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I am a horrible mother
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Anonymous
You say that like you might say "the sun rises in the east". This is far from universal. |
Anonymous
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1) take a deep breath.
2) go get a HUGE glass of water. Drink it. Refill. Drink that glass of water too. 3) eat a snack. Doesn't have to be much...a piece of chocolate, a banana, a slice of bread 4) find your happy place...for me, it was putting DS in the Moby mopping the kitchen floor while singing You are my Sunshine. I am SURE I looked ridiculous but now, months later, I still revert to that when we are having a bad day and DS instantly calms. DH teases me mercilessly about it because I look nuts! But it works. 5) if you are still riled up, go scream into a pillow...let it ALL out. This is SO normal, OP. I yelled at my 18mo last week because would not go to sleep and I felt sooo bad...but I am human. Flawed and impatient and short tempered. I try so hard to change those character traits but they creep up sometimes. You are a good mom who is having a bad day. But ultimately, you are a good mom! Okay, go on now...to your happy place... |
Anonymous
<raises hand> Fellow Horrible Mother here, then! I totally yelled at my 5 week old--completely sleep deprived, over my head, anxious, depressed, she would not stop crying, and I lost it for a second. Felt awful about it, too. The baby? Was fine. Horrible Mothers of the world: UNITE! |
Anonymous
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You are not a horrible mother.
I fed my baby, I burped him, checked his clothes to see if everything was finr,changed... did everything one day he didn't stop crying and I was loosing my mind so I left him in the crib for a 10-15 min... I stay in the living room crying when I came back he was falling as sleep. I felt bad but in the same time maybe that's what he needed to stay by him self I guess. |
Anonymous
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I yelled at my DS when he was around 6 weeks--he ate constantly, was always attached to me, colicky, no sleep. I believe I yelled somthing along the lines of "OMG, F****G, GO TO SLEEP!!". Not my proudest moment, to say the least.
DS is 11 yrs old now. He's fine, a nice, well adjusted smart boy. He clearly has no memory of it.  You're fine. Sometimes you get driven to the brink. Take PPs advice, and drink a lot of water, eat enough, and don't stress over one small incident like that.
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Anonymous
This. And also, don't be afraid to supplement with formula if you need to. I know there's alot of pride involved with breastfeeding, and personal feelings of failure when it's not enough. But so long as you give your baby what he needs, you are not a bad mother. Also, yelling at the baby one time does not mean you have PPD. 5 weeks is a tough time. Just find another way to vent your frustrations- go outside and scream if you have to, but don't yell at the innocent. he's just trying to make sure he lives. |
Anonymous
| No, you are not a horrible mother. You sound like a normal new mom having a bad day. Yelling isn't the ideal, but come on...it does happen from time to time. That doesn't mean you have PPD or need professional help. You are probably just so exhausted that you're not acting like yourself. |
Anonymous
| OP ignore the huge bitch. Just to add on to what other PPs are saying: do whatever you can to make sure that you are eating and sleeping. I have the shortest fuse with my little guys when I haven't net my own physical needs. If your DC will take a bottle, pump during the day and have your DH give him a bottle at night so you can go to bed for a little before he wants to nurse again. |
Anonymous
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Do you really think the 5 week old knew what it meant when she yelled? OMG, people, lighten up! OP, there is a reason most of us aren't capable of remembering our infancy. Give yourself some grace and forgiveness to make mistakes, everyone does (even snobby DCUMers who would never admit to being an imperfect mother).
Go get some Pulsatilla. It's a homeopathic perfect for fussy babies who "cannot be put down". You'll be suprised at how wonderfully it works. Then, get some Sepia for yourself...it is a homeopathic for new mothers to help calm your anxiety. Hope this helps. Homeopathy is gentle...you'll love it. |
zumbamama
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| If you were really a horrible mother, OP, you wouldn't feel bad about yelling. A horrible mother would continue to yell. Don't be so hard on yourself. |
Anonymous
| You're defintely not a horrible mother. I have 10-month old twins. I remember one day around 4 weeks, DD wouldn't stop crying and I yelled at her quite loudly. I still feel bad when I think about it, but she's fine and one of the smiliest kids you'll ever meet. |
Anonymous
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Go and buy some bottles and formula.
There is no need to go through this - or to yell at four-week-old babies. Ridiculous. |
Anonymous
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You know, I agree there is nothing wrong with formula. There is, however, a little too much give the baby formula to address the issue in the responses, leanign toward smaking OP feel guilty for not supplementing.
Is the baby having enough wet diapers, has the baby been gaining weight, these are indicators of whether her supply is sufficient? Is there any sign other than constant nursing that the mother is not producing enough milk? As an earlier PP pointed out, constant nursing is a normal thing all EBF goe through because it is a means to stimulate more milk production prior to a growth spurt. Clearly OP wants to EBF or she would not be doing it. It is 5 weeks in, it can be hard. OP, take it one day at a time, do not think this is how yours days are going to go infinitely into the future. You have the option to move to formula (or just supplementing) if you want to, but do not let a bunch of anonymous commenters on a message board make the decision of whether you have a supply problem. |
Anonymous
| 11:35 here, please forgive the typos. |
Anonymous
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GIVE HIM SOME FORMULA!! It will calm him down, calm YOU down, and help take the edge off for both of you.
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