Anonymous wrote:High school is such a small spec in your existence. Nobody even thinks about high school anymore when you’re out in the real world. I think you’re super brave and cool to post here. I’m curious, how’d you find out about this site? I’m a guy and let me tell you that no confident guy puts down other people. He’s insecure big time and you had the confidence to reach out to us. It’s a huge win for you.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:NP, not on the lauren sanches thread.

When I was in HS some guy that I never really interacted with, but was older/popular said that I looked like Gonzo. Yep, I remember that 30 years later. But guess what. I ignored him (like wow, you say something to me and that's what you decide to say? Idiot), and grew into my face (!!) took good care of my skin and eyebrows (my skin was never blue btw) and am considerably attractive, very successful with lots of friends. That incident was just a blip. Yeah, so it will be for you. But it stung. Stupid HS.

Here I am with Harry Styles! Suck it Andrew or whatever your name was -- I actually can't remember. Andrew? Chris?

Anonymous wrote:NP, not on the lauren sanches thread.

When I was in HS some guy that I never really interacted with, but was older/popular said that I looked like Gonzo. Yep, I remember that 30 years later. But guess what. I ignored him (like wow, you say something to me and that's what you decide to say? Idiot), and grew into my face (!!) took good care of my skin and eyebrows (my skin was never blue btw) and am considerably attractive, very successful with lots of friends. That incident was just a blip. Yeah, so it will be for you. But it stung. Stupid HS.

Anonymous wrote:Well, OP, you just inspired me to talk with my own HS son...I told him about this and how this casual, cruel words can really hurt someone...he said, "don't worry about me mom, that guy's an a**hole. I'm not an a**hole." Not just moms and adults who think this guy is jerk...I hope you feel better.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Not replying at all is fine. No witty retort is needed, and is not your style. You are delightful as you are and will be fine. Keep your head high knowing you are kind and respectful of others.

Yeah, sometimes silence is louder than words. And I promise you op, that one day this jerk is going to remember what he said to you and hate himself for it. You won’t have to go through that regret in your life because you’re a good, kind person. Hugs to you op! Enjoy your Saturday ❤️

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Insulting a woman’s appearance is the easiest and laziest insult. It is what weak men/boys do when they’ve got nothing else they can think of. Kind of like when a girl makes a small penis joke. It says nothing about you and everything about him. Not only is he awful and insecure. He is also not creative or very smart. He wanted to feel big by making you feel small. Don’t give him that. Don’t let him or his words live in your head. Your value isn’t even in your appearance. Your value is who you are, what you do and how you treat people. You are worthy. Look for ways to be kind to others this weekend. Do something nice for someone - that will make you feel better and it will also make the person you help feel better. I’m sorry this happened and I know it hurts. I’m 51 and I still remember the names I was called in high school. Be better than him. ❤️

+1 to this. I came here to say that him saying this to you reflects volumes about him and nothing about you.

You are not a waste of space. You are loved and you are important. Don't let the ba$tard$ get you down.

+1. His behavior is about him and not you. He is insecure. High school is not forever but that doesn’t make it less painful. Take good care of yourself and be kind

Anonymous wrote:What a great young woman you are. The fact that you wanted to thank each and every poster tells me that you are a kind, considerate and thoughtful person. These qualities will ensure that you will always draw quality people to you. You're gonna have a really wonderful adult life! Hang in there!

Anonymous wrote:OP. Hugs first of all. But realize that this jerk is peaking in High School. The real world will set him straight soon enough. You are a better person by virtue of this awful experience. You know compassion and how to treat others and that will get you far in life.

Anonymous wrote:Not replying at all is fine. No witty retort is needed, and is not your style. You are delightful as you are and will be fine. Keep your head high knowing you are kind and respectful of others.

Anonymous wrote:I agree with what others have said, but one added piece of advice...

Think of a one liner to say in these situations. I always felt better if I could say something back. For example, I've used this when people are mean for no real reason:

"Wow, you must have really low self esteem that you need to randomly be cruel to others. I hope you feel better soon."

Then if they get even more mean, because they're mad you called them out, I just say... "I wish the best. Good luck"

I used this strategy in High school and was left alone after that, because the reaction they got from me wasn't the one they wanted.

Anonymous wrote:In college, a guy friend once said I looked like the snake from the cartoon version of the Jungle Book. I still can’t see the resemblance but it really bothered me at first and I am pretty confident. People can say hurtful things and you can’t control that so I suggest focusing on what you can control including your response to him. I’m not saying to not feel hurt, that’s completely normal, but try to not dwell too much or think there was some meaning behind it. As a women, we deal with a lot of BS and judgment about everything, it’s unfair so I always try to be kind to people. I’ve also noticed that some of the meanest people are miserable and have something going on that makes them lash out including insecurity (even the hottest people!), trauma, having shitty parents, etc. Be kind, learn to love yourself and do what makes you happy. BTW, the shallow “popular” kids from high school usually turn out to be very unhappy people and struggle to find success post-high school.

Anonymous wrote:11:49 PP.

I re read your post (and got choked up by your account). You are an excellent writer. I wish I knew you IRL.

So I can tell you that that you are mature, articulate, intelligent and sensitive - all comes through in your writing.

I hope you have a mentor or two in your life; a non family member but a trusted adult (ideally female) who can support and guide you in all aspects of your teenage life now.

Do you journal? Have any creative ways as outlets for your emotions? Can you try to find your people whether that’s in a school sponsored activity or club? Like minded friends are out there, I promise. Any volunteer opportunities you could do with peers?

I love to say that I let my “freak flag” fly only when I hit middle age: then I began following my seemingly odd interests like genealogical research and presidential history and pop culture and amassing a very niche collection that I won’t even mention! When I was teen I was heavily focused on being cool and accepted and popular. Only got 2/3 - never was popular.

Anonymous wrote:Awww, hugs to you OP. Mom of two teen girls who’ve been through similar.

Let me share my story. I was a late bloomer-one full year younger than my classmates and tiny. Often was the new girl as we moved a lot for my dad’s job. I was the new girl for the last time my sophomore year of high school and made the cheerleading squad over the summer. I also wore orthodontic braces for five years.

I felt like I really, finally belonged at a school and my confidence soared. Early in the school year, I was leaving school in my super adorable uniform, feeling great. I heard a guy behind me call my name-and I turned to see the cutest senior guy - the quarterback-and smiled shyly and expectantly! Wow! He knows my name!

Then, he simply said, “Natalie? You’re gonna look so pretty when you get those braces off.” And then he walked away.

I dissolved into tears-absolutely mortified and hurt and embarrassed. What an absolute, colossal jerk that guy was-although I can say this now at 50-but my reaction as a teen was to take this comment seriously and allow it to affect me.

Please please please try to dismiss this weird comment you got. This guy is a colossal d**k.

You are worthy and kind and sensitive (just like I am) and that makes you beautiful! You can use your sensitivity and even this experience to affect change! You’d never say such a thing to anyone and are outraged by such rudeness. We need more kindness in the world!

Anonymous wrote:He was feeling bad about himself, and was cruel to you in an effort to make himself feel better. It is way, way better to be you - kind, quiet, self-reflective - than him, and if he were my son, I’d be ashamed and appalled. I would not give that a-hole another second of your consideration. Kudos to you for ignoring him; he didn’t get the satisfaction of the reaction he was hoping to elicit.

Anonymous wrote:This is not about you, this is about him, and what a cheap and insecure person he is that he needs to get validation this way.
My guess is that it was a bet or dare with a friend—that he had to tell some girl she looks like shrek and you just happened to be the unlucky one that walked by at the wrong time. It’s totally not about you. It’s about jerks being jerks. I’m way too old but I’ve come to the conclusion that 10-15% of people are just jerks. Some of them hide it better as they get older. You can’t let them shake your sense of self though. Just ignore them, minimize your interaction with them, and know that, as they move through life, they will eventually alienate more people than they attract.