Should/How do I list kink in online dating profile?

[Anonymous]

baltimoreguy wrote:Has anyone here ever actually met someone on FetLife?

Doesn't really function as a dating site as far as I can tell. Do you just send unsolicited messages to people?

In particular, any woman saying she's looking for a man seems to be a scammer

It’s certainly not how most people use FL, and yes, most women seeking men are total scammers. I agree with the PPs about discreet abbreviations in your conventional profile, or if you’re concerned about being outed as a kinkster by people you know, even just a vague “open minded and appreciates take-charge women” or something may help narrow the responses.

In general, though, it’s hard to be insistent on finding a partner who is already into the precise thing you are into. Which is why many people on FL are in open relationships.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:A lot of people don't use their real name on dating apps and doctor their photos. Honestly if this is what you're into a lot of people aren't going to be interested in LTR. They might but you'd only find that out from dating them and really hitting it off. Most women do not want a submissive man and aren't seeking out some specific sexual encounter. LOL. Please don't waste our time.

Ugh. So judge-y!

I am a woman, and I see profiles for various kinks all the time. I think it’s best to be up front. The code words PP mentions are a good option. Or sign up for Fet Life, go to a club, or find a munch. Good luck!

Seriously? This guy only wants to date certain women who behave one way in bed. That's fine but he's the judge-y one.

That’s not judge-y. That’s knowing what you like and what turns you on. Nothing wrong with that!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No idea about the kink part, but it is a lock you will see people you know and people you know will see you. That’s just part of online dating.

I have never seen anyone I know in real life on a dating app.

Well they’ve seen you. I once almost said hi to a woman I walked past at national airport thinking she was a former colleague I couldn’t quite place and it would be awkward to ignore her until I realized I recognized her from her tinder profile.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
I have never seen anyone I know in real life on a dating app.

I have seen coworkers, parents who use the same day care as I do, and my kids schoolteachers.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
I have never seen anyone I know in real life on a dating app.

I have seen coworkers, parents who use the same day care as I do, and my kids schoolteachers.

Me too! And one friends husband.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:No idea about the kink part, but it is a lock you will see people you know and people you know will see you. That’s just part of online dating.

“a lock”

I see what you did there

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
I have never seen anyone I know in real life on a dating app.

I have seen coworkers, parents who use the same day care as I do, and my kids schoolteachers.

Yes, I've seen all of these on OLD.

[Anonymous]

baltimoreguy wrote:Has anyone here ever actually met someone on FetLife?

Doesn't really function as a dating site as far as I can tell. Do you just send unsolicited messages to people?

In particular, any woman saying she's looking for a man seems to be a scammer

Yes, I have met many kinky people on FetLife.

[Anonymous]

OP: I am a dominant man, and I find it easier to meet a vanilla woman and teach her what I like. That's worked pretty well for me, and I get to be their first.

[Anonymous]

Go play on Feeld.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP: I am a dominant man, and I find it easier to meet a vanilla woman and teach her what I like. That's worked pretty well for me, and I get to be their first.

Isn’t that because you are… dominant?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm with you.

I use figurative language. While I'm looking for the opposite, I mention that I am on the left of the slash. You could say, I'm right of the slash.

Say non-vanilla. Say you're looking for an alpha woman. If you're on Fet, say you have FL profile that you will be happy to share.

Mention SSC, RACK. I have most of these on my profile because I don't want to connect with someone who is also not into what I am. It's a waste of time for everyone involved. I'm in NoVA and at our age, I don't really care if someone I know sees me. Also, go to B'more Playhouse. Or the Crucible. Meeting people face to face in those clubs is one the best ways to get noticed. People may introduce you to other people and you never know what can come of it.

“Non-vanilla man looking for strong Lady to take me in hand”

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Dan Savage wrote a great column about this. Basically, your kink is common for men and dominant women are rare. Its 10 of you for every woman, and maybe an even worse ratio than that. His advise was to be extraordinary - in great shape, interesting, charming and whatever else you need to separate yourself from the pack. Otherwise, you may be better off just finding an open minded woman who will indulge you on occasion.

Good luck.

Or a professional Somme

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Dan Savage wrote a great column about this. Basically, your kink is common for men and dominant women are rare. Its 10 of you for every woman, and maybe an even worse ratio than that. His advise was to be extraordinary - in great shape, interesting, charming and whatever else you need to separate yourself from the pack. Otherwise, you may be better off just finding an open minded woman who will indulge you on occasion.

Good luck.

Or a professional Somme

“Domme”

[Anonymous]

I haven't been in Fetlife in years and years, but 100% there is an active kink community in Baltimore and DC and they all had FL profiles.