Help! My no desire for sex = upset husband

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[Post New]10/17/2011 21:47
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Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Imagine asking him to mow the lawn when he's that tired--that's how I would feel about him wanting sex at the end of a long day alone with the kids.


So being intimate with your spouse is the emotional equivilant of mowing the lawn.

Stay classy, DW.


It is when you are bone tired, but how would you know?
[Post New]10/18/2011 08:39
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Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:we made a commitment to have sex thursday nights, regardless of whatever happens (unless one of us us sick or traveling). Sounds weird and artificial, but actually has been good because we've gotten back in the swing of things (so to speak) and since I know its going to happen I can actually think about it ahead of time and get excited,take a long shower, have a glass of wine, etc whereas when its sort of sprung on me after dishes and lunches packed and I am firing off emails and then just looking forward to having a good night of sleep I am not in the mood. Plus, our house is cleaned on thursdays and I do not cook that night--DH orders in or picks up something and gets home early enough to help out with kids so that we have our time......


I tried this and my XH complained because it wasn't "spontaneous".
I really just could not win with that man.
[Post New]10/18/2011 08:52
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ThatSmileyFaceGuy
Member Offline
A guarenteed scheduled night is nice. But it also helps to be spontaneous now and then.

"Yes we will certainly have sex on Thursday, but right now I'm really in the mood."
[Post New]10/18/2011 14:27
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Anonymous
ThatSmileyFaceGuy wrote:A guarenteed scheduled night is nice. But it also helps to be spontaneous now and then.

"Yes we will certainly have sex on Thursday, but right now I'm really in the mood."


Also, too, nothing sexier than the prospect of "Awwwwww, c'mon! Pleeeeaasse! It's Thursday night! You PROMISED!"

[Post New]10/18/2011 23:52
quote
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Imagine asking him to mow the lawn when he's that tired--that's how I would feel about him wanting sex at the end of a long day alone with the kids.


So being intimate with your spouse is the emotional equivilant of mowing the lawn.

Stay classy, DW.


That's not entirely fair. Think about when you've had "one of those days" at work or at home and are just exhausted. You see your spouse after a day apart and all he/she wants to do the second he/she sees you is to vent about the (perceived) crisis du jour and all of the slights he/she has endured.

You are no more obliged to perform then than you are later.
[Post New]06/06/2013 22:18
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Anonymous
I have no idea where to begin all I know is that my sexual desires stopped about a year ago, me and my boyfriend all we do is argue because we don't have sex , I have no desire" I mean I try , but you know it just doesn't work, I've tried watching porno movies nothing works....not even thinking about another man that I want to desire works....I get disgusted thinking about sex now...everything was fine until a year ago, I had my hormones right by libido was high , I was a sexual person and for some reason now, I don't want to have it don't like it, get away from me it just disgusts me, I have no idea what to do anymore.....I know there's something that my boyfriend did to me in the past, he cheated on me,
I found a voicemail on his phone and due to the fact that I still have that on my mind after a year and a half he still won't tell me the truth, and it kinda hurts cause everytime he desires to have sex that comes up and I and up telling him that I don't want to have sex due to the fact that he's never told me the truth ...n even if my libido was high the way it's supposed to be with that in my mind I don't think I can ever have sex with him
yesterday was one year anniversary of no sex ....I've told him that I'm on the pre menopause but he doesn't understand ...I said as long as I'm going to pre menopause I have no desire sex but he just doesn't understand I don't know what to do anymore can anyone help...
[Post New]06/07/2013 07:26
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Anonymous
I think monogamy kills desire for many married people.

I just don't want to have sex with my husband very often- its too intimate. I fantasize a lot about having hot sex with someone new and these thoughts have gotten less vanilla over the years as the monogamy plods along.

The whole fuss about female Viagra this week is very interesting. The man who worked on developing this did so when his girlfriend of 7 years stopped wanting him.
[Post New]06/07/2013 09:09
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Anonymous
Women say they want a man's devotion and support, and I guess they do; but it bores them in the long term. Being devoted, supportive and providing resources doesn't actually spark attraction.

Well muscled, aloof dicks get laid more because that's sexier than being a reliable schlub who grinds it out every day for the family. Which is a shame, because a reliable housewife who is sexually aggressive and voracious in bed is sexy as hell. Whereas, a reliable, sexually aggressive husband is apparently a pain in the ass.
[Post New]06/07/2013 16:36
quote
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:Women say they want a man's devotion and support, and I guess they do; but it bores them in the long term. Being devoted, supportive and providing resources doesn't actually spark attraction.

Well muscled, aloof dicks get laid more because that's sexier than being a reliable schlub who grinds it out every day for the family. Which is a shame, because a reliable housewife who is sexually aggressive and voracious in bed is sexy as hell. Whereas, a reliable, sexually aggressive husband is apparently a pain in the ass.


Preach it, brother.
[Post New]06/07/2013 16:53
quote
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Women say they want a man's devotion and support, and I guess they do; but it bores them in the long term. Being devoted, supportive and providing resources doesn't actually spark attraction.

Well muscled, aloof dicks get laid more because that's sexier than being a reliable schlub who grinds it out every day for the family. Which is a shame, because a reliable housewife who is sexually aggressive and voracious in bed is sexy as hell. Whereas, a reliable, sexually aggressive husband is apparently a pain in the ass.


Preach it, brother.


Yes, your antediluvian battle-of-the-sexes view is sure to get you laid ...
[Post New]06/07/2013 17:03
quote
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Women say they want a man's devotion and support, and I guess they do; but it bores them in the long term. Being devoted, supportive and providing resources doesn't actually spark attraction.

Well muscled, aloof dicks get laid more because that's sexier than being a reliable schlub who grinds it out every day for the family. Which is a shame, because a reliable housewife who is sexually aggressive and voracious in bed is sexy as hell. Whereas, a reliable, sexually aggressive husband is apparently a pain in the ass.


Preach it, brother.


Yes, your antediluvian battle-of-the-sexes view is sure to get you laid ...


Slow down toots. I barely know you.
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