Should/How do I list kink in online dating profile?

post reply Forum Index » Relationship Discussion (non-explicit)
[Post New]06/07/2022 11:01
quote
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:Definitely mention it. As a recently divorced SW, I am thinking the same thing, though I do not have any definable kinks (I don't think I do), but I am pretty open to things - and have a variety of different lovers over the years to know that there are some "normal" lovers who are rather prudish and that is not me. As a woman, I've been hesitant to post anything super-sex specific on OLD sites, but would describe myself as kink adjacent? On the edge of kink? Thoughts?


‘open-minded’ or GGG
[Post New]06/07/2022 11:10
quote
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:A lot of people don't use their real name on dating apps and doctor their photos. Honestly if this is what you're into a lot of people aren't going to be interested in LTR. They might but you'd only find that out from dating them and really hitting it off. Most women do not want a submissive man and aren't seeking out some specific sexual encounter. LOL. Please don't waste our time.


Ugh. So judge-y!

I am a woman, and I see profiles for various kinks all the time. I think it’s best to be up front. The code words PP mentions are a good option. Or sign up for Fet Life, go to a club, or find a munch. Good luck!


Seriously? This guy only wants to date certain women who behave one way in bed. That's fine but he's the judge-y one.
[Post New]06/07/2022 11:12
quote
Anonymous
And it's not open minded to be only interested in being a submissive husband in bed. Same way it's not open minded to want to only be dominant in bed. It's against norms but it's not open minded.
[Post New]06/07/2022 11:23
quote
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:A lot of people don't use their real name on dating apps and doctor their photos. Honestly if this is what you're into a lot of people aren't going to be interested in LTR. They might but you'd only find that out from dating them and really hitting it off. Most women do not want a submissive man and aren't seeking out some specific sexual encounter. LOL. Please don't waste our time.


Ugh. So judge-y!

I am a woman, and I see profiles for various kinks all the time. I think it’s best to be up front. The code words PP mentions are a good option. Or sign up for Fet Life, go to a club, or find a munch. Good luck!


Seriously? This guy only wants to date certain women who behave one way in bed. That's fine but he's the judge-y one.


This. Op is only interested in one type of relationship. To me it makes sense to stick to dating apps that cater to his preference and try to find a personality match
[Post New]06/07/2022 11:24
quote
Anonymous
I live being dominant in bed and I am woman. But my exH only allowed me to try limited numbers of things (he was dominant himself), so my dreams remain unfulfilled. It takes a lot of trust to do certain things in bed for me and for a man, I guess. Kinks can’t be implemented with a random dude.

You will certainly find your partner and I would stress out that you are looking for a LTR with commitment. Just with a kink…
[Post New]06/07/2022 11:37
quote
Anonymous
No idea about the kink part, but it is a lock you will see people you know and people you know will see you. That’s just part of online dating.
[Post New]06/07/2022 11:58
quote
Anonymous
baltimoreguy wrote:I'm a 50-year-old man stepping into online dating for the first time.

I am looking for a woman who is looking for a submissive man. This is essentially a requirement for a relationship for me and so I'm wondering how explicit to be in my profile. I'm considering 3 different approaches:

1. State it outright
2. Frame it in figurative language (and maybe some acronyms like FLR) that an experienced dominant is likely to pick up on but might pass unnoticed by others
3. Be extremely oblique/don't mention it at all

In online dating, how often do you come across people that you know in real life? I worry that in a smaller city like Baltimore, particularly in my age range, it's fairly likely that someone I know will see my profile. So I guess I'm trying to thread a needle of finding someone who's looking for the same things as I am without sacrificing my privacy. Is that an impossible wish?


I'm a 35 year old guy and would be totally in!!
[Post New]06/07/2022 12:47
quote
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:
baltimoreguy wrote:I'm a 50-year-old man stepping into online dating for the first time.

I am looking for a woman who is looking for a submissive man. This is essentially a requirement for a relationship for me and so I'm wondering how explicit to be in my profile. I'm considering 3 different approaches:

1. State it outright
2. Frame it in figurative language (and maybe some acronyms like FLR) that an experienced dominant is likely to pick up on but might pass unnoticed by others
3. Be extremely oblique/don't mention it at all

In online dating, how often do you come across people that you know in real life? I worry that in a smaller city like Baltimore, particularly in my age range, it's fairly likely that someone I know will see my profile. So I guess I'm trying to thread a needle of finding someone who's looking for the same things as I am without sacrificing my privacy. Is that an impossible wish?


I'm a 35 year old guy and would be totally in!!


Except OP is a man looking for a woman.
[Post New]06/07/2022 12:47
quote
Anonymous
Dan Savage wrote a great column about this. Basically, your kink is common for men and dominant women are rare. Its 10 of you for every woman, and maybe an even worse ratio than that. His advise was to be extraordinary - in great shape, interesting, charming and whatever else you need to separate yourself from the pack. Otherwise, you may be better off just finding an open minded woman who will indulge you on occasion.

Good luck.
[Post New]06/07/2022 13:06
quote
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:A lot of people don't use their real name on dating apps and doctor their photos. Honestly if this is what you're into a lot of people aren't going to be interested in LTR. They might but you'd only find that out from dating them and really hitting it off. Most women do not want a submissive man and aren't seeking out some specific sexual encounter. LOL. Please don't waste our time.


Ugh. So judge-y!

I am a woman, and I see profiles for various kinks all the time. I think it’s best to be up front. The code words PP mentions are a good option. Or sign up for Fet Life, go to a club, or find a munch. Good luck!


Seriously? This guy only wants to date certain women who behave one way in bed. That's fine but he's the judge-y one.


Yes, seriously. If that is a deal breaker for him, it is not judgey. Maybe he can only get off that way. Let. Him. Live.
[Post New]06/07/2022 13:08
quote
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:No idea about the kink part, but it is a lock you will see people you know and people you know will see you. That’s just part of online dating.


I have never seen anyone I know in real life on a dating app.
[Post New]06/07/2022 13:40
quote
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:No idea about the kink part, but it is a lock you will see people you know and people you know will see you. That’s just part of online dating.


I have never seen anyone I know in real life on a dating app.


I have!
[Post New]06/07/2022 13:54
quote
baltimoreguy
Member Offline
Has anyone here ever actually met someone on FetLife?

Doesn't really function as a dating site as far as I can tell. Do you just send unsolicited messages to people?

In particular, any woman saying she's looking for a man seems to be a scammer
[Post New]06/07/2022 14:02
quote
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:No idea about the kink part, but it is a lock you will see people you know and people you know will see you. That’s just part of online dating.


I have never seen anyone I know in real life on a dating app.


I have!


My own sister stumbled across me (a married man) on a dating app. Only it wasn’t my profile, it was a buddy of mine whose profile pic was a photo of me and him. Very bizarre but I’ve never confronted him about it. Also the profile didn’t make clear at all which dude was on the app (no “I’m the one on the left!”) so my poor sis had no way of knowing it wasn’t actually me.
[Post New]06/07/2022 14:03
quote
Anonymous
2
post reply Forum Index » Relationship Discussion (non-explicit)
Message Quick Reply
Go to: 

Search   Recent Topics   Hottest Topics