How did you know you were done having kids?
![[Post New]](/jforum/templates/default/images/icon_minipost_new.gif){kind=icon}
Anonymous
|
I have 3 and had a painful 3rd pregnancy where I couldn't play with my kids actively and am now in the newborn trenches. I don't want to lose another ~year of enjoying parenting my existing kids because I'm physically unable to run around with them or too tired to be present and fully and happily engaged with them. They're little kids years go by too fast to not be fully able to enjoy another one.
If I could snap my fingers and have like another 4 year old I wouldn't, but I can't so we're done |
Anonymous
| I knew I wouldn't have more than 2 after I had hyperemesis gravidarum with the first. Didn't want to have an only so knew I would go back for a second but absolutely no way was I going to put my body through that for a third. I also had planned C-sections, I made sure I had a tubal right after I had the second C-section. |
Anonymous
I’m 38 too and have two kids. My husband is completely done so in some ways that makes it simple but I find myself feeling sad about the window that is closing. I don’t realistically think I could manage another pregnancy at this age with the two kids I have (I have had really hard pregnancies and a long term medical issue that is more complicated when I’m pregnant). So really the window is closed but still it’s hard to realize you don’t have a tiny kid anymore and you never will again. I keep reminding myself that it wasn’t a phase that could go on forever so it was going to end sooner or later… |
Anonymous
|
When I'm pregnant with #3 and my reaction to your post is hell nah I'm not having another at 38/39 lol!
Practicality wise, it puts off my retirement, will stretch me too thin, makes vacations more stressful and unaffordable and just doesn't add any net positives that I can see. |
Anonymous
|
We have three; I was 39.5 when the third was born. While in some ways four would be great, the factors that swayed us against it were: needing some breathing room in life; both of us working FT (and not wanting to stop); having zero family support; and age.
The work was probably the most relevant factor--I had zero interest in cutting back or quitting, and in reality it would have been me who had to do so. Even though my job is flexible, being a full-time working mom to four seemed like too much. I don't know any moms of four who worked FT, but plenty of moms of three who did, and the lack of representation seemed important. |
Anonymous
| I was 34 and found my third pregnancy pretty rough. I felt blessed to have a third healthy child and didn’t want to press my good luck going for a fourth. |
Anonymous
| About to have my second, two and done. It’s an easy choice for us, no doubt no questions we just know. So it should be a feeling like that. |
Anonymous
| If you're 38 and have three kids do the world a favor and stop. You have a big enough family already and you're not young. |
Anonymous
| I briefly considered a third but I felt that resources (my and my husband's individual one on one time as well as money) would be more strained with 3 and decided to just focus on the two I have. I'm 36 and I know the risk of a miscarriage is higher now and also not something I want to experience. |
jsmith123
Member Offline
Member Offline
|
Two primary reasons
|
Anonymous
| I know my max is two. I just have one now and am struggling with the decision about the second. Do I have enough resources (money, energy, social support). What if it’s twins? What if the kid has special needs? But if I had two I would know for sure my family is complete. |
Anonymous
If you don’t absolutely know/feel that you want another one, don’t have another one. |
Anonymous
If I had unlimited riches and a DH that was not wired to be neurotic, anxious and a perfectionist I would have 5 or even 7. But that’s not reality and my last pregnancy I almost died so there’s that. 2 and done here! |
Anonymous
This ^^ I would give anything to hold my girls as babies/toddlers again but I also don’t wish to go back and do it all over again. It’s too much fun getting to finally enjoy doing things as a family! |
Anonymous
| I wasn't so sure if I wanted one, two, or three when I had my first but then I had my second and I just felt so whole and compete. |