Anonymous wrote:It sounds OP like she is almost at the point where she might need inpatient services. Something intensive for a couple weeks to figure out what is going on and what direction to take. Not being able to leave her alone with the kids and her detachment from everyone around her means this is getting serious. Does she threaten to hurt herself or commit suicide?

It sounds like she needs a lot more than a community therapist. I would contact a mental health association in your area and get some support for yourself and also maybe some ideas of other resources. There was a thread of mental health resources posted here a few months ago but I can't find it when I search.

That said, it's interesting that her current therapist is not responding to her in a way that suggests they believe there's serious cause for concern. It does make me wonder if there is something else going on here.

Anonymous wrote:

I agree with this. OP, you need to be more proactive. If your descriptions are accurate, your wife's behavior really needs to be addressed on a level that her current therapy isn't addressing.

That said, it's interesting that her current therapist is not responding to her in a way that suggests they believe there's serious cause for concern. It does make me wonder if there is something else going on here.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

I agree with this. OP, you need to be more proactive. If your descriptions are accurate, your wife's behavior really needs to be addressed on a level that her current therapy isn't addressing.

That said, it's interesting that her current therapist is not responding to her in a way that suggests they believe there's serious cause for concern. It does make me wonder if there is something else going on here.

OP here. I believe that her therapy is focused on her depression, how she feels she has lost herself, reframing how she thinks about things using CBT. She doesn't seem to have a lot of insight into how her parenting has changed dramatically. She is shut down emotionally and doesn't seem to get the emotional dimension of how things impact others, even the kids. DW is very good at seeming more functional than she is and is at her best one on one. It is in a social context that the issues become apparent. The therapist has a CBT background and specializes in depression. DW said she said that it was a judgment error to leave the kids and the therapist let it go. I was glad that she mentioned it, but the lack of resulting plan concerned me too, obviously. Anyone who had known DW in the past would have thought she was very cautious, it's quite a departure, but the therapist has no way of knowing that or how impulsive she seems now. So when I voice concerns about her interactions with the kids (shared by friends, neighbors, etc) it's me as her enemy. I am not involved in her therapy process. When she sees the psychiatrist she focuses on how sad she is or isn't, not if she is interactive, etc. All of it is self reported by her in both contexts. I didn't know much about therapy and was so relieved when she finally went but might not be the right kind/person.