue. I would probably say something like, "that is not a respectful way to talk to someone. I think you're really mad because I wouldn't let you have ice cream for breakfast. Is that right? You know, you can just tell me that you're upset about the ice cream." Then I would try to segue into a discussion about the ice cream (or whatever).
Good luck. |
Anonymous
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Haha..Sorry for laughing..but that is funny.
I would do as the PP suggested as well, good luck with your little guy! |
Anonymous
|
Kazdin (positive reinforcement parenting book) would tell you to ignore the behavior.
Walk away, and when he engages you nicely, be enthusiastic. |
Anonymous
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Deal with whatever got him frustrated and that behavior. If you respond to the name calling, you will reinforce to him that he can take his frustrations out on you.
He will say many worse things to you before he moves out. |
Anonymous
| I agree with how you have handled it. Sound like you are right on. |
Anonymous
| When my DS went through a "then you can't be my friend" phase, I would say, "that's fine with me, because my job is to be your mommy, not your friend." |
Anonymous
He is trying out new things to see how you react. Don't react to it and just like most behaviors, it will go away if it isn't given attention. I agree that you need to give him positive attention when he is acting or talking the way you expect. Lots of little girls in my neighborhood talk like that so it is only a matter of time before my 3 yr old tries this on me 
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Anonymous
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ignoring?
that's why later on when they become teenagers they kill the parents, they shoot clasmates, they kill themselves... YES you MUST discipline because he is doing it on purpose and he intends to hurt you! |
Anonymous
| 22:24, stop drinking. |
Anonymous
| 22:38, read the paper |
Anonymous
| My 2.5 year old has started to do this a little - he says "bad mommy." Its all I can do not to laugh. My response is a modified/combination of what has been recommended here - I tell him once, "its not nice to talk to mommy like that, we should talk nicely to people" and then to ignore it so as not to give him the attention for the behavior or give a reaction. Time outs don't work too well with him at his age and we only use them when he does something like hit. |
Anonymous
This is the method that I use as well - stops her in her tracks everytime. |
Anonymous
| please don't feed the troll. |