I’m sad, I lost another friend

Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:Perhaps because you are using terminology such as 'level up'. Such a dick term.


You dont know many people in their teens/twenties or follow popular culture, do you? Level up is a term that means you are advancing in life, much as you level up in a video game when you advance to the next, harder level.
Anonymous
People who are highly economically mobile do have this problem--I don't care whether OP's delivery is poor, it's essentially true. The dynamic does change, because the number of issues that you relate to each other about begin to shrink. If you're living in a multimillion dollar house and vacationing in Antibes, your friend that you grew up in poverty with isn't going to find you relatable anymore unless they've made similar strides. It's not the fault of either person. And it probably doesn't need to be as dramatic as poverty vs rich-- a college friend that's not doing as well may feel insecure and that will affect the dynamic.
Anonymous
I haven't heard of that term outside of video games...
Anonymous
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:If you are losing friends every time you "level up", it's because you are obnoxious about it. I have not lost a single friend despite "leveling up" a couple times.


Well I guess my friends can’t be happy for me when I level up and tell them. I don’t think I’m obnoxious, just telling them what’s going on in my life. I guess you can’t say the good parts, I mean most of this shit is earned through blood sweat and tears. They might see the leveling up but it’s not without hard work. And it’s not just me bragging, I’m also interested in their lives as well.


I don't hide my life either. I guarantee it is something with your delivery or how you talk about it.


+1 every time someone has leveled up and the friendship died it was because of them & their new priorities not me & mine.
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:People who are highly economically mobile do have this problem--I don't care whether OP's delivery is poor, it's essentially true. The dynamic does change, because the number of issues that you relate to each other about begin to shrink. If you're living in a multimillion dollar house and vacationing in Antibes, your friend that you grew up in poverty with isn't going to find you relatable anymore unless they've made similar strides. It's not the fault of either person. And it probably doesn't need to be as dramatic as poverty vs rich-- a college friend that's not doing as well may feel insecure and that will affect the dynamic.


I found this to be the case when I advanced my career. I was an admin assistant and found a new non-admin job, and I lost some friends. Misery loves company.
C3PO
Member Offline
When you said "leveled up," for a moment I assumed you were playing a video game. Who actually says that in the context that you clearly mean it?
Anonymous
I think it depends on how you talk to them. I have one friend who did a huge Reno on her house; doubled its size, but was super humble about it.

Another who is constantly complaining--omg it's SO hard to manage the contractors, omg it's SO hard to pick the right deck for next to my pool. Acting Woe is me when you have a crap ton more money than your friend who is trying to handle the bills each month...will definitely create a divide.
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:I think it depends on how you talk to them. I have one friend who did a huge Reno on her house; doubled its size, but was super humble about it.

Another who is constantly complaining--omg it's SO hard to manage the contractors, omg it's SO hard to pick the right deck for next to my pool. Acting Woe is me when you have a crap ton more money than your friend who is trying to handle the bills each month...will definitely create a divide.


LOL how do you humbly communicate that you’ve done a huge Reno on your house? Please elaborate. Truly the second version is the reality, dealing with the people is the worst part. There is an art here, I’ll figure it out eventually.
Anonymous
A childhood friend’s wife talks like this – leveling up and that crap. She’s insufferable and it is 100% because of the way she phrases things to make sure you know – with zero room for misinterpretation – that she’s rolling in money. I’m not broke or bitter or envious, I just find it really offputting when someone is constantly bragging and showing off.
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:I love this thread. It's the distraction I need from real life.

Please go on, I'll just lurk over here.


+1. As soon as I saw “leveled up” I grabbed the popcorn.
Anonymous
C3PO wrote:When you said "leveled up," for a moment I assumed you were playing a video game. Who actually says that in the context that you clearly mean it?


Right? How off-putting
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Or so it seems. I leveled up and I guess the dynamic changed and she no longer wants to engage. Sad, she was a college friend.

Happens all the time. I choose my own growth over their friendship every time. It hurts but it is what it is. Don't worry about it.


I don’t think merely getting richer is “personal growth.” Snort.
Anonymous
I'm always very happy for my friends when they meet with success. I'm sorry OP that this happened to you, but if you've lost "another" friend, perhaps it's something that you are doing, vs your success.

Anonymous
It’s lonely at the top, OP. Thoughts and prayers.
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