Teen with ASD/ADD Struggling with Bedwetting

[kristenlc1]

My son is 16. Has high functioning autism. He's been thru a lot of transition this year--changed schools, his sisters are in college and he misses them. Has just started his growth spurt. If we don't wake him up every night around 130am he will wet the bed. I don't even know when he's drinking enough for this to happen, he barely drinks at night! He does fit the profile for pathological demand avoidance--I did read somewhere that kids like this avoid their body's signals about being hungry or needing to pee because it's a sort of demand they have to remedy. Anyone btdt? We can get him checked out by a urologist but I sense there won't be anything physically wrong. We are all worn out emotionally--obviously this is a humiliating circumstance-- and even a bit physically from the alarm going off in the wee hours every night.

[Anonymous]

What happens when he wets? Does he wake up and get upset? Do you come in?

Can he change the sheets himself?

My gut feeling would be to not get involved and see if he can sort it out in the night. To put a waterproof cover on the mattress, provide clean sheets or an air bed in his room in case he wets and only supervise laundry in the morning.

[Anonymous]

I'm not sure it's PDA-based if he's not awake to perceive the demand. I would think he's got some issue with the message not reaching the brain during sleep. But if you think he actually is awake, that's different.

Definitely try the "lasagna method" so he can handle it himself in the night. It's not worth waking up the whole family.

[Anonymous]

kristenlc1 wrote:My son is 16. Has high functioning autism. He's been thru a lot of transition this year--changed schools, his sisters are in college and he misses them. Has just started his growth spurt. If we don't wake him up every night around 130am he will wet the bed. I don't even know when he's drinking enough for this to happen, he barely drinks at night! He does fit the profile for pathological demand avoidance--I did read somewhere that kids like this avoid their body's signals about being hungry or needing to pee because it's a sort of demand they have to remedy. Anyone btdt? We can get him checked out by a urologist but I sense there won't be anything physically wrong. We are all worn out emotionally--obviously this is a humiliating circumstance-- and even a bit physically from the alarm going off in the wee hours every night.

That’s not what that means.

Make him get himself up or wet the bed and clean it himself. Assuming he’s high functioning as you say he is.

[Anonymous]

My 17 YO is the same... HFA, PDA and when he is under significant stress he will still wet the bed (start of the school year, when his schedule changes, etc). I change the sheets for him in a very straightforward, quiet way. No big discussion, just let's get this cleaned up. He is already embarassed enough without making a big deal.

We did have him see a urologist and got an ultrasound of his bladder and kidneys just to be sure. He limits his liquids but really, there's nothing else to do except give him some space and let him adjust. Good luck.

[Anonymous]

It's not necessarily a PDA response. Autistic people can struggle with the process of sensing and interpreting internal bodily signals (this sense is interoception).

Maybe your son doesn't recognize these bodily signals and in the past mostly went on routine for when to use the bathroom?

My autistic teen daughter is like this. When her regular daily schedule changes -- school vacation, over the summer, etc. it really throws her off for eating, bathrooming, etc. She actually has to write out a schedule for herself to remember to do those things.

Autistic people also can struggle with changing/adapting their routines (inflexibility, rigidity).

Shaming is NOT the way to deal with it. Can you talk with him about it in a non-judgmental way to find a solution? I’m sure he doesn’t feel great about the situation.

[kristenlc1]

Anonymous wrote:





What happens when he wets? Does he wake up and get upset? Do you come in?
We come in and quietly change the sheets, no shaming.
Can he change the sheets himself? HE IS REALLY SLEEPY THOUGH I GUESS HE COULD AT LEAST HELP. IT WOULD TAKE PRACTICE TO GET EVERYTHING ON-- WE DO USE MULTIPLE PADS ETC- BUT WOULD BE DOABLE.

My gut feeling would be to not get involved and see if he can sort it out in the night. To put a waterproof cover on the mattress, provide clean sheets or an air bed in his room in case he wets and only supervise laundry in the morning.

[kristenlc1]

Anonymous wrote:It's not necessarily a PDA response. Autistic people can struggle with the process of sensing and interpreting internal bodily signals (this sense is interoception). I agree with you about the interoception part, he definitely struggles with that overall.

Maybe your son doesn't recognize these bodily signals and in the past mostly went on routine for when to use the bathroom?

My autistic teen daughter is like this. When her regular daily schedule changes -- school vacation, over the summer, etc. it really throws her off for eating, bathrooming, etc. She actually has to write out a schedule for herself to remember to do those things.

Autistic people also can struggle with changing/adapting their routines (inflexibility, rigidity).

Shaming is NOT the way to deal with it. Can you talk with him about it in a non-judgmental way to find a solution? I’m sure he doesn’t feel great about the situation.

We don't shame him- we just deal with it. but I do like the idea of enlisting him to find a solution.Thx!

[kristenlc1]

Anonymous wrote:My 17 YO is the same... HFA, PDA and when he is under significant stress he will still wet the bed (start of the school year, when his schedule changes, etc). I change the sheets for him in a very straightforward, quiet way. No big discussion, just let's get this cleaned up. He is already embarassed enough without making a big deal.

We did have him see a urologist and got an ultrasound of his bladder and kidneys just to be sure. He limits his liquids but really, there's nothing else to do except give him some space and let him adjust. Good luck.

Thanks for sharing your experience. How did your son adjust? Did he just stop when the stressors eased?

[kristenlc1]

Anonymous wrote:I'm not sure it's PDA-based if he's not awake to perceive the demand. I would think he's got some issue with the message not reaching the brain during sleep. But if you think he actually is awake, that's different.

Definitely try the "lasagna method" so he can handle it himself in the night. It's not worth waking up the whole family.

will do, thx.

[kristenlc1]

Anonymous wrote:What happens when he wets? Does he wake up and get upset? Do you come in?

Can he change the sheets himself?

My gut feeling would be to not get involved and see if he can sort it out in the night. To put a waterproof cover on the mattress, provide clean sheets or an air bed in his room in case he wets and only supervise laundry in the morning.

[b]great advice, I will do a combo of this and troubleshooting with him...

[Anonymous]

kristenlc1 wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It's not necessarily a PDA response. Autistic people can struggle with the process of sensing and interpreting internal bodily signals (this sense is interoception). I agree with you about the interoception part, he definitely struggles with that overall.

Maybe your son doesn't recognize these bodily signals and in the past mostly went on routine for when to use the bathroom?

My autistic teen daughter is like this. When her regular daily schedule changes -- school vacation, over the summer, etc. it really throws her off for eating, bathrooming, etc. She actually has to write out a schedule for herself to remember to do those things.

Autistic people also can struggle with changing/adapting their routines (inflexibility, rigidity).

Shaming is NOT the way to deal with it. Can you talk with him about it in a non-judgmental way to find a solution? I’m sure he doesn’t feel great about the situation.

We don't shame him- we just deal with it. but I do like the idea of enlisting him to find a solution.Thx!

I’m sorry OP. This is PP with the autistic teen daughter. I didn’t word my post well. I didn’t think your post was shaming, but instead thought another PP was headed in that direction with their reply. Good luck!

[Anonymous]

OP, you sound like you know what you’re doing, and the fact that you’re not seeing him drink a lot at night is reassuring. Still, to be safe, I encourage you to get his blood sugar checked; a kid or teen returning to bedwetting unexpectedly is a common first sign of juvenile diabetes, which can happen out of the blue to otherwise very healthy kids (juvenile/type 1 has nothing to do with lifestyle). The period before diagnosis is generally the most dangerous, so I’d recommend just ruling it out. I do think your gut feeling that there’s no underlying medical issues is likely correct, but confirming that won’t hurt. Good luck.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, you sound like you know what you’re doing, and the fact that you’re not seeing him drink a lot at night is reassuring. Still, to be safe, I encourage you to get his blood sugar checked; a kid or teen returning to bedwetting unexpectedly is a common first sign of juvenile diabetes, which can happen out of the blue to otherwise very healthy kids (juvenile/type 1 has nothing to do with lifestyle). The period before diagnosis is generally the most dangerous, so I’d recommend just ruling it out. I do think your gut feeling that there’s no underlying medical issues is likely correct, but confirming that won’t hurt. Good luck.

DP and was coming to say if this is a new behavior (or reemergence of an old behavior), be sure to take him to the doctor just for peace of mind. There could be a medical cause (diabetes, constipation, also seizures...though of course that is rare).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, you sound like you know what you’re doing, and the fact that you’re not seeing him drink a lot at night is reassuring. Still, to be safe, I encourage you to get his blood sugar checked; a kid or teen returning to bedwetting unexpectedly is a common first sign of juvenile diabetes, which can happen out of the blue to otherwise very healthy kids (juvenile/type 1 has nothing to do with lifestyle). The period before diagnosis is generally the most dangerous, so I’d recommend just ruling it out. I do think your gut feeling that there’s no underlying medical issues is likely correct, but confirming that won’t hurt. Good luck.

DP and was coming to say if this is a new behavior (or reemergence of an old behavior), be sure to take him to the doctor just for peace of mind. There could be a medical cause (diabetes, constipation, also seizures...though of course that is rare).

This. Get it checked out right away. A seizure of only a few seconds is enough for this to happen.

Has it ever happened while awake?