I want to punch my husband in the face
![[Post New]](/jforum/templates/default/images/icon_minipost_new.gif){kind=icon}
Anonymous
| DH is a wonderful husband and father and 99 percent of the time I adore him. But tonight he made me so mad. Our 17 month old is really verbal and good with his letters and numbers. He can identify and say the numbers 1-9 in any context as well as about 22 of the letters of the alphabet. He loves playing with those foam letters in the tub and through lots of exposure he picked them up. I thought it was pretty cool but that was it. Anyway, tonight DH tells me that he did some research today and he's concerned that a lot of kids who pick up letters and numbers quickly are autistic. WTF? I used to work with autistic children so I'm very familiar with them, but I just don't get why DH would say or do something like that. What would he like me to do about it? If he is, he is and we handle it, but I just don't get why he would put a concern in his overly anxious wife's mind. Thanks for letting me vent. |
Freeman
Member Offline
Member Offline
| I think you might be overreacting to this. Fathers can have concerns as well, and if he brought it up, he probably was looking for reassurance from you, since you have more experience with it. |
Anonymous
|
Valium, honey.
Valium. |
Anonymous
| If he has this concern he should hide it from you until what age? |
Anonymous
|
The foam letters probably got wet in the tub and are harboring autistic germs.
Seriously, I think you are overreacting. You know from your work that plenty of kids pick up numbers and letters easily and are not artistic. Tell DH he doesn't know what he's talking about. |
Anonymous
| *autistic, not artistic |
Anonymous
This is impressive! |
Anonymous
| Has it occurred to you that maybe HE is worried? Your post sounds a little self-absorbed... |
Anonymous
|
Dial it back, sister. if he's so great the 99% of the time, then why are you so upset that you could "punch him in the face" after he shared his observation about something? Yikes!
Are you fun to live with? Are you a safe place for your spouse to "fall"? |
Anonymous
OP - you are definitely overreacting. I read your post thinking you were going to say something like, "... and then he taught DC how to spell f**k with foam letters in the tub." Yes, it's disconcerting when husbands - or anyone - bring up the "what ifs" based on the "latest research". I totally agree with the PP that he did probably read that and was anxious about it and shared it with you because he thought you'd reassure him. He's a parent too and he cares about your kid and believe or not, dads are just as vulnerable to the worries and anxieties that a lot of moms feel when we read/hear that X may be related to Y. Give him a break. He's probably also a lot less educated about child development (don't know for sure, but just a hunch). The appropriate reaction isn't anger; it's empathy and reassurance. You said you're an anxious person too, so you get it. Let him know the reasons you're NOT concerned and that you can discuss with the pediatrician for further reassurance. |
Anonymous
But the way he presented it was- "You need to bring this up at his 18 month appt" and worry about it up until then. DH knows I'm a bit (read a lot) anxious about my child and we've had this discussion many times- please don't make me anxious about things I can do nothing about. I guess it just pisses me off that he'll say something then settle back to watch TV and I'm home with DS all day watching him and thinking about what may be. I guess I'm hoping to hear that other toddlers know their letters too and it's not out of the norm. |
Anonymous
| My brother knew his letters, numbers and time incredibly early. He has a genius level iq. He also falls somewhere on the autism spectrum. He exhibits some physical traits as well as some social. However, at 28, he was growing up before any of this would be recognized. I really wouldn't be pissed off at dh for the reasons you stated. Maybe since you know so much about autistic children, he figured he'd just voice what he read and let you take it from there. |
Anonymous
| OP again- and yes, besides anxiety I'm prone to overreaction. So I actually appreciate the remarks to simmer down. I know I need to more often. Glass of wine, here I come! |
Anonymous
| Since you asked, when my daughter was 18 or 19 months old she could identify most letters, upper and lower case. She four and a half now, just starting to read, and is not autistic. |
Anonymous
At 18 months my kid knew all the letters and #s to 10. He is most certainly not autistic. |