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[b]great advice, I will do a combo of this and troubleshooting with him...Anonymous wrote:What happens when he wets? Does he wake up and get upset? Do you come in?
Can he change the sheets himself?
My gut feeling would be to not get involved and see if he can sort it out in the night. To put a waterproof cover on the mattress, provide clean sheets or an air bed in his room in case he wets and only supervise laundry in the morning.
will do, thx.Anonymous wrote:I'm not sure it's PDA-based if he's not awake to perceive the demand. I would think he's got some issue with the message not reaching the brain during sleep. But if you think he actually is awake, that's different.
Definitely try the "lasagna method" so he can handle it himself in the night. It's not worth waking up the whole family.
Thanks for sharing your experience. How did your son adjust? Did he just stop when the stressors eased?Anonymous wrote:My 17 YO is the same... HFA, PDA and when he is under significant stress he will still wet the bed (start of the school year, when his schedule changes, etc). I change the sheets for him in a very straightforward, quiet way. No big discussion, just let's get this cleaned up. He is already embarassed enough without making a big deal.
We did have him see a urologist and got an ultrasound of his bladder and kidneys just to be sure. He limits his liquids but really, there's nothing else to do except give him some space and let him adjust. Good luck.
We don't shame him- we just deal with it. but I do like the idea of enlisting him to find a solution.Thx!Anonymous wrote:It's not necessarily a PDA response. Autistic people can struggle with the process of sensing and interpreting internal bodily signals (this sense is interoception). I agree with you about the interoception part, he definitely struggles with that overall.
Maybe your son doesn't recognize these bodily signals and in the past mostly went on routine for when to use the bathroom?
My autistic teen daughter is like this. When her regular daily schedule changes -- school vacation, over the summer, etc. it really throws her off for eating, bathrooming, etc. She actually has to write out a schedule for herself to remember to do those things.
Autistic people also can struggle with changing/adapting their routines (inflexibility, rigidity).
Shaming is NOT the way to deal with it. Can you talk with him about it in a non-judgmental way to find a solution? I’m sure he doesn’t feel great about the situation.
Anonymous wrote:
What happens when he wets? Does he wake up and get upset? Do you come in?
We come in and quietly change the sheets, no shaming.
Can he change the sheets himself? HE IS REALLY SLEEPY THOUGH I GUESS HE COULD AT LEAST HELP. IT WOULD TAKE PRACTICE TO GET EVERYTHING ON-- WE DO USE MULTIPLE PADS ETC- BUT WOULD BE DOABLE.
My gut feeling would be to not get involved and see if he can sort it out in the night. To put a waterproof cover on the mattress, provide clean sheets or an air bed in his room in case he wets and only supervise laundry in the morning.
My son is 16. Has high functioning autism. He's been thru a lot of transition this year--changed schools, his sisters are in college and he misses them. Has just started his growth spurt. If we don't wake him up every night around 130am he will wet the bed. I don't even know when he's drinking enough for this to happen, he barely drinks at night! He does fit the profile for pathological demand avoidance--I did read somewhere that kids like this avoid their body's signals about being hungry or needing to pee because it's a sort of demand they have to remedy. Anyone btdt? We can get him checked out by a urologist but I sense there won't be anything physically wrong. We are all worn out emotionally--obviously this is a humiliating circumstance-- and even a bit physically from the alarm going off in the wee hours every night.
Hello, what information is reasonable to expect from a special education teachers and/or a child study team if you are withdrawing your student from a high school that would help determine his placement and programming in the new school?
And if your child ever changed high schools--could you share any insights that made his or her transition easier? TIA
And if your child ever changed high schools--could you share any insights that made his or her transition easier? TIA
hello all--my son is 16 yo. He has ASD ,dysgraphia, ASD, low working memory and sensory challenges. He is bright but school adversive his whole life. He just failed out of a more supportive CTE high school --it will be his 3rd out of district placement since 8th grade.
The pandemic severely impacted his middle school experience-first there was virtual school in his home district and then when the kids went back to in person it was a disaster because his public middle school was terrible. So he went to a out of district school that was essentially small group tutoring for kids with anxiety and school refusal. It was poorly run and reinforced a lot of my son's bad behaviors (elopement/work refusal/oppositional behavior towards teachers and fellow students).Freshman year was spent at a OOD placement that was too academically rigorous and did not offer the supports it said it would offer. he spent the rest of the year being tutored. This year we tried a school known for hands on learning with an agricultural focus and for supporting neurodiverse kids--my son loves animals and we thought he would thrive with hands on learning) but class sizes were too large and the supports weren't there.
We are faced with transitioning back into his public high school because the out of district placements in our area are geared toward much lower functioning kids. We have a cursory schedule set up for him composed of preferred subject electives and a combination of resource and inclusion classes. Hoping to find a good afterschool activity (likely something involving gaming and/or job training in food service or working with animals. He has a good sense of humor and can be social --he is in fact quite extroverted - but is young for his age, and young looking and we are afraid of what happens when he rejoins peers he knew in elementary that have advanced developmentally in the physical and social realms.
I am exhausted by the back and forth and I guess I am looking for stories of hope or advice if you have been thru the wringer with a kid like mine. I would also love to hear any tips you have in terms of what worked for reintegrating your child into a new school .
The pandemic severely impacted his middle school experience-first there was virtual school in his home district and then when the kids went back to in person it was a disaster because his public middle school was terrible. So he went to a out of district school that was essentially small group tutoring for kids with anxiety and school refusal. It was poorly run and reinforced a lot of my son's bad behaviors (elopement/work refusal/oppositional behavior towards teachers and fellow students).Freshman year was spent at a OOD placement that was too academically rigorous and did not offer the supports it said it would offer. he spent the rest of the year being tutored. This year we tried a school known for hands on learning with an agricultural focus and for supporting neurodiverse kids--my son loves animals and we thought he would thrive with hands on learning) but class sizes were too large and the supports weren't there.
We are faced with transitioning back into his public high school because the out of district placements in our area are geared toward much lower functioning kids. We have a cursory schedule set up for him composed of preferred subject electives and a combination of resource and inclusion classes. Hoping to find a good afterschool activity (likely something involving gaming and/or job training in food service or working with animals. He has a good sense of humor and can be social --he is in fact quite extroverted - but is young for his age, and young looking and we are afraid of what happens when he rejoins peers he knew in elementary that have advanced developmentally in the physical and social realms.
I am exhausted by the back and forth and I guess I am looking for stories of hope or advice if you have been thru the wringer with a kid like mine. I would also love to hear any tips you have in terms of what worked for reintegrating your child into a new school .
Thank you so much for this very thoughtful reply. I think you are right that we need to look harder at his meds -- he is currently trialing a higher dose of Zoloft. Next we will try a stimulant, which he's struggled with in the past (they inhibited sleep/appetite) but it's time to try again. As for school--I think it's a combination of sensory, anxiety, and not seeing the point of it. I am definitely considering a less conventional path like your niece's that combines home schooling with a job or any activity that permits socialization. One of my son's only motivators for school is connecting with other kids. Thanks again for sharing these helpful stories, I really appreciate it. And glad both your niece and daughter are doing so much better.
My son is a freshman in high school. He has high functioning autism, sensory issues, dysgraphia, ADHD, anxiety and serious visual processing challenges. He has disliked school pretty much his whole life--he is no stranger to school avoidance and telling the teacher he doesn't want to do classwork. We just moved him to a school 45 min away that has great programming for kids with his profile. It has a very thoughtful curriculum, kind, well-educated staff, and an excellent transition program that bridges to internships/community college/4 year college. In middle school he was in an inappropriate placement (for kids with anxiety and school refusal) which fostered lot of bad habits and low stamina for staying on task. (We tried it because he is very sensitive to wanting to be with "regular" kids and most schools in our area have a much lower functioning population).
With the new school we were hoping its positives would ease some of his avoidant, anxiety-driven behaviors and also mitigate the long commute. Though I know it is early days yet, he is already struggling to keep up with the school routine and is leaving class and complaining that he hates school. (We do have an RDI therapist we are working with and who can observe him in the school setting). Has anyone had a kid like this and come out on the other side? I am despairing that school will ever work for him. Even trade high schools have an academic component to them--it is hard to see what kind of program will prepare him to have some sort of productive job or career. Thanks in advance for any insights you can share if our story reminds you of yours!
With the new school we were hoping its positives would ease some of his avoidant, anxiety-driven behaviors and also mitigate the long commute. Though I know it is early days yet, he is already struggling to keep up with the school routine and is leaving class and complaining that he hates school. (We do have an RDI therapist we are working with and who can observe him in the school setting). Has anyone had a kid like this and come out on the other side? I am despairing that school will ever work for him. Even trade high schools have an academic component to them--it is hard to see what kind of program will prepare him to have some sort of productive job or career. Thanks in advance for any insights you can share if our story reminds you of yours!