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Expectant and Postpartum Moms
Expecting moms who've already have 1+ - what's your advice for first time expecting moms?
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Anonymous
OMG, me too! I started passing gas immediately and the nurses and my doctor seemed content with that. Next time I will not leave he hospital until I successfully poop!! First poop (6 days after my c-section) was the worst experienve of my life!!!! |
sybersus
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This sounds like great advice. Are there any breastfeeding books that you found particularly useful? Thanks!
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Anonymous
Make plans for your due date. Easy to cancel plans, but still plans. Since most first-times go late, it can help with the 'OMG I'm still pregnant!' feeling if you have a fun adult activity to look forward to (movie, last fancy date with DH, dinner night with girlfriends, etc.). Sort of a consolation prize for still being pregnant 
Other best piece of advice I got: "if you don't like the parenting book, throw it out and get another book." Every child is different, those books are not fool-proof instruction manuals, and within a week or so you will be the expert on your individual child, so listen to your gut. But don't discount books / advice all together - for a first timer who's new to all this, they are great sources of information. Just think of them as suggestions instead of gospel. As for BFing - disagree with the advice that you'll just figure it out. Some women do, but many of us need help. If you have an easy(er) start - great! But also good to have the name/number of a good LC you can call, and ideally some friends who've been through it that you can commiserate with. A new moms BFing support group can be invaluable for this - I went to the one at the Breastfeeding Center of Greater Washington, but they are often offered at hospitals too. And they often provide a way to meet other new Mom's with babies the same age, so can provide parenting support / advice far beyond just breastfeeding. As for books - "The Nursing Mother's Companion" is a great one. (http://www.amazon.com/Nursing-Mothers-Companion-Revised/dp/155832304X). Kellymom is also a great online source of information (kellymom.com) |
Anonymous
My mom delivered me w/out drugs and said it was fine, but that THIS was when she wanted the epidural! |
Anonymous
| I had such a bad experience with my first post partum poop that I took stool softeners every day starting the week before my due date. After delivering, I remember going to pee and poop would just kind of fall out too, and I didn't even care. ANYTHING but that first post partum poop!!! |
Anonymous
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You've gotten some good advice that I'll reiterate.
1. Definitely follow the colace (stool softener) advice you got above. 2. Remember that everything (usually good and bad) is just a phase and it will pass. 3. A second-time mom said to me when I was 8 months pregnant with my first that the baby will come out one way or another, I should spend my time planning for after the baby is out. 4. Get help with breastfeeding if you plan to do it. It's a bitch for the first few weeks but then gets better. 5. Listen to your instincts. You know your baby better than anyone. 6. Get sleep when you can, don't be a martyr. Your child will sleep eventually (in a few months if you're lucky, in a few years if you're not), but you'll need to take care of yourself in the meantime. 7. Enjoy your baby, it really does go by so fast. Signed, Mom of preschooler and 5 month old |
Anonymous
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I don't want this one to be controversial. It was helpful for me but maybe won't be for others.
Get your DH involved immediately with everything - bath, feedings (or at least burping if BFing), diapering, everything. I know new moms who wanted to be in charge of the newborn baby - and I don't mean this negatively, it's not an unusual reaction - but it then morphed into being in charge of the 1 yr old, the toddler, etc. Some of my friends regret this now! |
Anonymous
I think this is a great point!! |
Anonymous
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The baby blues.
The words sound kinda warm and fuzzy - like all you'll need to do is eat some nice ice cream and watch a chic flic and you'll be fine. Everyone is different but the baby blues hit me like a hammer. Starting about one week postpartum and then every day for two weeks, from 3pm to 7pm, I cried hysterically and felt trapped, closed in, and scared. It was the hormones changing in my body, which was the most pronounced during the late afternoon, early evening hours. Two weeks passed and they magically disappeared and I was totally fine, per my doctor's original advice/warning re: the possibility of getting them. At my follow-up doc appointment, they were gone but my doc was ready with a prescription pad in hand to prescribe me an antidepressant if needed, which makes me think it's pretty common. You may not get them but, if you do, tell the people you are close to and get some support. If they don't fade in a couple of weeks, make sure to talk to your doc about it. The baby blues are not PPD but they are nothing to shake a stick at. |
Anonymous
Bring fruit juice and/or prunes with you to the hospital when it's time to deliver. On the advice of my friends, I drank and ate these like crazy in the recovery room and it helped a lot. I also second the other PPs advice about sending your baby to the nursery to sleep at night. We had so much wonderful time together to bond during the day and the nurses were great about bringing DC in to nurse every 3 hours. In between, that sleep at the hospital was priceless!! (I sent DH home, too, and he was similarly grateful for the sleep.) |
Anonymous
I was going to write the same exact thing. I'll just add, let your DH do things the way he does them, and don't try to micromanage. If he figures out his own way of feeding, burping, washing, changing the baby, then this will free you from having to leave detailed instructions whenever you leave the baby with him. I'm not saying you shouldn't communicate with each other rand figure out what works best for all of you, I'm just saying, let him find his way the same as you will be finding your way. |
Anonymous
| If you're planning to breast feed, ask (and demand if necessary) for a visit from the hospital's lactation consultant. When I had my first child, I kept being told that the LC was too busy b/c there had been so many births that night. Instead, I relied on what turned out to be horrible advice on nursing from one of the nursery nurses who had the best intentions, but was entirely clueless. It got to the point where nursing was so unbearable painful, b/c I wasn't latching my baby on properly at all. I was crying hysterically between feedings, and was filled with anxiety because of the pain. Thank god my pediatrician had an LC who got me straightened out, but that didn't happen until day 2 of being home from the hospital. If I'd been more forceful about wanting to see an LC in the hospital, I think a lot of that trauma could've been avoided. |
Anonymous
I agree with all of the advice on the page, but this especially. Tell your husband now that, regardless of what kind of delivery you end up having, you want him to sleep in the hospital with you that first night, and that you'll need his help changing the diapers on that very first day. After all, if you end up needing a C-section, he'll HAVE to help you with that anyway. May as well get him prepared. In the end, he will appreciate being so involved from the very start. I agree whole-heartedly with the advice about using the hospital nurses, lactation consultants, colace (what a huge help). Also, if you do have a C-section (I had to have two), use the mesh panties. You may be thinking, "What in the world??" Trust me. Also, bring maternity clothes as your going-home outfit. You don't have to bring your third trimester clothes, but bring some from the 2nd trimester. If your baby cries constantly and is colicky, see the pediatrician. Don't suffer through it. And as others have said before, always remember and repeat to yourself, "This too shall pass." Enjoy your baby!
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Anonymous
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I remember before I gave birth to my first, I had read postings from other moms hating the mesh panties. I have to tell ya'll, after the c-section, I loved those mesh panties! They were the only thing I could wear.
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Anonymous
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my advise is to not pay any attention to that flame retardant thread. some organic zealot has taken ahold of it and is enabling mothers cracked out by nesting hormones (i used to be one). plastic is not evil. once your baby is 6 mo, something that is made of (gasp!) plastic will probably help keep you sane by distracting your baby.
also, i would get those first years nursing pads (with lanolin already applied) because it's hard to remember to apply lanolin after every feeding in the early days when you can really feel it if you don't use it. lastly, if you got newborn sized clothing that has tags attached, go return it. now. |