Would you discipline a 3.5 year old for this?

[Anonymous]

ignoring at child is teaching the silent treatment at a young age. Your mad at me therefore I will not talk to you. I don't think that is very smart. Children need to learn how to handle their anger properly. Lashing out with words or physical force is not appropriate behavior and they should have consequences for doing these things, other than the mother ignoring the behavior. Time out, no tv, whatever. It works if you spend the time to do it every single time, not just when you feel like putting in the energy to discipline your child.

[Anonymous]

You can ignore the mean comments without ignoring the child. I agree, consistency is the rule, but the more time you spend addressing the mean comments, the more important you make them.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You can ignore the mean comments without ignoring the child. I agree, consistency is the rule, but the more time you spend addressing the mean comments, the more important you make them.

You can ignore the comment, but you need to address the anger.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:ignoring?
that's why later on when they become teenagers they kill the parents, they shoot clasmates, they kill themselves...
YES you MUST discipline because he is doing it on purpose and he intends to hurt you!

You are crazy. Why do I have the feeling you are the same crazy poster from all the other threads?

What do you suggest? Belting the kid or something??? If this is really how you think, then I'm really very worried for your children.

What? You didn't know that "I'm going to call you pee pee!" = teenage suicide and murders!

[Anonymous]

It's not EQUAL. It's consequence of the parent's reaction to the child's behavior.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:lol

alright... "i'm sorry you're frustrated..."
do you really believe a child can understand what you mean?

oh please!

Funny. My 3.5 year old daughter just came to me and said "This rubber band just broke because I got too FUSTERATED."

I thought of your post.

Yeah, a 3.5 year old child can understand "I'm sorry you are frustrated." Well, mine can anyhow. lol

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It's not EQUAL. It's consequence of the parent's reaction to the child's behavior.

You mean: "I'm going to call you pee pee!" => teenage suicide and murders?

That makes so much more sense.

[Anonymous]

To be a voice of moderation here, I'll say that I think there are some times when ignoring is the best option and sometimes addressing the behavior is.

The poster said she has already told her son that when he is angry he needs to express his anger in a different way. She has addressed the behavior. Only she knows if he is saying this ONLY to get a rise out of her (for attention, so denying the attention by ignoring could work) or if he still doesn't understand the proper way to express himself.

I would try ignoring the first time a comment comes up. If the child escalates the behavior, then remind him of the proper way to express himself. If he still doesn't bite, then maybe he needs a 5 minute time out so he can "calm down" to express himself. Use the time-out as a thinking time and phrase it that way, rather than as a punishment.

It seems like the child is testing his limits. Mom then has to explain and set the limits, then reinforce consistently. Hopefully there will be some change in behavior with that process. Good luck!

[Anonymous]

15:21 You're my hero. I just love that your daughter thought to tell you she loved you while she was mad at you.

For what it's worth my parents used to tell me that our house had rules because they loved me and wanted what's best for me. One day, a friend asked why I couldn't just go do something my parents had forbidden and indignantly I replied, "Because MY parents love me."

My mother says she nearly wept with joy.

Discipline and rules must be age appropriate, as should be the language used to explain them, but they should be used! You can correct behavior without feeding into it.

[Anonymous]

I remember very clearly that when growing up we knew that we had to address adults (including parents) with respect. At the age of 3 1/2, a child is old enough to learn that lack of respect will carry a minor consequence. Time out is minor, but still allows the parent to address the behavior.

On a related note, my 6 year old told me yesterday that if I went to do something fun without him, he would kick me out of the family. I told him that was fine - he should get ready to run an advertisement for a new mommy who would take care of two kids. I provided plenty of detail about what the new mommy would have to do and what she could expect, and my husband (bless him) jumped in with a few comments about the difficulty of finding someone to fit the bill. After some thought, he backed off and apologized - but it has taken a while to get to this point.

[Anonymous]

We're also having major trouble with respect and our 3 1/2 y.o. I'd rather him make some of the remarks I've heard in this post than "I'm going to kick you in the face," which he often says to me when angry, and of course I don't know where he came up with this. I really hope the threes are more "terrible" than the twos, which I've heard and agree with. Discipline (time outs) has NOT been a deterrent and after reading comments here, I'm going to try ignoring just for kicks. The issue of whether to ignore or discipline bad behavior may depend on both the behavior and the child.